DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter used to have a bad habit of biting her nails down to the skin. Over the years, she has done much better, which is why it is worrying me now that she is back to this behavior. I don’t know what is going on with her, but I’m sure that something is wrong. I try to get her to talk to me, but she’s unwilling to open up. She is an only child. To my knowledge, she may talk to her best friend about certain things, but I’m not sure. I’m at my wit’s end. My daughter is 19, so I can’t force her to do anything, but she does still live in my house. What can I do to help her? -- Nail Biter

DEAR NAIL BITER: You can reach out to her best friend. Let her know what your concern is -- namely, that nail-biting is a potential sign of something serious that your daughter is dealing with. Ask if she knows of anything that you should be aware of. Make it clear that you aren’t necessarily asking her to betray your daughter’s confidence. You are just concerned about her. Perhaps she can inquire on her own to see how your daughter is doing. Even if she doesn't report back exactly what she learns, she may be able to console your daughter. If there’s any red-alert situation, encourage her to inform you.

The most important thing is for you to keep the dialogue going with your daughter. Invite her to do things with you that you both enjoy. Find ways to spend time together so that you are in her company more. Resist the urge to ask a million questions. Just be with her to the best of your ability. Let her know you will support her no matter what is going on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter had friends over for the weekend at our summer cottage. I noticed that two of them sneaked off to be in the room together for an extended period of time, though I only realized this after the fact. I do not allow teenagers to sleep together in my house, even if they are already 18; my daughter knows that. I asked her to speak to her friends and let them know I thought that was disrespectful. They obliged and didn’t sneak off anymore. Should I tell their parents that this occurred? I’m not quite sure how to handle this. -- Crossing a Line

DEAR CROSSING A LINE: I’m not sure how helpful it would be to tell the parents that their teens were in a room behind a closed door for a while. You don’t know what happened -- if anything. You do know that you were able to enforce your house rules, even if it was after the fact. In the future, you can make it clear to the teens what the boundaries are and that if they cross them, they have to leave.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A new friend of mine who is a fitness buff recently told me that when she was much younger, she was bulimic. She described the whole scenario of how she got caught up in this behavior when she was in college and how, eventually, she got past it. She looks healthy today, but I do know that she is an overexerciser. She used to run until her knees gave out. Now, she bikes nearly 30 miles a day.

I am impressed by her fitness routine, but her recent revelation makes me wonder if the extreme nature of her exercise is unhealthy, too. I do virtually no exercise, so I have no idea how to gauge whether or not she is actually healthy. How can I support her, especially since she shared this story with me? I read once that the need to keep moving constantly can be a sign of an eating disorder. -- Help My Friend

DEAR HELP MY FRIEND: The fact that your new friend confided in you means there is a level of trust you two have forged. That’s a great thing. Since she is open to talking about her journey, continue the conversation. Listen to hear how she cares for herself, what she eats and generally how she feels about herself. You are not a doctor, so do not attempt to evaluate her health. Just listen. If anything she says worries you, tell her as much.

You can also admit that you got a little concerned, so you did some research. There is something known as exercise bulimia, which does not include purging -- vomiting -- but is an attempt to control body size through excessive exercise. Read here to learn more about it: healthline.com/health/exercise-bulimia-symptoms-treatments-and-more.

If you truly are worried about your friend, tell her that you learned about this. Encourage her to check in with herself and make sure she is not overdoing it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is heading off to college in what we know of politically as a purple state. We live in a blue state. He is not yet registered to vote and was about to do that before leaving home. But when we began to think about it, maybe it could be more impactful for him to cast his vote in a state that could use his vote more. In our state, it seems that most everyone votes for Democrats. That’s not the case in his college town. Do you think we should urge him to vote in this new town? -- Casting a Vote

DEAR CASTING A VOTE: What’s most important for your son is to exercise his right to vote. He needs to engage on this topic. Since you have talked to him about the political process for his whole life, you can make recommendations, but let it be his decision. Encourage him to pay attention to the political issues of his college town and at home. Point out that if he signs up to vote at home, he will likely have to cast an absentee ballot for midterms, so he has to pay attention to dates for mailing. If he chooses to vote in his college town, he has to make sure he has obtained the identification required there and knows when to vote and what the topics are.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My supervisor seems to respect only the employees who have children. For example, a co-worker of mine was running late to work the other day and said it was because her kids made her late. My supervisor, a mother of two, was understanding and laughed it off. My co-worker didn’t receive a write-up or any type of penalty for her tardiness. I was running late the other day because of car issues, and my supervisor made me stay an additional 15 minutes to make up for my tardiness. This is completely unfair and discriminatory. I would have no complaints about her if it weren’t for this issue, but I think it’s a pretty major issue. Should I make a formal complaint? -- Discrimination

DEAR DISCRIMINATION: If you feel confident enough, go to your supervisor first. Tell her that you want to talk to her about something sensitive. Get her attention and an agreement to listen. Then point out that you have noticed something that disturbs you -- namely, that she seems to accommodate employees with children while not doing the same for others. Acknowledge that she may not realize this, so you want to give her a couple of examples. Tell her what you told me matter-of-factly and without emotion. If you have more examples, be prepared to share those as well. Explain that you feel this is unfair.

Listen to see how she reacts. She may genuinely be unaware of her bias toward employees with children and may agree immediately to change her behavior. If you feel that she will not comply, speak to HR.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was having a heart-to-heart with a friend of mine when she told me a secret that sort of alarmed me. She was being candid, and I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, so I didn’t press the issue too much, but she said something about how she has struggled with suicidal thoughts in the past. Even though she spoke about it in a past tense, I can’t help but wonder if there is still cause for concern. We haven't revisited the conversation at all since then, but I’ve been thinking about mentioning it again. What would be the right thing to do after a revelation like that? -- Heart-To-Heart

DEAR HEART-TO-HEART: Carve out a private moment with her soon and tell her that you have been thinking about what she told you. Ask her if she still sometimes has suicidal thoughts. In the past few years, suicide rates have risen, in part due to the isolation of the pandemic. Tell her there is no shame in talking about her feelings and getting help. If she says she continues to struggle, thank her for confiding in you, but make it clear that you don’t know how to support her through this vulnerable moment. Offer to listen, and encourage her to seek professional help. Talking to a therapist would be perfect. In case of emergency, she should call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline -- all you have to do now is dial 988.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)