DEAR HARRIETTE: A longtime -- but not necessarily close -- buddy of mine has struggled financially for the entire time that I’ve known her. This year, she told me that she is making it her mission to move out of our college town to a city where she can start fresh. She has decided to move to Los Angeles. She started a GoFundMe to fund her travel needs, security deposit, and first and last month's rent for an apartment in the city. She told me she doesn’t have a job lined up, but she believes she will be able to find something fairly quickly when she arrives.
I think it’s foolish of her to move to the most expensive city in America without a plan, and I also refuse to make a donation for her living arrangements. I myself can’t afford to live in Los Angeles, and I have a job. Am I wrong for not supporting this move? -- Be Realistic
DEAR BE REALISTIC: You have every right to invest your money as you choose. This decision sounds reckless based on your friend’s history. Rather than simply not contributing, you may want to speak to your friend. You can tell her what you think about her latest idea. Don’t simply shoot it down. Instead, remind her of how expensive it is to live in Los Angeles. Recommend that she take the time to secure a job before moving. Alternatively, you can suggest that she slow down and develop a strategy for her life rather than jumping up and moving so quickly.
It is likely that your friend will do whatever she wants, but as someone who cares for her, you can at least let her know what you believe is best for her. Then leave it alone.