DEAR HARRIETTE: The other day, I got written up at work. I saw it coming, so it didn’t really surprise me that much. I know I haven't been performing very well at this new position, but I have no idea why, and it's been discouraging. I feel like I’m at risk of losing my job, and I don't know how to deal with it. I've been doing my best -- but recently my best doesn't seem to be enough. Should I quit and start over with another employer or stick it out? -- Sick of Work

DEAR SICK OF WORK: This period has been stressful for many people. Perhaps your difficulty at work is about more than the job. Look around at your world. What’s going on? What do you feel is working well? What is difficult? Your housing? Your family situation? Your finances? Your health? Take a moment to think seriously about your life and what needs to change. Then, consider what you can do to make your life better.

I do not recommend leaving a job to find another. Being without employment in the middle of the pandemic may turn out to be even more challenging than what you are experiencing now. Instead, talk to your boss and ask what they can recommend for you to do better. Ask for specifics. Acknowledge that you know you haven’t been at the top of your game and that you want to do better. With guidance, you may be able to improve.

If you want to do something else, continue to improve your behavior and attitude at work as you begin to look for new jobs. You will want and need a recommendation from this employer, so do your best.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-girlfriend contacted me recently. The only reason we broke up was because I cannot trust her discernment in most issues in life. However, if she managed to change the way she deals with certain issues, I would be willing to give it another chance. It’s only been a few months since our split. Am I unrealistic for expecting her to have changed in a major way since then? -- Not Over It

DEAR NOT OVER IT: You are asking for something from your ex-girlfriend that, quite frankly, is unreasonable. You said that you “cannot trust her discernment in most issues in life.” That is a huge thing to declare. For you to wish that in a few months your ex somehow has cultivated a new level of judgment is unrealistic.

You have to decide if you can accept her for who she is, questionable discernment and all. If you cannot, let her go. You will only be torturing yourself and her if you get back together with the hope that she can be or become something that she is not. My mother often says, “To know her is to know that.” She has said this over the years when I have wanted someone to behave differently than what they have shown their behavior to be. Open your eyes, my dear, and be willing to see your ex for who she is.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got my nails done a few weeks ago, and now I’ve developed a staph infection. I went back to the same salon, and they swore that it wasn't their fault. I've gone to the doctor several times since and received multiple steroid and antibacterial treatments. My doctors told me that this type of infection always comes from nail salons. This is the only nail salon that I visit. I love the people who work there, but I feel like I need to take some type of legal action. On Yelp, a few other people have complained that they had similar issues. What should I do? -- Infected

DEAR INFECTED: First, I hope that your doctors can cure this infection. Staph infections can be aggressive and very hard to eliminate. Document everything. Take pictures to show the progression of the infection and ask your doctors to put their diagnoses in writing.

Next, contact a lawyer to discuss your options. It may be that your lawyer can reach out to the salon to secure a settlement where your medical bills are fully covered. You may also want to sue the salon, though that can be expensive and time-consuming.

You can also write your own review on Yelp describing what happened to you and warning other would-be customers.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My two best friends have been arguing about a vacation spot. My friend who makes a lot of money wants to go to an all-inclusive resort. My other friend, who doesn't make as much money, wants to go somewhere local and inexpensive. I'm caught in the middle. I want all of us to be together, and I do not want to take sides. My more affluent friend has offered to pay for my poorer friend, but she is refusing. What do you think a good compromise would be? -- Spring Break

DEAR SPRING BREAK: Whether you like it or not, you are the tiebreaker. Talk it out with your friends to come to a compromise everyone will accept. Start with yourself. Be honest: Where would you like to go? If you prefer the all-inclusive, encourage your less affluent friend to reconsider that location. If you think the friend offering to pay is truly doing so with no strings attached, point that out. Then work on the compromise that while on vacation, you all go check out the local scene for food and fun. Sometimes people choose to go local not just for the cost savings, but also for the experience.

A downside of staying at an all-inclusive is that you never have to leave the premises. Instead, the food, drink, entertainment and “culture” are imported in, and guests are treated to a schedule of activities without ever having to leave. Often, these venues are luxurious locations that are secluded from the local community. While that can feel safe and welcoming, it is also less genuine. This may be what makes your friend uncomfortable.

A reasonable compromise could be to stay at the all-inclusive and go on excursions to visit local cultural points of interest. All three of you should agree to participate in the outside events as well.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family’s COVID stimulus money is running out, and the bills are starting to add up. Playing Division I sports is the only way I can stay in school because I cannot afford tuition. I’m on a sports scholarship. My problem is that all of my time goes to practice, training and traveling for games, so I cannot get a job. Should I sacrifice my scholarship by getting a job? -- College Athlete

DEAR COLLEGE ATHLETE: Ideally, you should finish school. The gift of a full scholarship is valuable. If you can figure out how to hold on to it and complete your studies, that would be best. Talk to the financial aid office to find out if there are any work-study jobs on campus. In some instances, you can even do your homework while on the job. If your sports responsibilities give you any flexibility, this may be an option. You may also want to take out a loan. Yes, you will have to pay it back, but college tuition loans offer a very low rate for repayment. In this way, you can finish school and then get a job. Talk to your school's loan officer and review all of your options before you step away from college. Good luck.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It's taking me longer than the average person to get my master’s degree. I've had to work several jobs throughout school just to make ends meet. Recently, I applied for a job that I did not think I would get; I ended up being offered the job a few days later. It has amazing benefits and a great salary, but it’s a full-time position, so there's no way that I'd be able to complete my master’s while working. Should I give up on my master’s and start this new job? There is no guarantee that I'll get this kind of opportunity again. -- Graduate Student

DEAR GRADUATE STUDENT: Many graduate students have found themselves in your exact position. It can be hard, but it is possible to complete your degree and work full-time. Yes, it may take longer, but it can happen. Talk to your school about putting your education on pause for a year. In that way, you can get acclimated to your job. Find out if you can take night or weekend classes to finish the curriculum. If your current school does not comfortably allow redesigning your schedule, you may want to transfer to complete your education at another university. Carve out a time to write your thesis during weekends and scheduled breaks.

Research your new employer's policy on continuing education. In many businesses, this is encouraged. In fact, some businesses actually support their employees in their advanced education pursuits after they have proven themselves on the job. That support can come in the way of time off, and sometimes companies actually pay for your classes.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)