DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I hang out with my friend, he leaves random things in my car. A month ago, it was his glasses, and today he told me left his hat in my car. I never saw it because it was in my back seat, which is odd because he was never in my back seat. I don’t want to return his hat because I think he’s doing it on purpose so that he’ll have an excuse to hang out again. If he wanted to hang out, he could just say that. I don’t appreciate being tricked. Should I say something about this? -- Feeling Tricked

DEAR FEELING TRICKED: Think about your friend. Is he shy? Does he seem timid around you at all? Could he secretly like you and be uncomfortable about expressing that?

More important: Do you like him? Is there any potential for sparks from your perspective? If so, you can playfully ask him why he keeps leaving stuff in your car. You can confront him about it with a pleasant, inviting approach.

If you are not interested in him, you can confront him more sharply. Ask him directly why he keeps leaving stuff in your car. Tell him he can get his hat whenever you see each other again, but right now you are busy. If you head off the reconnection, it will show your friend that his strategy is not working.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend thought that she could do better than the job that I wanted to recommend her for. She told me that she wanted to explore her options before settling on the company where I work. A few weeks passed, and she was starting to get a little more desperate on her job search, so she asked if I would still be able to recommend her for the position. It was too late when she changed her mind. My company had selected someone else I recommended for the position. My friend has been ignoring me ever since. It isn’t my fault that she chose not to take the offer. Did I do something wrong? Does she have a right to be mad at me? -- Not My Fault

DEAR NOT MY FAULT: You did the right thing, and your friend ignored your connection and your kindness to her own detriment. She is feeling bad about her decision and, either consciously or unconsciously, is trying to shift the blame to you. Do not accept it. She is wrong.

Further, be wary of her in the future. Your reputation is everything. You nearly recommended her once, but she did not respond in a timely manner. Think twice about recommending her in the future. Do not allow her bad attitude today to influence your professional decisions. You did nothing wrong. She has no right to be mad at you. She is actually mad at herself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I don’t want to live with my boyfriend yet. We’ve been together for a year, and he’s been asking me over and over again when we can start looking at places together. I’ve never had the chance to live on my own, and I’m very excited about being able to do it in the near future. I don’t want to live with anyone. He feels that if we don’t live together, we aren’t progressing in our relationship. What should I do? -- Ready To Live Alone

DEAR READY TO LIVE ALONE: Here’s where my old-school self steps in. You should not feel pressured by your boyfriend to live together. It is smart for you to live by yourself, establish your own life and get to know who you are as an independent person -- independent of your parents and your boyfriend. That doesn’t mean that you choose to look outside your relationship -- not at all. It means that you fully embody yourself as a young, independent person.

This can be hard for a partner to accept, especially if he is eager to take your relationship to a deeper level. But living together is not the same as getting married. Have you had that conversation? Even then, I recommend waiting and establishing yourself independently first. What you two can do now is talk about the long term. What do you want for your future? What do you imagine your future to be with each other? What goals can you set that will get you there? This is important for both of you, but especially for him right now so that he doesn’t feel you are abandoning him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 30 years old, and I’ve never successfully saved any money long-term. I’ve tried time and time again to keep money in my savings account, but I always end up using it for unforeseen expenses. I don’t make a lot of money to start with, but I have friends who have somehow saved a lot of money. I don‘t know what’s wrong with me. How can I successfully build my savings account? -- No Savings

DEAR NO SAVINGS: The good news is that you are realizing this when you are only 30. Sadly, I have talked to many people who are at retirement age who are crying the same song and are worried sick because they see that they may never be able to retire. You have plenty of time to get your finances in order if you start now.

One of the simplest things you can do is to have money deposited from your paycheck into an account before you even get it. Instead of putting it in an easily accessible savings account, choose a different financial instrument like a Roth IRA. Talk to a financial adviser at your bank or credit union and get advice on the best ways to start saving today. For more ideas on savings, go to: americasaves.org/resource-center/insights/54-ways-to-save-money.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am so mad right now. I have been super-careful every day since the coronavirus pandemic started. For more than a year, I didn’t go outside except to go to the grocery store and the doctor. Only in the past few months have I relaxed at all. I still wear a mask even as I have started back at the gym. I take my mask off only when eating or drinking, and I still keep my distance even then. And what do I get for it? COVID-19.

I am so angry and so scared. I have preexisting conditions, which is why I was so cautious. I feel so sick and worried. My doctor says there’s not much I can do but ride it out. I am fully vaccinated and boosted, but so what? I feel like a failure and like maybe I have put loved ones at risk. I’ve told the few people that I have been around. What else can I do? -- Positive

DEAR POSITIVE: COVID-19 has been spiking all over the country and around the world. The omicron variant is said to be drastically more contagious than other variants of this illness. Give yourself a break. It sounds like you have been extremely cautious. I am so sorry that you are ill.

Be sure to get plenty of rest and stay in touch with your doctor. The going wisdom that I have seen thus far is that we should go back to wearing N95 or KN95 masks now to help protect ourselves. A year ago, my doctor told me that we are all going to have to learn how to live with COVID-19. He was too right. Do your best to stop beating yourself up. Like it or not, you and thousands of others are going through the exact same thing right now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started a new job, and I am having a bit of difficulty acclimating to working remotely in this new position. For starters, my company is midsized, but it seems huge when I am meeting people via Zoom. It is hard to remember who is who and to build a rapport with people when everything is formal and distant. I was thinking it could be a good idea to organize a virtual cocktail hour after work one day to get to know each other. I don’t want to be presumptuous though, as the “new kid.” How should I handle this? -- Social Organizer

DEAR SOCIAL ORGANIZER: I like your idea. Take it to your boss and inquire as to whether they like it, too -- as a team event. It could play out in different ways. Inviting the whole team that you work with directly could work, or perhaps a subset. If you choose a small group and build from there, you may not even need to involve your boss. The other thing you can do is pick a person once a week to invite for virtual coffee during the day or a virtual drink in the evening. This way you can get to know people one on one.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)