DEAR HARRIETTE: My former best friend called me the other day and told me she needed to speak to me about something important. She hosts a popular podcast series and told me that her newest episode would be about our friendship and the reason we grew apart. She briefed me on what she said about me. (The show had already been recorded.) She said she wanted to give me a warning before it aired because she didn’t want me to be blindsided. I gave her my blessing.
I listened to the episode after it aired, and it was nothing like what she warned me it would be like. She made me out to be such a bad person. She didn’t mention my name, but it was so obviously about me. Should I tell her to take it down? Should I confront her? -- Take It Down
DEAR TAKE IT DOWN: Make this an opportunity to clear the air with this woman. Call her and tell her that you listened to the podcast, and you would like to get together and talk to her. Have a conversation with her about your friendship. Tell her that your recollection of what transpired between you is dramatically different from what she said about you. Describe your recollection of what occurred between you. Ask her if she remembers any of the details that you put forward.
Challenge the stories that you do not agree with that she shared in her podcast. Bring up specific stories and describe what you remember in comparison to what she said. Tell her that her portrayal of you does not seem accurate to you, and it makes you very uncomfortable. You can ask her to take it down. If you are up for it, you may want to suggest that the two of you talk about what happened on the podcast so that you can set the record straight.