DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a teacher, and one of my student’s parents is constantly asking me on dates. I know that this is inappropriate, but I’m not exactly sure how to stop it. Nothing has crossed the line to where his advances have been creepy or vulgar. Also, I think that a part of me is flattered by the attention. How should I handle this? -- Flirty Parent

DEAR FLIRTY PARENT: Review your school’s handbook to clarify the policy on social interactions with parents. In some instances, it is written right in the manual that teachers are not allowed to date parents of students in the school. For other schools, the rules are less defined. If it is school policy, tell this man that you are forbidden from going out with students’ parents. Period.

If the rules are vague -- or even if it’s just your personal rule -- tell him that your code of conduct does not allow you to date parents. You appreciate his attention, but you want him to know that you will not be crossing that line with him. After you say that, ignore him. If you give him no energy around his overtures, eventually he should stop.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Once a year on her birthday, I have dinner with my best friend and her family. Every year, her family acts like they barely remember me. I’ve seen them every year for the past six years, and they always treat me like a stranger. My friend says not to take it so personally, but I can’t help but feel insulted. I have no idea why they act this way or whether it’s really an act. What should I do? -- Not a Stranger

DEAR NOT A STRANGER: Talk to your friend a bit more about this situation. You say that you are best friends. Press her to say more about her family. Remind her of how close you two are and how weird it feels that her parents are oblivious to you and your importance in their daughter’s life. Tell her that this hurts your feelings and makes you uncomfortable. Ask her to talk to you about them and about her life as she was growing up. Learn some context about her family -- anything that may help you better understand the dynamic.

Your friend is right in one respect. Most people think about themselves more than others, which means you probably shouldn’t take their snubs personally. It could be that they are focused on something entirely different than you. It could be that they have a short list of people they think of as close friends of their daughter, and you aren't on it. It could be that so many people come for the birthday that, in their eyes, you blend in. Who knows? Find out by talking to your friend and really pushing her to tell you the truth.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I think that my friend keeps lying about having COVID-19. Since April 2020, my friend has claimed to have contracted COVID-19 about five different times. I don’t see how this is possible, especially since I have not contracted the virus once. I think that she does this to avoid spending time with me. Would it be wrong to confront her about this? I don’t have any evidence that she’s lying other than the unlikelihood of catching COVID-19 so many times. -- Suspicious

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: First of all, it is possible for your friend to have contracted COVID-19 multiple times. Is she a front-line worker? By the way, that can mean a lot of different things -- basically that she is required to be out and about in the close company of other people on a daily basis. Is she vaccinated? Does she follow COVID-19 protocols? Some people do not believe in wearing masks. Even at the height of the pandemic, some people did not keep their distance from others, either by necessity or by choice. The bottom line is that your friend could have contracted the virus more than once. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that people definitely can get COVID-19 even after having been infected previously.

Rather than accusing her of lying about her health, why not tell her that you are sorry that she seems to have the worst luck when it comes to contracting this illness, and you wonder if there’s something more going on. Ask her if she is avoiding you. Tell her that you feel like she doesn’t want to see you, and if that is true, you want to know why. Be direct but kind.

Another reality during this extended period of isolation is that people have reassessed their lives and who they choose to see. She could have taken you off of her list of close friends, or, even more likely, she could be among the many thousands of people who have gained a lot of weight. Being physically self-conscious has kept many people in hibernation. Who knows? You can ask your friend, or you can simply express your sorrow at not seeing her for so long and implore her to meet you in person soon.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I have to speak in front of a large group of people, I get extremely nervous. I never anticipate how nervous I will be beforehand; it always surprises me. The other day, I spoke at an event where I was required to hold a microphone, and my hands were visibly shaking. Any tips for a nervous public speaker? -- Nervous Speaker

DEAR NERVOUS SPEAKER: There are a few things that can help you a lot. First, remember to breathe. Take three deep breaths before entering the space where you will be speaking. Remind yourself that you are prepared. You know what you are going to say and have rehearsed it enough to be confident. When you walk onto the stage, look out at the audience. Make eye contact with a few people -- the ones you notice who are looking at you and smiling. Creating a direct connection to a few key people will help you to feel less alone. Plant your feet firmly before you begin to speak. Offer the moment up to service.

Finally, remind yourself that everybody gathered wants you to do well. This is true. Think about it. They chose to attend this event. Because they are there, they selfishly want it to be worth their while, which means that their energy will be supportive. Your audience wants you to win. Stand confident in that knowledge, and go for it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a Black literature teacher at a high school. One of my non-Black students wrote a short story about racism and included the N-word. He used the full word. I told him that his use of the word was inappropriate, but I didn’t mark him down.

I told my fellow Black teachers about my student’s use of the N-word, and they told me that I should’ve penalized him. I think that my student had good intentions and meant to write an educational piece, but the delivery was wrong. Should I have penalized him? -- Conflicted Teacher

DEAR CONFLICTED TEACHER: Does your school have a clear policy on what language can or cannot be used in school, and more specifically, in classwork? I ask because you want to make sure that your students follow school protocols.

I do not think that you should have penalized your student unless that’s the rule. Instead, read the story to analyze the plotline is and the gist of the story. Challenge your student on his use of that word and any other hot-button words in his story. Ask if there are any other words that could better describe what he was getting at. Push him to be creative and to reach further in his use of language. Use this opportunity to expand your student’s mind and get him to think differently instead of shutting him down or triggering him to dig in his heels on this type of language because you either embarrassed him or backed him into a corner. In other words, teach him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My stepson accused me of hitting him. He is 7 years old and often tells little white lies. He recently told my husband (his biological father) that I hit him, which I would never do! I’m feeling so many things, but mostly I’m feeling hurt and angry. His father doesn’t believe him, thankfully, but I am trying very hard not to harbor any anger toward my stepson. Am I right to feel this way? Should I let it go? -- Stepparent

DEAR STEPPARENT: Step back and assess the situation. Your stepson is calling out for attention. He may also be trying to figure out a way to get his parents back together. You must build your own relationship with him so that he will eventually begin to see you as family rather than as a threat or as someone who is standing between his parents.

Most important is for you and your partner to be on the same page. As long as you two are a united front, you can work on softening up this 7-year-old and showing him that everything is going to be all right. Resist the urge to lash out and accuse him of lying. Instead, you can ask him why he would say something like that. Ask him to remind you of what happened, and listen to see what he has to say. You can even apologize to him for making him feel he needs to make up a story like that. Find out what will make him feel safe, protected and loved. Then do your best to offer those things to him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)