DEAR HARRIETTE: My grandmother was living in my family’s guest house until a few months ago, when she decided to move in with her sister. She asked my younger sister to stay in the house and take care of it for her until she got back. My sister now lives in the guest house full-time and does whatever she wants. My grandma and younger sister are very close, but I always thought I’d be the one to move into the guest house because I’m older. My parents always said that if Grandma ever moved out, it would make sense for me to get the guest house. I’m in no position to move out of the house on my own, but I feel that I’m more deserving of having my own space. What should I do? -- Grandma’s Guest House
DEAR GRANDMA’S GUEST HOUSE: The question today is, whose guest house is it? If it belongs to your parents, they get to make the decision as to who lives there. Since they already told you it would be yours when your grandmother moved, appeal to them to let you move in now. Of course, your sister will be disappointed if she has to move back into the main house, but that’s life.
Your parents may want to check in with your grandmother first to find out when she intends to move back into the guest house. If she is coming back soon, it may be more disruptive than necessary for you and your younger sister to play musical chairs with it. But if her stay is indefinite or for several more months, it makes sense for them to honor their promise to you.
This will surely be a tense transition, as your sister will not want to move out. Ask your parents to have your back on this. It will likely be awkward for them, since they allowed her to move in even though they had originally promised it to you. If you want it, you may have to fight for it. Do your best to lobby for the space without being rude to your sister, your grandmother or your parents.