DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a private high school that a lot of celebrity children attended. As an adult, I've stayed in contact with many of them and watched them turn into celebrities in their own right.

I've made friends with many noncelebrities over the years as well, including someone I met in college. When this good friend found out that I am friends with some celebrities, she suddenly became very eager to meet them. This definitely rubbed me the wrong way. I still want to be friends with this girl, but I don’t like the idea of her wanting to get close to my other friends solely because they are famous. Should I distance myself from this person? -- Crossing the Line

DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: We live in a celebrity-driven culture. It is normal that your “regular” friend would be intrigued by this other side of your life. What you need to do now is control her expectations. Tell her directly that you will not be introducing her to the people she wants to meet. Explain that you keep your friendships separate intentionally.

Stop talking about these other friends when you are with this person. If she continues to ask, that’s when you may need to create a bit of distance for a while, but it doesn’t have to last forever. Moreover, you need to remember that your life will be easier if you keep certain relationships private.

Navigating between two worlds is not always easy, but it is the life that you are living. Focus on creating authentic, honest relationships with whoever matters to you. Know what is expected of each friendship. Privacy is valued by your celebrity friends; perhaps intimacy by your others. When you feel like a friend can flow between the two, that’s when you introduce them. Only then.

DEAR HARRIETTE: The main issue that I have had over the years when choosing romantic partners and friends has been that I am a poor judge of character. Everyone around me can usually tell that someone is bad news before I can. I am blind to red flags when I really enjoy spending time with someone, and it has brought me so much heartbreak. What are some signs to look for in the future when choosing who I get close to? -- No Discernment

DEAR NO DISCERNMENT: Start by making a list of what you value in a relationship. What qualities matter to you? Be specific. The clearer you can get about behavior, attitudes and values that you would appreciate in a partner, the easier it will be for you to spot whether a person has those attributes. Specificity is key. For example, if you say you want someone to be “nice,” that’s not enough. Instead, you may want someone to be attentive, to call you daily, to inquire about your life, to care about your family and theirs. You may want someone who is proactive about doing things together, who engages with your other friends, who puts family at the top of the list, who likes to be social with you, who is neat, who treats their friends kindly in public and private. Make your detailed list and then observe potential partners to see how they measure up. Don’t go too far with anyone who doesn’t deserve it. Take your time to get to know a person. Only allow them into your intimate world when they deserve it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into my ex-boyfriend from college recently at an informal school reunion. It was awkward primarily because we had a horrible breakup. He was physically abusive to me, plus he was a cheater. I found out all of this at the end. Even after I discovered all of things he had done that were unforgivable, he still tried to get me to come back to him. It was disgusting.

When I saw him after all these years, the memories came flooding back. Then, as we chatted in a small group with other people, I learned that he has a daughter who would have been born soon after the time we were dating. I always knew he cheated, but here is living proof of all the lies he told me. He tried to create a way for us to get together to talk more as this event was ending. I stepped away. I don’t see how any good can come of us rehashing the past. He seemed eager to make amends. Should I make time to meet with him? -- Blast From the Past

DEAR BLAST FROM THE PAST: Do not feel required to reopen that door. Clearly, you were hurt deeply by this man’s behavior. You have no obligation to revisit the pain of your past. It is good that this man wants to make amends, but you do not have to allow him to force his confessional on you. Hopefully you did not share your contact information with him. If he finds you on social media, you can either block him or respond and tell him that you are not interested in engaging with him in any way, either now or in the future. And leave it at that. He does not deserve your embrace.

DEAR HARRIETTE: All of my friends are doing better than me. I had a child when I was very young and had to stop going to college for a few years. Eventually, I went back and got my degree and have a decent career, but my friends are doing amazing. They are all professionals making the big bucks. Some are married, and some have kids. All of them are thriving. Me, I’m barely scraping by. My son is doing amazing, though. He is much older than my friends’ kids. I put my everything into him, and I am so proud, but when it comes to me, I’m a work in progress. How do I get together with them and talk about my life without seeming like a failure? -- Missing the Mark

DEAR MISSING THE MARK: Stop comparing yourself to others. Everybody makes choices, including you. You are living by your choices today, and that’s fine. If you were to look deeply into your friends’ lives, you would be guaranteed to find a range of experiences, complications, triumphs and tragedies. That’s life. You may not have as much money as some of these people, but you have other things. Start counting your blessings. What are you grateful for? What brings you joy? Focus on those things now and when you are in your friends’ company.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an in-person event recently where I met some of my colleagues for the first time. We have been working together for more than a year, but primarily on Zoom. It was weird seeing each other in the flesh. Even the most well-meaning of the bunch kept making comments about how people looked, not having realized someone is so tall or so short.

In my case, nobody said it outright, but I know they were thinking they didn’t realize I was so big. I have a small head, but my body is round -- and I only got rounder during those two years of sitting around staring into a screen. I am very self-conscious about my size. The fact that people looked at me and didn’t say anything oddly made me feel more nervous. I already don’t feel comfortable in my skin. Being around them only made it worse. It looks like we'll be spending more time together. How can I get over my insecurities? -- Overweight

DEAR OVERWEIGHT: Please know that it is likely that most of your colleagues are dealing with their own insecurities about seeing one another for the first time. Being evaluated and judged based on how you look affects most people. Because we humans tend to be mainly focused on ourselves, trust that your colleagues are spending more time thinking about their own stuff than yours.

Next, instead of worrying about what they think about you, take care of yourself. What can you do today that can help you to be healthier and happier tomorrow? Stop obsessing about the condition you are currently in, and plan for your future. Add more water to your diet. Begin to move a little each day. Invigorate yourself toward self-care. Over time, you will begin to feel better, and you will worry less about what others think about you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband's job required us to relocate to a city where I don’t know anyone. I am incredibly lonely, and my only real friend in the city is my husband. He has cultivated some great relationships with his co-workers and has basically built a whole new circle of male friends out here, which has made me feel even lonelier. How do I stop being completely dependent on my husband for friendship during this time? I work remotely and don’t have the luxury of hanging out with co-workers outside of work. -- New City

DEAR NEW CITY: Remind yourself of extracurricular things you liked to do before the move. Then find them in your new city. Do you enjoy any hobbies? Join a club that does that, like a crafts group, creative writing group or book club. Visit a museum, attend a cooking class or go bowling. Find something that interests you that meets in person on a regular basis. It is important for you to find your own footing in your town and not be too clingy to your husband. It will take some effort for you to go out and do things, especially since you work from home. You can do it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)