DEAR HARRIETTE: After months of hard work, I’m finally happy and comfortable with my current weight. I’ve been documenting my fitness journey on Instagram. I’ve been receiving a ton of positive comments from strangers and acquaintances, but also some backhanded compliments from the people I happen to be the closest to. My aunt commented, “Keep it up!” under my latest post, where I showed a before and after transformation of my body. A friend of mine commented something similar. Am I right to be offended by these types of comments? I never expressed that I wanted to keep losing weight in my post, so why should they encourage that? -- Backhanded

DEAR BACKHANDED: I believe you are being too sensitive right now. It is true that exposing your vulnerabilities on social media -- as well as virtually anywhere else -- can be daunting. You want to share with people to be supported and create awareness, but you are left in a precarious position.

Your loved ones saying, “Keep it up!” is not rudeness, at least not at face value. I’m sure they thought they were being kind. It takes a lot to lose weight and maintain once you reach your goal. Furthermore, to be fit requires that you “keep it up” so that you don’t backslide -- even when you don’t feel like doing the work anymore. Give them the benefit of the doubt. My guess is that they were being 100% supportive. Assume that to be the case, and use their comments as rocket fuel to keep working on your vessel so that you can stay healthy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My kids go to a private school in our city. We saved all we could to get them there and received a bit of financial aid. Now that summer is here, they are noticing the differences between us and some of their friends. Many of their peers are off to Europe or some other fancy vacation destination. Some are at sleepaway camp. We can’t afford that. We do want to design a special summer for them, but what we normally do is go down South to visit family for the summer. The kids play with their cousins and get to see their grandmother. That has been their fun up until now. I want to keep up that tradition and somehow get them to see the value in that. How can I make that happen when they keep comparing themselves with their school friends? -- Summertime

DEAR SUMMERTIME: In order for your children to thrive in their new school, you must teach them to honor and value your way of living. No matter what their peers have or do, your children must be able to look at their own lives and smile because they recognize people, traditions and experiences that make them happy. Visiting the family is an age-old pastime that you should celebrate. As your kids spend time with family, help them to notice what’s special about their time together. It is a blessing to have a living grandmother. What can they learn from her? What do they do there that’s different from at home? Invite them to tell you stories of their experiences so that they will have harvested interesting things to share when they see their friends.

You can also take them on local adventures in your town. What are the sites and scenes that are specific to where you live that you may not have explored? Get creative and make memories with your children. The joy they draw upon when they share how they have spent their time may help them feel more comfortable around kids who have done more expensive things.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a new boss, and I feel like this is a new opportunity. For two years I worked with a woman who always talked over me and rarely listened. I stuck around because I liked the company and needed the job. I think if I share my ideas with my new boss and show her how much of an asset I can be to the business, she may begin to see me differently from how the old one did. My question is whether I should mention to her what didn’t work well with my previous boss. I don’t want to come off as a complainer, but she was horrible. What do I say if she asks me directly about her? -- New Boss

DEAR NEW BOSS: Focus on the positive and the opportunities before you with this new leader. Be sure to learn what her goals are. Listen carefully so that you are clear about her expectations and plans. Then let her know how you can support her ideas and share any pertinent insights you believe will be beneficial. Resist the urge to complain about your former boss. You can be vague in answering questions about her so that you do not lie, but make it clear that you look forward to working with this new leader and being an integral part of her team. As things come up over time, you can share limited details about your work experience with your previous boss when it is necessary to understand some part of your business. Otherwise, keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am dating a guy who is from another country. He is kind and interesting, and I really like him. My issue is that he has serious underarm odor. I don’t think he wears deodorant. Even though he appears to be clean, on a hot day I can hardly stand to be around him. I know this is a sensitive topic, but if we are ever to be intimate, I don’t know how I could stand it. What can I do or say? -- Pit Patrol

DEAR PIT PATROL: Many people around the world do not wear deodorant. Also, depending on what people eat, their bodies may smell differently. That said, if you want to build a close relationship with this man and his body odor is standing in the way, you will have to say something. Yes, it may feel awkward, but the best way is to just come out and tell him. Point out that in your culture, deodorant is commonplace, and you have noticed that he doesn't seem to use it. Tell him that sometimes he has a strong underarm odor that bothers you. Ask him if he would consider wearing deodorant or using powder or something else to freshen himself. He might be offended at first, but if he really wants to be with you, chances are, he will try to do something to make it easier for you to be in intimate environs with him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My guy friend knew that I was getting cheated on but didn't say anything to me about it. He never liked my ex-boyfriend. He warned me a few times that the man that I was with was not a good person, but he never gave me a specific reason as to why he felt that way, so I brushed it off. When I found out that I was being cheated on, my friend’s first response was, “I tried to tell you!”

He did not try to tell me, explicitly, that he knew I was being cheated on. He gave me vague reasons for disliking my ex-boyfriend and never elaborated. If he knew for a fact that my ex was cheating, he could have just said that. That’s completely different than just telling me that my boyfriend is “no good for me” and leaving it at that. My friend doesn’t understand why this is a problem. Am I right to be upset with him for this? -- Betrayed

DEAR BETRAYED: Unfortunately, even when friends tell each other outright about betrayal, it often falls on deaf ears. Your friend wasn’t wrong to be vague. He did tell you directly that he thought this man wasn’t good for you. It could have come off as hearsay if he said he thought the guy was cheating on you. Did he only think it was true, or was he certain? It’s tricky knowing how to handle a situation like this. Often, the person being cheated on is so caught up in the relationship that he or she wants to believe any story the cheater is selling.

Stop being mad at your friend. Your anger should be directed toward your ex.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A man I was casually dating took me to a dinner party and introduced me to a few of his friends. He runs in a completely different social circle than I do, so I was excited to meet so many new people. He had one friend in particular I really enjoyed talking to. We talked for at least half of the evening. That friend later found me on social media and asked me out to dinner. Would it be a bad look to go out with this man? I only know him because I was on a date with his friend. -- New Friend

DEAR NEW FRIEND: If you are no longer dating the other man, you are free to go out with whomever you choose. I recommend going on a date with this new person. If it seems like there may be something to it that you would like to explore, touch base with your other friend and tell him the truth. You met a guy at the party, and you have agreed to go out with him. Out of respect, you want to tell the man who brought you to the party where this occurred. You are interested in seeing where this is going. You do not need to tell the man who it was you met. That can be kept private, at least for now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)