DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend does not believe in shaving her armpit hair, and it’s starting to become an issue. She believes that shaving armpit hair is unnatural and conformist. She didn’t have these beliefs when we first started dating, so I feel that it’s unfair for her to expect me to have no problem with it now. I’m afraid to ask her to shave because I don’t want to seem like I do not support this journey (although I do find it questionable). What can I do? -- Girlfriend Going Natural
DEAR GIRLFRIEND GOING NATURAL: If you and your girlfriend stay together long enough, there will be other times where you disagree. Usually, these things resolve over time. Either you grow to accept the change, or you make decisions based on how to move forward over time.
In this case, make it clear to your girlfriend how you feel about her underarm hair. Figure out why you feel the way you do, and express that to her. If it is purely aesthetics, you may ask her not to wear sleeveless tops. If she takes offense to your request, let her know why you are reacting so strongly. Do you find her to be less attractive? Can you try to look past the hair and look at the woman you love as a whole person?
One thing is certain: In a long-term relationship, the way you both look will change. That includes hairstyles, body shape and size, and even body hair. If possible, be patient and allow this moment to pass. You will see what comes of the underarm hair after your girlfriend goes through her own evolution on this topic.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)