DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents are getting older. I try to stress the importance of spending time with them to my middle school-age kids, but I don’t think that they fully understand. It makes me so sad that my kids aren't spending a whole lot of time with their elderly grandparents. My father is in his 90s and has been sick for a while. How do I tell my kids that they need to spend time with their grandparents without sounding too harsh? I would hate for them to look back and regret not seeing them as often as they could. -- Aging Parents
DEAR AGING PARENTS: Build time into your children’s schedules to spend with your parents. Make it obligatory. Pick a frequency that works for their lives, perhaps once or twice a month, that they visit your parents. Your kids could even help your parents with chores or other small tasks. Get them excited about documenting family history. Suggest that they interview their grandparents about their past. They can ask them to tell stories about their lives when they were growing up, or about you as a child. Elders often enjoy talking. Your children can record the interviews if they want. They will treasure those recordings later.
You can also invite your parents over for dinner on a regular basis. Create a routine of engagement so that your children naturally participate in activities with their grandparents without being guilted into making time for them.