DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like my good friend continually inconveniences me. She has no regard for my time. She has a ton of other friends she could bother to do favors for her, yet she seems to ask only me. If I don't do these favors for her, she'll give me attitude for days. I don't like feeling taken advantage of. Should I say something about this? -- Ask Someone Else
DEAR ASK SOMEONE ELSE: Stop jumping when she asks you to do something. Be willing to endure her attitude when you draw the line and create boundaries for yourself. Also, talk to your friend. You should definitely tell her that you are beginning to feel like she is taking advantage of your kindness. Give her concrete examples of what you mean. Explain that you are happy to help her out sometimes, but she is constantly asking you for favors, and it’s just too much. If she pushes back and says something like, “That’s what friends are for. Are you saying you don’t want to be my friend anymore?” counter with the point that being a friend is a reciprocal experience. Right now, this is pretty one-sided, with her asking you for favors and you fulfilling them.
In the end, your behavior will determine what happens next. You do not have to do everything this friend requests, so stop. If she stops acting like your friend, that means she wasn’t a true friend anyway.