DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister is angry with me because I told her she shouldn’t be a model. My sister has wanted to be a model ever since she was little. The other day she was presented with an opportunity to walk in a local fashion show, but she turned it down because of the type of clothing the models were asked to wear. She said that she would never wear a swimsuit, pose in her underwear or wear certain form-fitting clothes because she wouldn’t feel comfortable. I told her that if she has all these stipulations about what she’s asked to wear, then maybe she should look at another career. This offended her deeply, and I’m not sure why. It is common sense that if you want to be a fashion model, you should keep a pretty open mind about the clothes you wear. Was I wrong? -- Common Sense

DEAR COMMON SENSE: You were not wrong, and you don’t need to do or say anything else. Your sister is going to have to reconcile her fantasies about becoming a model with the realities of the business. If she continues to put herself out there for auditions, she will likely discover that most jobs require flexibility. They want models to be fit and ready to wear all sorts of clothing, including swimwear. Of course, a model can draw the line if clothing becomes too risque, but generally speaking, the expectation is that the model is prepared to wear virtually anything. 

An exception could be the arena of commercials, where castings tend to be focused on selling particular products. Casting agencies often look for characters to play certain roles rather than models to showcase their fashions. 

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am bisexual, but I do not want to tell anyone because it's nobody’s business except for my romantic partner’s. I find the whole concept of having to "come out" unnecessary and uncomfortable. It is nobody’s concern who I choose to have a relationship with. If anyone is curious enough to ask me, I will tell them, but I am not making a big event out of disclosing my sexual preferences to the people in my life. Am I taking the wrong approach? -- Not Coming Out

DEAR NOT COMING OUT: You have every right to share your sexual preferences when and with whom you choose. It is nobody’s business. Really. Heterosexual people do not typically walk around declaring the gender of the person they are interested in. Indeed, talking about one’s romantic pursuits is not a topic of conversation everyone wants to discuss, regardless of sexual identity. You should feel comfortable revealing your truth when you feel like it. 

When it would be wise to share is if you begin a relationship with someone. Ideally, it’s good to disclose at least the key details of your dating history -- including sexual identity -- in the early days of an intimate relationship. By being upfront and honest, you allow your potential partner to have a window into your world to see if it seems like they will be comfortable being with you, and vice versa. Talking about your life and sharing specifics about who you are can make a huge difference in building trust from the beginning.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m an Indian American man who has only dated white women. I recently met an amazing Indian American woman I have become very close to. She has only dated white men in the past, so we both can relate to not dating within our own race. After becoming so close to each other, we’ve decided to move forward into a relationship. Everything is great except for the physical chemistry. I cannot bring myself to be intimate with her because I feel like I’m kissing a family member, and I get completely turned off. How do I move past this feeling? -- Kissing My Aunt

DEAR KISSING MY AUNT: It could be that you simply are not physically attracted to this particular woman, or you may have unconsciously trained yourself to think of people of your own culture as family members, not potential partners. Since you truly like this woman, why not talk to her about it? Yes, it will start off awkwardly, but at least you will be able to address it. Tell her how much you like her and want to see if you can give the relationship a chance. Admit that you see her more as a family member -- an auntie even -- than as a lover. Ask her what she is feeling. Have an honest conversation. You have nothing to lose by disclosing your innermost thoughts about each other. Talking it through will help you to see if it’s worth attempting to cross the romantic line. If you both remain true to yourselves and kind to each other, you will be able to remain friends even if a romance doesn’t blossom.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just recently started dating an extremely sensitive man. He’s a great guy, but I am not sure that I have the patience to deal with how sensitive he is. I feel horrible for feeling this way, but I can’t ignore how annoying it can be at times. I have a busy schedule, and if I do not talk to him several times a day, he becomes depressed. I’ve been nice about it, but I don’t know how much more I can take. How can I confront him about this? Or do I need to try to be more sensitive to his needs? -- Too Sensitive

DEAR TOO SENSITIVE: You are in the early stages of a relationship. Consider this the discovery period. No, you should not have to accommodate this man’s overbearing neediness. If he does it now, he will do it later. Talk to him about your life and your schedule. Show him what a typical day looks like and what is reasonable to expect in terms of interacting with you. Do not agree to engage him more than is possible. If he cannot accept that, you have a problem. You should not feel guilty for being yourself and needing to follow your schedule.

For relationships to work, both partners have to be aware of each other’s lives and rhythms. Of course, it’s nice to make accommodations when you can, but that does not mean you have to completely overhaul your life to appease his sensitivities. Tell him what you can and cannot do. If he can’t live with that, the writing’s on the wall. Do not acquiesce. It’s easier to leave a relationship in the early days than to stay and have to extricate yourself later.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Whenever a member of my family has an issue with my younger brother, they will complain directly to me. It’s almost as if they think I have control over his actions. My brother is irresponsible and has little concern for anyone other than himself, so it is pretty hard to go to bat for him. He has done all kinds of things to offend our parents, cousins, aunts and uncles. It’s disgusting to everybody but him. And I just cannot be his go-between. What can I say to make them stop doing this? -- Annoyed With Complaints

DEAR ANNOYED WITH COMPLAINTS: Stop taking the bait. When your family members start in about your brother, put a halt to the conversation. Literally. Interrupt them and state that if they have issues with your brother, they will have to speak to him. Acknowledge their frustration and worry. Tell them that you empathize with them. You, too, wish your brother would behave differently. But he is his own person. You have no control over him or his actions. You have made the effort to encourage him to make different choices, and nothing has worked. State that your brother has to live his own life and eventually be responsible for his actions. You cannot and will not do that for him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel that working from home has drained all of my energy. Some days I don’t even feel like going outside after sitting in front of a computer screen all day. The fatigue is so bad that it lasts well into my weekends. How can I feel more energized while working from home? -- Drained From Remote Job

DEAR DRAINED FROM REMOTE JOB: The past two years have been especially difficult. For people who are accustomed to going to a shared work environment, being isolated at home staring into a computer screen for eight to 12 hours a day has sometimes been unbearable. And the end is not necessarily near for everyone. The hybrid work environment may be an option for some, but not all.

What can you do if you are “stuck” working from home? Adopt a different attitude. Be grateful for the work and the opportunity to work in a safe space -- your home. Start your day in motion. Get up early enough to do some form of exercise. Simple stretching can work. Better yet, take a walk in your neighborhood. Invite a friend to be a workout buddy. Spend 30 minutes each day doing something that gets your blood flowing.

Then, set alarms for standing up every hour. Build out a schedule that includes breaks throughout the day. They can be as short as 10 minutes, but give yourself time to stand up, walk around and even go outside for a few minutes. It’s amazing how many people literally have gone days and weeks at a time without going outside their door.

Plan weekend activities that force you to leave the house. It could be as simple as going to the grocery store. Better yet -- choose a destination. Go to a museum. Go to the movies. Go visit a friend. Get up and go! Once you are out and about, your energy will lift. The challenge is getting started. If you make the plan in advance, it can feel easier because you will simply be getting up and executing your plan. You can do it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)