DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend is talking about marriage way too soon in our relationship. We’ve only been dating for five months. We are having a great time together -- that’s true. But everything is still new, and she already jokes about the engagement ring she wants. I am sure the jokes are just jokes, but I feel that with every joke there is some truth. She is 30 years old, so I imagine her biological clock is ticking, as people say. But I am not ready to get married or have kids. Should I tell her that she’s moving a little too fast for me? -- Too Soon
DEAR TOO SOON: In a word, yes. Talk to your girlfriend and tell her that you are enjoying getting to know her and building a life with her, but you are not even close to thinking about marriage. You should evaluate what you do think about marriage and when you might want to go down that road. She deserves to know your thoughts on the subject.
Ask her what her ideal timeline would be. Yes, you will need to have a real conversation with her about the future. This is true even if in your heart you still want to have fun for a few years and keep things light. Whatever is true for you, she deserves to know -- and vice versa. Five months is long enough to have a sense of whether or not you are compatible and think you want to get more serious. Be honest about where you think you are headed. There’s nothing wrong with you two having different timelines, goals and dreams, but you must know what they are so that you can figure out if you should be together at this time.