DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends genuinely feel that because they do not like my boyfriend, I should consider leaving him. My boyfriend is great to me, but my friends question where he is going in his career. I sometimes question his career path as well, but we’ve been dating for only a few months, and I’ve seen major strides from him. How do I tell my friends to stop imposing their opinions on me when I’m perfectly happy? -- Stay Out of It
DEAR STAY OUT OF IT: You have not said what your boyfriend’s career is. Unless it is unsavory or illegal, it shouldn’t be a dealbreaker at this point in your relationship. People dwell too much on how others make a living. That doesn’t mean that striving for a career that will bring you joy and wealth isn’t something to plan for, but not everyone has those goals. It is wiser to choose a partner who is responsible and understands that he has to be able to take care of himself. Even more, you likely want a partner who is thinking in the longer term about being able to help care for a partner and family. If your boyfriend is only living for the moment, you need to know that. If it’s too soon to tell, enjoy the ride for now. But eventually you will need to talk values and vision for the future. I say this because I don’t recommend building a relationship with someone who does not share your values.
As far as your friends’ opinions go, let them know you appreciate that they want to have your back. Assure them that you are OK and tell them it is not helpful for them to keep casting their judgments on your relationship. Things are still new and developing. If you see any red flags, you will be sure to take note.