DEAR HARRIETTE: I hired a young woman to work for me earlier this year. We mainly work via Zoom. We had an in-person meeting recently, which is when I discovered that she doesn’t understand professional dress. She came to a business dinner wearing a camisole (that looked like underwear) as her shirt. She was not wearing a bra, and her breasts were exposed. I have seen young people dress like that when they are going to the club, but it was inappropriate for a work event. I didn’t say anything because she was already there.

The next day, she did a similar thing during the day, again wearing something extremely low-cut for a breakfast meeting. I see young people dressing like this sometimes and get that it is a form of self-expression, but the workplace calls for more modesty. I feel like this is not being taught or reinforced these days, perhaps because quarantine meant that for two years people were not in-person at all. How do I address this without coming off as a prude or as one who is not inclusive of others’ styles? -- Professional Dress

DEAR PROFESSIONAL DRESS: Schedule a time to talk to your assistant. Let her know that after your in-person meetings, you realized that you had not previously talked about what you consider to be professional dress. You may want to do some research to prepare. Show her photos of what is traditionally considered professional attire at work -- and what is not. These images are easy to find on the internet. Point out that plunging necklines, exposed cleavage, short skirts and sheer clothes are inappropriate. Similarly, in many work environments, jeans and sneakers don’t work, but that’s really dependent on the culture of the organization.

Define your office culture for virtual engagements and in-person activities so that your employee is clear about your expectations.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I spent the past two years working hard to improve my credit score. Then I started getting into little fights with my husband over stupid stuff, including how little he participates in our household finances. This year, I have made a lot more than he has. I don’t know whether it was spite or what, but I have been spending money left and right, buying whatever I want. My credit score has gone down, and once again I am in debt. I am mad at myself, and it is all my fault. How can I dig out of this stupid hole again? -- No More Debt

DEAR NO MORE DEBT: It sounds like this is a pattern for you. If that’s the case, your best option may be to get credit counseling so that you can observe your spending behavior and work with a professional to help you modify your choices.

Put yourself on a budget right away. Outline your monthly financial responsibilities and your outstanding debts. Assess how much you owe and create a plan to pay down your debt. Look for the highest-interest items to pay off first. With discipline, you can improve your credit score, but it takes focus and patience. Learn how to face the issues that are troubling you without triggering unnecessary spending. Do not let your issues with your husband create an excuse for reckless spending. In the end, nobody wins with that approach. Focus on welcoming financial freedom.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a cousin who is getting up in age and who seems to be incredibly lonely. She calls me several times a week, obsessing over one thing or another. She is retired, and I am still working. I do not have time to listen to her endless worries about this or that, but I know that she needs a lifeline.

Though she is in her late 60s, I’m pretty sure she would be offended if I suggested that she go to adult daycare, but I think she needs something like that to help occupy her time. I love my cousin and want to support her, but I do not have the bandwidth to talk -- or listen to her drone on for hours on end about nothing. -- Helping My Cousin

DEAR HELPING MY COUSIN: Talk to your cousin about her interests and hobbies. What has she enjoyed doing in the past? Encourage her to take a class, enroll in an exercise program or get involved in her local community organization. Look up some fun activities in her neighborhood and suggest one of them when she starts droning on about one of her concerns.

Gently introduce the idea of senior-discounted activities like the exercise program Silver Sneakers or the local senior center. Over time, she may gain interest.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My good friend lost his father about a year ago. I did my best to be there for him when he needed to talk, but now I realize that was not even close to enough. I just lost my father, and I am devastated. I know it was a blessing to have him for so long. Many people lose their parents when they are young. Still, my dad was everything for me, and now he’s gone. Every day my heart aches.

A couple of friends reach out regularly to check on me. I don’t even know if I was that attentive to this particular friend, who is very important to me. I feel like I want to say something now and apologize for not understanding how much he may have needed me last year. Do you think it would be OK to say something? I understand now. -- Closing the Loop

DEAR CLOSING THE LOOP: You should reach out to your friend. Let him know that your father recently passed away and that his departure brought your thoughts back to him. Acknowledge that you had no idea how deeply the pain can reach with the loss of one’s parent. Tell your friend that while you hope you provided some solace for him during those early days of grief, you suspect that it wasn’t nearly enough. Apologize if you fell short for him.

Then ask him how he is doing now. Learn from him about his process. If he is open to talking, share about your experience as well. Just be mindful that even as you are grieving, you should not turn this moment into being all about you. Trust your gut and go slowly. If he is able to listen and participate in a conversation where you both share your experiences, thoughts and feelings, that is wonderful. If he can’t do that, make this moment one of acknowledgment, and move on to talk to others who have the emotional space to go through the grief process with you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a new assistant who is a recent college graduate. She is eager to do a good job and has a positive attitude, but she is messing up big-time. I give her clear instructions for her tasks, yet she keeps missing important details. When I point out her mistakes, she says she hears me, but so far, she continues to make the same errors.

I understand that working is different from going to class and applying knowledge to take a test, but she is in the real world now. I have been careful to explain each step of our process for the work that we do so that she can understand how and why we do certain things. I have written down the steps as well, but she consistently misses key steps in our process, costing us time and money.

How can I teach her better so that she can catch on? She’s a smart young woman, but her attention to detail is lacking. -- Pay Attention

DEAR PAY ATTENTION: If possible, write down all steps to the system that you want to be followed -- in even more detail. Encourage your employee to check off each step as she goes along so that she can begin to notice the cadence and level of detail at which she is expected to get her work done. Invite her to check in with you when she believes she has completed tasks so that you can double-check her work. Let her know this isn’t a punishment; it is a natural part of the onboarding process.

I practice a simple yet profound way of completing my work: Check. Double-check. Be clear. Be crystal clear. Translation: Check your work four times in detail to ensure that you haven’t missed anything. Encourage her to do that for even the simplest task. It will help her to learn to pay attention to detail.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a work event the other night by myself. I usually invite my husband, but he almost always says no these days. Anyhow, I went, and while there, I saw a man I recognize from our local business community. I said hello to him, and he was very complimentary. He was professional but also slightly flirty. He noticed what I was wearing and told me I looked nice. It was the simplest thing, but it stood out because my husband never compliments me anymore. I don’t even think he sees me. We are like old roommates who barely even grunt at each other. Realizing that made me sad.

I have no interest in getting involved with another man. I do, however, want to add some spice to my marriage. How do I get started? -- Mix It Up

DEAR MIX IT UP: Invite your husband to go with you on a date -- not to a work function. Suggest that you go out to dinner or to a cultural activity in your town. Invite him for a walk in a local park or a drive to see something you haven’t visited before. Be clear that you are inviting him out for a date. Make a big deal of it and see if you can entice him to join you. Create space during your date to talk and laugh and just have fun. Then do it again!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)