DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine passed away recently. She was loved and very popular, so a lot of people have been devastated by her loss. Some people have chosen to grieve publicly, but I have not. A lot of people that are publicly mourning my friend were NOT close with her while she was alive, so it feels as if they are using her death for sympathy or attention. I hate watching it happen, and I know my friend would have hated it, too. Should I start calling out people about their fake mourning? -- Fake Grief
DEAR FAKE GRIEF: Don’t be so quick to judge these other people and how they are reacting to your friend’s death. While they may not have been close to her the way you were, it is quite possible that they felt a connection to her or what she represented for them. When people die, it triggers a wide range of emotions. I often hear of people who will admit that they weren’t close to someone even though they were dramatically affected by the person’s passing.
Stop focusing on those other people. Focus inward instead. Allow yourself to grieve for your friend. Remember the good times you had with her and what made your bond special. Don’t begrudge others for what they are claiming or feeling.