DEAR HARRIETTE: Summer is here, which means it's bathing suit season. I’ve always struggled with my body image. I grew up overweight, so I got used to hiding my body in sweatshirts and sweatpants. But now with the heat, my old tricks won’t work, and I am forced to confront one of my biggest fears: my body.

When I think of putting on a swimsuit, I feel like I am putting all my insecurities on display for the world to see. I normally would just avoid all situations where I would have to wear a bathing suit, but my friend recently moved into a house with a pool. She keeps inviting me and my friends over to swim. By not going, I feel left out. I just am not comfortable wearing a bathing suit. What should I do? -- Swimsuit Season

DEAR SWIMSUIT SEASON: For starters, there are all kinds of swimsuits. I feel confident that you can find one that is flattering to your figure. There are tankinis with tops that can be somewhat loose-fitting, matched with all kinds of bottoms, including athletic shorts. Look online for options in your size. There are more choices today than ever. When you find a suit that fits you well, it will give you more confidence.

Next, jump in the water when you get to your friend’s. You don’t have to sit around tanning. Be the girl in the pool. You can splash around, cool off and draw less attention to your body.

When you are out of the pool, you don’t have to wear a swimsuit. Plenty of people go to pool parties and wear street clothes. T-shirts and shorts work fine when you don’t plan to take a dip.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am working on starting a podcast targeted specifically to STEM majors. The podcast began as an extra credit project for school, but all my friends and peers suggested taking the show public. I’ve prerecorded the first few episodes with my co-host, who is also a STEM major. My non-STEM friends are begging me to interview them as well. How do I tell them that they can’t be on my show unless they are in the same field of study? I don't want them to feel left out, and I don’t want them to feel like I don’t value them. -- Aerospace Engineer

DEAR AEROSPACE ENGINEER: Thank your friends for their support of your podcast. Invite them to take a listen so that they get a sense of what you are doing. Feel free to tell them that, at least for now as you are developing your podcast, that the type of guest you are looking to interview is someone specifically interested in science, technology, engineering and math. Be sure to acknowledge that this doesn’t mean that other areas of interest aren’t good. It just means that your show's focus is limited to these categories.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like my good friend continually inconveniences me. She has no regard for my time. She has a ton of other friends she could bother to do favors for her, yet she seems to ask only me. If I don't do these favors for her, she'll give me attitude for days. I don't like feeling taken advantage of. Should I say something about this? -- Ask Someone Else

DEAR ASK SOMEONE ELSE: Stop jumping when she asks you to do something. Be willing to endure her attitude when you draw the line and create boundaries for yourself. Also, talk to your friend. You should definitely tell her that you are beginning to feel like she is taking advantage of your kindness. Give her concrete examples of what you mean. Explain that you are happy to help her out sometimes, but she is constantly asking you for favors, and it’s just too much. If she pushes back and says something like, “That’s what friends are for. Are you saying you don’t want to be my friend anymore?” counter with the point that being a friend is a reciprocal experience. Right now, this is pretty one-sided, with her asking you for favors and you fulfilling them.

In the end, your behavior will determine what happens next. You do not have to do everything this friend requests, so stop. If she stops acting like your friend, that means she wasn’t a true friend anyway. 

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went on a mini vacation with three of my best friends. The vacation started out very relaxing, but soon one of our friends began to drink too heavily and needed to be babysat. This same friend continued to be the drunkest out of all of us throughout the course of the trip. None of us talked about the problem while we were together, but I feel like I should mention it now. Should I talk to her about her drinking? It's possible that she behaved like that because she was finally able to let her hair down after quarantine, but she was still completely out of control. -- Concerned

DEAR CONCERNED: You should have said something to this woman on your trip, but now will do. Sit down with her and ask her how she is doing. Tell her how worried you and your other friends were during your vacation because of her constant intoxication. Describe a few of the uncomfortable moments that occurred during your trip and what you and your friends had to do to care for her. Remind her how much you love her and that you are not judging her. Moreover, you want her to know that you think she needs some help. You believe she is developing a drinking problem. Ask her what she thinks. Do your best to get her to talk to you. Ask what’s going on in her life that may be prompting her to drink too much. Find out if she even realizes this is happening. As one of her best friends, let her know you have her back and that pointing out this behavior is how you are supporting her right now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Senior year is approaching, which means my school is about to get extra-cliquey. All the fun senior traditions like Halloween and prom are heavily rooted in social groups. Unfortunately, I don’t exactly have a definitive friend group. During lunch, I wander from table to table talking with whomever I happen to see. None of my friends seem to get along with one another, so I don’t think there’s any chance of me forming my own group. Plus, all of last year and part of the year before, we were at home, unable to meet up in whatever groups we had. Everything feels awkward now as I think about going back to school. I don’t want to feel left out or sad when it comes to these events. What should I do? -- High School Cliques

DEAR HIGH SCHOOL CLIQUES: Many students are feeling awkward about what the next school year is going to be like. Social life is important in school, and many students have missed out on more than a year of being in one another’s company. Chances are, some of the previous cliques will have disbanded as other friend groups have emerged.

Rather than focusing on who ends up where, set your sights on your intentions. What do you want to have happen in your senior year? Which events do you want to attend? With whom would you like to attend them? Pick a couple of teens you think are friendly and not part of any previously set clique. Start spending time with them. Do your best to build a bond with them now so that you naturally feel an affinity toward each other. Talk about the social activities early on to get a sense of whether they have interest in attending. Suggest that you go together. 

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends always want to go out to a restaurant or go clothes shopping at the mall. My dad recently lost his job at the bank, and I don’t have that kind of money right now. On one hand, I think my friends would understand if I told them I couldn’t afford to spend so much money, but I also don’t want them to know my family is struggling financially. The last thing I want is pity. Do I tell my friends or keep my family’s troubles to myself? -- Scared and Alone

DEAR SCARED AND ALONE: Is there anyone in your friend group with whom you can confide? I agree that you may not want to broadcast your family’s situation to the whole group, but it would help if you had someone who could be your confidant. Do your best to pick someone who will keep your secret.

Know, however, that there is no shame in a family dealing with reality. Thousands of Americans lost their jobs during the pandemic, and many have yet to recover precious income that will support their households. If your friends do find out, they should be supportive, but we can never be certain of how others will act.

You can go shopping with your friends and enjoy the experience without spending money. My mother used to call it window shopping. Sometimes we would literally just enjoy the fashion through the glass. Other times, we would go in and try things on. Sometimes we would make small purchases. You can look, try on and put back. That can be fun in and of itself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)