DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents have traveled to be at two of my nephew’s graduations. When he graduated with his bachelor's degree years ago, they were front and center. When he graduated with his master’s degree this year, they were front and center. I don’t understand why they cannot do the same with my children. Both of my kids have graduated from their respective universities and grad schools, yet my parents were noticeably absent from all ceremonies. It is important to note that my nephew lives only a few miles away from my parents, and my parents would have had to get on a plane for my kids' graduations, but it still isn’t a great excuse to miss such momentous occasions in their lives. What could this be about? -- Absent Grandparents
DEAR ABSENT GRANDPARENTS: Have you invited your parents and talked to them about attending your children’s graduations? It sounds like you are grumbling about this in your head rather than being proactive and speaking to your parents about it.
You already know why they have gone to the local grandchild’s ceremonies. Getting on a plane for two people is expensive. Have you ever offered to pay for their flights, or possibly split the fare? My guess is that it is a big expense for them to travel to the event; therefore, they haven’t come. But if you haven’t talked about it and made it clear to them that you want them at the events, you really have no idea what's going on.