DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a transgender educator. I am not visibly transgender, and my students refer to me with she/her pronouns, which I prefer. I was given the choice when I was hired whether or not to tell my students that I am transgender. I still have not decided. The kids are so young -- third grade -- and I don’t know whether or not their parents will have an issue with an openly trans teacher. Should I disclose the fact that I am trans to my students? -- Trans Teacher
DEAR TRANS TEACHER: The big question for you may be what is important for your students to know about you in order for you to be effective at doing your job. It is unlikely that your trans status has anything to do with that. I imagine that they need to know that you care about them, that they are safe in your company and that you can effectively teach them the subjects that are part of your curriculum.
I point this out because cisgender teachers do not typically feel pressed to reveal anything about their gender identity -- or their sexuality or relationship status, for that matter -- to their students. It is often by choice as they build closeness with their students that those aspects of their lives emerge. You may want to follow the natural course of engaging with them. Never lie. If they ask you questions about yourself and your life, answer in a manner that is appropriate to the listeners' ages. Do not hide who you are, but do not feel the need to wave a flag either. Be you. Let them get to know you as a person. Find comfort in that.