DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was growing up, kids used to tease me all the time about the way I looked. I was taller than most girls, skinny, flat-chested and awkward. I did not handle the criticism well. I was shy and felt uncomfortable making friends.

Fast-forward to today. I feel more normal in the way I look, but I’m still somewhat socially awkward. I haven’t thought so much about my early years, but I will soon go to my high school class reunion, and I am nervous. Just thinking about it takes me back to the mean girls who ridiculed me for four years. How can I stay strong and positive when I see them, especially if they go back to their old behaviors? -- Reliving the Past

DEAR RELIVING THE PAST: Step back and take stock of the woman you have become. What are your assets? What do you value about yourself? What do others say about you that is positive? Write these things down. Now look at yourself in the mirror. What are your positive physical attributes? What makes you comfortable about the way you look and present yourself? What makes you uncomfortable? Own it all, sit back and accept yourself for who you are.

Next, please know that reunions tend to stir up old stuff for everyone, not just you. The girls who were mean to you probably had other stuff going on in their lives that was disturbing to them. Instead of figuring out how to deal with that, they lashed out at you. Forgive them for their childish ways.

Also, know that many attendees will be uncomfortable in their skin because they look different now. Most people gain weight over the years. It looks good on some and is unhealthy on others. People will be judging one another on how they look and what they are doing in their lives.

You can decide not to get caught up in superficialities and attend the reunion with an attitude of optimism. You can choose to speak to people who look welcoming and talk about whatever the moment calls for. You can avoid incendiary conversations, including talking about stressful memories. You are in control of yourself. You can literally walk away if someone speaks to you inappropriately.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I do absolutely everything for my two young adult stepchildren. I’ve been in their lives since they were toddlers, and I love them dearly. While technically I do not have any biological children, I have always treated my stepchildren as my own. I'm very hurt that year after year, they do not wish me a happy Mother's Day or honor me in any way. I am not asking for much, just the acknowledgment that I have been like a mother to them for most of their lives. How do I move forward? -- Stepmother

DEAR STEPMOTHER: Have you ever told your stepchildren how you feel? I imagine that in the early years it may have felt awkward, but this is on you and your husband. You have to teach children what your traditions are and what you expect. Now that they are young adults, they will likely be shocked that you are sad about this omission since you haven’t discussed it before. But it’s not too late to tell them. Sit with them and remind them of how much you love them and consider them as yours, even though you didn’t give birth to them. Ask them to include you in their celebration of Mother's Day as their loving stepmother.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a man who has many more female friends than male. In the past, my friends have never been an issue for me -- or for anyone I've dated. I am currently in a relationship with someone who isn't very fond of the fact that I have so many female friends. I can't tell if her disdain for my friends is legitimate, or if I'm just dating someone who is too insecure for me. The irony is that I asked my female friends about this, and they agreed that they would be uncomfortable dating someone with so many friends of the opposite sex. What am I supposed to do? Should I distance myself from my friends in order to make this person more comfortable, or is this relationship destined to fail? -- Tough Decision

DEAR TOUGH DECISION: You have a couple of options here. For starters, invite your girlfriend to hang out with you and your friends, either in a group setting or in different curated moments when you create space where they can comfortably talk and get to know each other. Welcome your girlfriend into your friend group so that she feels accepted and unthreatened by them. Let her know that these are your close friends, and you want her to get to know them.

You may also want to evaluate your friendships to see who deserves to remain in your inner circle and who does not. Often, when people get in serious relationships, they turn away from some of their friends, especially those who are interested only in the single life and are not in sync with the life the new couple is building. Take stock of your friend inventory to evaluate who gets to stay and who has to go. If you want to give this relationship a chance to survive and thrive, talk to your girlfriend about all of this so that she knows your intentions and the actions you are taking to make her comfortable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My manager is usually very kind to me. I have started to notice a trend of her being less kind to me when our supervisors are around. When the supervisors come to our store, my manager will speak to me with a condescending tone. She will write me up for things that she wouldn’t usually write me up for and will even criticize the way that I work in front of everyone. I'm not sure why she does this. I don’t think it’s right, and I don’t think I deserve that. Should I confront her about this? -- Rude Manager

DEAR RUDE MANAGER: Request a meeting with your manager after the supervisors are gone. Tell her what you have noticed, how uncomfortable it makes you and how unfair it seems to be. Ask her if she has issues with your job performance, and if so, what they are. Ask her to teach you how to improve in whatever areas she mentions. Continue by asking her what you can do to support her when the supervisors come so that they are pleased with the visit. Suggest that if you make a plan together, it may be easier for everyone to be at ease.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents have traveled to be at two of my nephew’s graduations. When he graduated with his bachelor's degree years ago, they were front and center. When he graduated with his master’s degree this year, they were front and center. I don’t understand why they cannot do the same with my children. Both of my kids have graduated from their respective universities and grad schools, yet my parents were noticeably absent from all ceremonies. It is important to note that my nephew lives only a few miles away from my parents, and my parents would have had to get on a plane for my kids' graduations, but it still isn’t a great excuse to miss such momentous occasions in their lives. What could this be about? -- Absent Grandparents

DEAR ABSENT GRANDPARENTS: Have you invited your parents and talked to them about attending your children’s graduations? It sounds like you are grumbling about this in your head rather than being proactive and speaking to your parents about it.

You already know why they have gone to the local grandchild’s ceremonies. Getting on a plane for two people is expensive. Have you ever offered to pay for their flights, or possibly split the fare? My guess is that it is a big expense for them to travel to the event; therefore, they haven’t come. But if you haven’t talked about it and made it clear to them that you want them at the events, you really have no idea what's going on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: The man I’m dating sent the mother of his children flowers for Mother’s Day. We have been together for one full year. I’ve never had an issue with the mother of his children. I actually thought that it was healthy that he has a solid relationship with her. But for Mother’s Day, he sent her roses, and I’m not fully comfortable with that. He told me that this is something he’s done for years, and it doesn’t mean anything romantic. Is it wrong that I’m uncomfortable with this? Does this make me insecure? -- Flowers on Mother’s Day

DEAR FLOWERS ON MOTHER’S DAY: I think it’s fantastic that your guy sent his children’s mother flowers. It shows that he cares about her deeply -- as the mother of his children. Too often we hear of deadbeat dads who do not tend to their children and who have bitter relationships with their children’s mothers. This is not the case for your boyfriend. That’s refreshing. Know that this woman will always be in his life. That fact is something you will need to come to grips with. If you think you want to be in this relationship for the long haul, you need to figure out a peaceful way to have a relationship with her. She is part of the family. The fact that they have a healthy, positive relationship is excellent for the children -- and everyone else. Savor that, and figure out a way to avoid feeling jealous. Be at ease with her and the way he treats her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)