DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a new assistant who is a recent college graduate. She is eager to do a good job and has a positive attitude, but she is messing up big-time. I give her clear instructions for her tasks, yet she keeps missing important details. When I point out her mistakes, she says she hears me, but so far, she continues to make the same errors.

I understand that working is different from going to class and applying knowledge to take a test, but she is in the real world now. I have been careful to explain each step of our process for the work that we do so that she can understand how and why we do certain things. I have written down the steps as well, but she consistently misses key steps in our process, costing us time and money.

How can I teach her better so that she can catch on? She’s a smart young woman, but her attention to detail is lacking. -- Pay Attention

DEAR PAY ATTENTION: If possible, write down all steps to the system that you want to be followed -- in even more detail. Encourage your employee to check off each step as she goes along so that she can begin to notice the cadence and level of detail at which she is expected to get her work done. Invite her to check in with you when she believes she has completed tasks so that you can double-check her work. Let her know this isn’t a punishment; it is a natural part of the onboarding process.

I practice a simple yet profound way of completing my work: Check. Double-check. Be clear. Be crystal clear. Translation: Check your work four times in detail to ensure that you haven’t missed anything. Encourage her to do that for even the simplest task. It will help her to learn to pay attention to detail.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a work event the other night by myself. I usually invite my husband, but he almost always says no these days. Anyhow, I went, and while there, I saw a man I recognize from our local business community. I said hello to him, and he was very complimentary. He was professional but also slightly flirty. He noticed what I was wearing and told me I looked nice. It was the simplest thing, but it stood out because my husband never compliments me anymore. I don’t even think he sees me. We are like old roommates who barely even grunt at each other. Realizing that made me sad.

I have no interest in getting involved with another man. I do, however, want to add some spice to my marriage. How do I get started? -- Mix It Up

DEAR MIX IT UP: Invite your husband to go with you on a date -- not to a work function. Suggest that you go out to dinner or to a cultural activity in your town. Invite him for a walk in a local park or a drive to see something you haven’t visited before. Be clear that you are inviting him out for a date. Make a big deal of it and see if you can entice him to join you. Create space during your date to talk and laugh and just have fun. Then do it again!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a contentious relationship with the other most senior leader in my company. I know that the two of us need to get along in order for us to have harmony at work, but something about this guy rubs me the wrong way. His tone is abrasive. He is way too playful, and his timing is terrible. I am sensitive and somewhat serious. I like to focus on the work, and he likes to crack jokes. It’s almost like he’s stuck in high school or at the frat party. I know that I have to figure out a way to work with him because management likes him. It’s not working so well right now. -- Cringeworthy

DEAR CRINGEWORTHY: Decide that you can and will find a way to connect with this fellow leader. Talk directly with him about your different work styles, and admit that sometimes it is hard for you to get into a rhythm with him when he’s constantly joking around. Ask him if you two can establish regular meetings where you talk strategy for work. Request that you both allocate time together to discover a comfortable way to do your work and present a united front to the team. Then, whenever you do meet with him, approach the moment with a positive attitude.

Think about this person. What are his attributes? Why do you think he was hired for this job? What value does he bring to your company? What is good about him? I was taught to look at people and “See God in each other.” Apply that loving gaze to this man, and begin to notice ways to engage with him productively.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have taken on a lot more work so that I can pay for my son’s college. I am grateful for the opportunities, but I am getting exhausted -- and that has led to stupid mistakes. I am a detail-oriented person normally, but I have missed a few key responsibilities. I know that this is making the people I report to a bit skittish. On one hand, they know me and trust that I will do a good job. On the other, they see me slipping. How can I get into better alignment and keep up the new work schedule? -- Overworked

DEAR OVERWORKED: If you absolutely must juggle all of the work that you have added to your load, it’s time to step back, evaluate all of your responsibilities, and assign deadlines to each task. Write those deadlines on your calendar. Color code them if that will help you visualize the deadlines. Apply alarms, if necessary, so you don’t miss anything. Do this weekly, and check off your list every day to make sure you are updated properly. If you ever notice that you will not be able to meet a deadline, speak up immediately and let your supervisor know. It’s much better to sound an alarm before the disaster. That way, you will not expose the project to your vulnerability.

Also, build in time to exercise and eat well. It won’t work if you are just working around the clock. You have to take care of yourself, too.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an introverted woman who is dating a socialite. Surprisingly, we complement each other well. We hardly ever argue, and it seems we have an endless number of things in common. The only issue that I’m having is adjusting to his extroverted lifestyle. I get anxious being around large groups of people I don't know, and I have no clue how to be social with strangers.

Making public appearances is a huge part of his job, and he often asks me to accompany him. If I always say no to attending large gatherings with him, I will rarely see him. Should I just get over it and force myself to tag along? -- Dating a Socialite

DEAR DATING A SOCIALITE: You two need to strike a balance in your relationship. You agree to go to some of his many social events, and he agrees to spend more intimate time with you that involves fewer people. This won’t take away your anxiety around being in those crowds, but it will provide a carrot to get you to attend future engagements.

You may also want to join Toastmasters or a similar organization where you learn skills for public speaking and suggestions for how to overcome fear of being in large groups. I know many people who have participated in such programs with great success. You learn tools to push past social anxieties and claim a comfortable, confident place in public settings. Consider that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My company cellphone was stolen from me a few days ago. I reported it stolen immediately, and the company was able to get it replaced in no time at all. What I did not report to my supervisor was the fact that the phone had crucial company data on it and was NOT password protected. I am terrified that whoever has this phone will find the data and that there will be serious consequences. Keeping this to myself has been agonizing, but I cannot lose my job. What should I do? -- Stolen Phone

DEAR STOLEN PHONE: Hopefully your phone was a smartphone whose system was shut down remotely when you reported it stolen. There is a good chance that the data was either frozen or deleted remotely once you reported it stolen.

However, that doesn’t address your bigger issue. Even if it might cost you your job, for integrity’s sake you do need to speak to your employer. Ask about how to ensure that your new phone is safe. Find out what security protocols should be followed to protect confidential company information, and admit that you had not followed all of those protocols with your previous phone. Tell your supervisor that the stolen phone was not password protected and that there was some sensitive information on it. Apologize for being careless, and learn what to do now to ensure that you are in full alignment with company policy.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)