DEAR HARRIETTE: Is it normal to find yourself becoming increasingly irritated by your significant other? My girlfriend gets on my nerves more than usual these days. What could be the reason? Could this be a sign that we need to break up? -- Always Annoyed
DEAR ALWAYS ANNOYED: Whenever you notice that you are pointing your finger at others a lot, it’s a good time to pause and turn your attention toward yourself. Ask yourself: What is my role in this moment? What have I done to create the agitation and irritation that I am experiencing? What can I do to change it?
Focusing on yourself should help you to notice what is going on in your life that may be affecting your relationship. Are you under a lot of stress? Did anything occur between the two of you that upset you that hasn’t been addressed?
Think about your interactions of late. What has been different? What have you observed about your significant other’s life and stressors? What surrounding circumstances may have led to this heightened irritability?
When you feel like you have some sense of what’s going on, approach your girlfriend. State your feelings and how you are uncomfortable and often annoyed. Describe how you find yourself reacting to her in recent days. Ask her what’s going on in her life and how she feels about your relationship. Do your best to get an open conversation going where you can get to the bottom of things. Often, outside circumstances can lead to inner challenges. Before you say goodbye, agree to go deeper to figure out what’s going on and come up with a solution together.