DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an event the other day -- for the first time in nearly two years -- and I saw some people I know there. One friend posted pictures from the event on social media. She included several shots of me that simply are not flattering. She caught me in one shot where my butt is up in the air. I think I was leaning down to pick something up off the floor. In another shot, I’m eating food and you can see me chewing. And in another, I just don’t look good. I can’t imagine why she would have chosen these shots. All the pictures of her look great. I’m thinking she didn’t look closely at the ones of me. I want to ask her to take down my pictures. Do you think that’s going too far? -- No More Photos

DEAR NO MORE PHOTOS: We live in a social media world, and that sometimes -- or often -- means that people are snapping photos of you and posting them without your permission. If you are in a public place, technically people can take pictures of you and everybody else who is there. You may not have a legal leg to stand on here.

But you didn’t ask that. Of course you should reach out to your friend. Tell her how nice it was to see her at the event. You can reminisce about whatever stood out for you during the gathering. Then pivot and tell her you saw the photos she posted on social. Directly tell her that you do not think that the photos she posted of you are flattering. Tell her what you do not like about them, and ask her to take them down. If she has other photos that are more flattering, perhaps she can replace the photos in question with those, or simply exclude you from the posting. Be clear and strong with your request, but know that she may not comply.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend’s dog died, and she is devastated. She is a single woman in her late 40s. Most of her friends have kids. She had her dog. She has decided to host a funeral for the dog. I think that’s a bit extreme, but it’s what she wants to do. She and I are pretty close, but I don’t know how I feel about this. Do you think I should go to the funeral? -- Doggy Service

DEAR DOGGY SERVICE: You are right. Some people think of their pets as their children. Losing them can be a deeply sorrowful experience, and hosting a service to honor them has proven to be helpful for some pet owners. You don’t have to understand your friend’s motivations in order to support her.

I recommend going to the funeral. Be there for your friend. Let her know that you care about her and that you are sorry that she is in mourning. Be reverent and respectful, even if you don’t quite understand the gravity of her pain. That’s what good friends do.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got into a pretty explosive fight with my friend last weekend. We made up almost immediately, but today she told me that she told her other friends about our argument. She told me that these other friends advised her to end our friendship. I’m offended that she took our issues to other people. Her friends are not necessarily my friends, and I feel that they took this opportunity to badmouth me. How should I handle this? -- Not My Friends

DEAR NOT MY FRIENDS: When bad things happen, people often go to others to discuss. You can’t fault your friend for confiding in these people. Clearly, she needed to talk about it.

Step back a moment and think about the situation. What actually happened? What did you say to each other, and what was your role in the fight? Do you feel like you crossed a line? Whatever your part was in the argument, apologize for it. Tell your friend exactly how you feel about what you said or did and how sincere you are about regretting it. Then add that you know that if the two of you decide you can move beyond the explosion and forgive each other, your friendship will be OK. Tell her you understand that she needs to talk about it, but you hope that she will not allow her other friends’ opinions to sever your ties.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My older sister has been unemployed for a while. We used to go out and have dinner together, shop, see movies, etc. before she lost her job. Nowadays, if I want to go and do things with her, I’ll have to pay for her, and that gets old. I can’t even invite her to come out with my friends unless I pay for her. Is it fair that I stop inviting her out because she can’t pay? I feel bad, but I’m not sure what else to do. -- Tired of Spotting Her

DEAR TIRED OF SPOTTING HER: Losing one’s job can be devastating on many fronts, including your social life. It is wonderful that you have been able to spot your sister as much as you have over this period, and understandable that you cannot do this indefinitely.

For now, what you may want to do is invite her less frequently to go on your various outings, but don’t exclude her entirely. Invite her to do things that have little or no cost, like coming over to your house to visit. If you cook at home, the cost is much lower than dining out, for example. Or have her over to watch a movie or just hang.

You can even talk to her about it. Be upfront. Remind her of how much you do enjoy spending time with her, but, for now, you need to do it differently. Tell her you love her and know how tough this time has been for her. You want to help her in any way you can, but you cannot pay for everything. You can also encourage her to continue her job search and help with that as much as possible.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I introduced two of my closest friends a few months ago. I was absolutely thrilled with how much they liked each other and how well everything was going. I thought it would be so nice to be able to regularly hang out with both of them at the same time. This morning I found out that the two of them have been hanging out without me and talking pretty regularly. I didn’t know that they were hanging out -- they have never once invited me out with them. I’m pretty upset about this. I have no problem with their growing friendship, but why do I have to be excluded? Am I right to be upset? -- Left Out

DEAR LEFT OUT: Friendships can be complicated. Too often that happens with friends of three, because it is common for two to connect more closely than all three as a unit. Yes, you can tell your friends that you are happy that they like each other -- as you knew they would -- but that it saddens you that they have excluded you from the covenant. Suggest that the three of you do something together sometimes.

Beyond that, there’s little you can do. You cannot force them to involve you in their regular conversations or get-togethers. You do not want to come off as desperate or jealous -- that will not attract them to you. It is natural for your feelings to be hurt given what you have just learned. But you are going to have to accept that this is how things are unfolding right now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-boyfriend started dating a girl he knew through me. I don’t have any feelings for him whatsoever, but I don’t see a reason to be cordial with either of them. The girl insists on commenting on my Facebook pictures and leaving me nice messages. What is the most polite way to tell her that I want her to back off? -- Not My Friend

DEAR NOT MY FRIEND: Being cordial is a sign of basic respect. I think it’s fine to be a gracious, cordial person. What you do not have to be is a friend to either of them.

Love relationships are so often difficult to navigate -- especially after the fact. Some friends set rules around who can date whom. If you are close, the unwritten rule is that you don’t date your friend’s ex. If you just were friendly, the lines are not so clear. Sounds like you aren’t mad that they are dating; more, you don’t want to be a party to it at all. That’s fair.

She may feel uncomfortable that she’s dating your ex and is overcompensating for it by her sugary social media stalking. You can ignore her, unfriend her, block her or talk to her directly and ask her to back off. If you talk to her, don’t be mean. Be direct. It’s fine that she’s dating your ex, but you do not want to be a part of their lives. Ask her to stop engaging you on social.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)