DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is a pothead. He smokes first thing in the morning and all day long. Most of his friends do the same. At first, I liked it; I used to smoke a lot, too. But that was years ago. Now I am working a professional job and trying to build my career. It drives me crazy to wake up to the smell of weed every morning and go to sleep to the smell every night. I want to start expanding the things we do socially, but my boyfriend only wants to go out with people who smoke weed. I worry that as we get older, our priorities are shifting. I want more for my life, and I want my boyfriend to want more, too, but I don’t know how to get him to seriously consider new options. Do I just accept his way of living? Is it OK for me to want more -- even if that means we may break up? -- Fork in the Road
DEAR FORK IN THE ROAD: Talk to your boyfriend. Share your observations about the quality of your life together and the choices that you both are making now. Point out that it seems that you two want different things. Describe the life you are working to build for yourself. Ask him what he wants for the future. Tell him that his incessant pot smoking is an impediment to your future together. Ask if he is willing to curtail his smoking and expand his activities. Don’t give him an ultimatum. Share your vision of the future with him and your belief of what it takes to make that turn in the road ahead. Ask if he is willing and interested in walking that road with you.