DEAR READERS: I want to take a moment to talk to you directly about the things that have been going on in our world for the past year. Many of us have been quarantined due to the COVID-19 pandemic, only now being able to move about freely. The year been fraught with challenges. Because the world shut down, many of our jobs evaporated. Countless businesses -- especially the small businesses that are the backbone of our country -- did not survive. Many more continue to limp along in hopes that soon they will experience a full comeback.

The murder of George Floyd by a police officer compelled thousands of people across our country and throughout the world to take to the streets to protest violence against Black people. In response to this growing awareness of the need to look at each other differently and figure out ways to be more respectful and conscious about how we engage others, a nationwide introspection began in families, businesses and communities. Rather than the focus on this tragedy lasting for one news cycle, it has lasted for an entire year, and many have taken action. Corporations have donated millions of dollars to protecting and uplifting Black, brown, Asian, LGBTQ and other underrepresented people as they have also looked to strengthen their business practices from the lens of diversity, equity and inclusion.

And then there was one of the most contentious elections in American history that nearly tore our citizenry down the middle, gutting much of the trust that had already been eroding over recent years. That historic election followed by the insurrection on Jan. 6 and the murders of innocent Asian women two months later, only to be exacerbated by a spate of mass murders week by week for nearly two months and counting, has sent our country reeling.

We are in crisis today on so many levels. Surely we are experiencing moral, political, economic, philosophical and racial emergencies. This is a historic time. Because we have been paused, we have started to collectively think a little harder about where we are and what it all means.

This year we began to ask ourselves, “Who are we?,” “What do we value?” and “Do we care about our fellow man and woman?” Further contemplation of how we can be fully engaged members of humanity rather than individuals standing in our separate corners rallying for our own rights to the exclusion of others has caused fiery dialogue and calls for action.

And then there was the trial of Derek Chauvin for the murder of George Floyd, in which Chauvin was found guilty of murdering Floyd. Many were shocked; it is rare for police officers to be held accountable for these behaviors. As President Biden, Vice President Harris and so many others have said, we have to do more. Our country desperately needs reform on so many levels. We need to choose to create systems and checks and balances that will support every member of our national family -- that will make it more likely that we will SEE each other, HEAR each other and choose to RESPECT each other, especially in those tender, challenging moments.

Now is a time for us to come together, to figure out ways forward that allow us to disagree and still care about each other. I wish we could all take an empathy pill and open our eyes to a new understanding of the importance of each individual in our world. What we can do is consciously choose to be thoughtful, kind, inclusive and fair in all of our interactions. As we reenter our beautiful world, let’s do so with a renewed commitment to love each other and look for the greatness that connects us all. It is possible. Let’s do it -- together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hate my boyfriend’s facial hair. I think his beard is way too long, but he refuses to cut it. I’ve told him so many times that I feel much more attracted to him when his beard is short and well-groomed, but he doesn’t care. I am not attracted to him with his super-long beard. He seems to care about the beard more than he cares about my opinion. What do I do? My disdain for his beard is starting to affect our relationship in all aspects. -- Shave It

DEAR SHAVE IT: I understand your opinion -- and his. Let me ask you something: Is there anything about the way that you present yourself that your boyfriend doesn’t like? Have you adjusted anything in your style to accommodate him? If you can strike a common-ground conversation with him where you point out something that you have compromised on for his pleasure, that may get him to open his eyes.

But it also may be that this is a time for you to exercise patience. Give him space to enjoy his full beard -- which is also a trend right now. If you really are repulsed by it, keep your distance. Your boyfriend will likely notice that you are acting differently around him. Being less romantic may alert him that it’s time for him to make an adjustment. Time will tell.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in a long-distance relationship. I live in Arizona, and my boyfriend lives in Maryland. We decided that I would fly out to visit him next month. He and I made a deal that I would buy my plane ticket and he would pay for my hotel room. I booked my flight right away, but he has yet to book my room. I know that he can afford it, so money is not an issue. My problem is his hesitation. I literally booked my flight the same day that we had the conversation, and now it’s been a week since we’ve talked about it and he hasn’t booked my hotel. Should I cancel my trip? If he wanted to see me that badly, he would’ve booked the hotel the same day. The later he waits, the more expensive it’s going to get. -- Book the Room

DEAR BOOK THE ROOM: Calm down. The fact that he didn’t book the room on the same day is not a dealbreaker. Instead of freaking out, remind him that it would be wise to book the room soon to get the best rate. As travel is opening up, everything is going up in price -- from flights to hotels to car rentals. If he hesitates, ask him why. Rather than imagining the worst, find out what’s going on. Also, let him know that you need the peace of mind of knowing that everything is set. I imagine you haven’t traveled in a long time due to COVID-19, and he needs to understand you want everything to be in place now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was in a virtual meeting at my job the other day, and someone made a racist comment about a fellow co-worker who was not on the call. I was shocked that this person made the comment, but it was almost worse that nobody said anything about it. I didn’t speak up either. I am in a junior position and was afraid that if I said something, my job might be in jeopardy. But I’m still mad about it. A few people have been texting about it, but that isn’t going to change anything. Do you think I should say something to my boss? He didn’t make the statement, but he has the power to address the situation. I want to be an ally, but I don’t really know how. -- Becoming an Ally

DEAR BECOMING AN ALLY: Too often, when people make rude, racist or misogynistic statements in front of others, those assembled freeze or otherwise fail to acknowledge what was said. That is considered being a bystander in a situation where allyship is needed. People need to build the courage to speak up. Otherwise, no lessons will be learned, and hurtful statements will continue to be made. Sometimes the moment calls for people to stand in harm’s way in order to bring light to a wrong.

It is not too late for you to act. Yes, speak to your boss and revisit what happened. Ask your boss if he thinks it was wrong and if he would address it. If the answer is no, go to human resources and report the situation. If you have a diversity, equity and inclusion office, you can also report this incident there.

If you have a relationship with the offender, you can also speak directly to that person and share that what was said offended you and that you hope they will not say such things again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'd like to find ways to be less critical of myself. It seems that lately all I do is think of the ways that I’m inadequate. I’m constantly comparing myself to my peers and co-workers, and I recognize that that’s a problem. I’m not sure how to solve this. I fear that I’ve been doing it subconsciously for so many years that it’s ingrained into my personality. What should I do? -- Self-Critic

DEAR SELF-CRITIC: Now is a perfect time for you to start creating a formal list of your attributes. What are you good at? What are your accomplishments -- over time and this week? Count little victories as well as larger ones. Some of the best successes, by the way, come out of problem-solving. So think about what you have been able to overcome. Write it all down. Decide that you will look at yourself in the mirror every single day and profess your love to yourself. Say, “I love you just the way you are!” Say it with joy and resonance. Even on days when you are feeling low, stand in front of that mirror and call forth your personal greatness.

When you start doubting yourself, go back to the mirror and point out every great thing that you see. Even if you start out critical, look hard until you see something to celebrate. It could be the twinkle in your eye, the curl of your hair. Find something. You can do it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)