DEAR HARRIETTE: I hate my boyfriend’s facial hair. I think his beard is way too long, but he refuses to cut it. I’ve told him so many times that I feel much more attracted to him when his beard is short and well-groomed, but he doesn’t care. I am not attracted to him with his super-long beard. He seems to care about the beard more than he cares about my opinion. What do I do? My disdain for his beard is starting to affect our relationship in all aspects. -- Shave It

DEAR SHAVE IT: I understand your opinion -- and his. Let me ask you something: Is there anything about the way that you present yourself that your boyfriend doesn’t like? Have you adjusted anything in your style to accommodate him? If you can strike a common-ground conversation with him where you point out something that you have compromised on for his pleasure, that may get him to open his eyes.

But it also may be that this is a time for you to exercise patience. Give him space to enjoy his full beard -- which is also a trend right now. If you really are repulsed by it, keep your distance. Your boyfriend will likely notice that you are acting differently around him. Being less romantic may alert him that it’s time for him to make an adjustment. Time will tell.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in a long-distance relationship. I live in Arizona, and my boyfriend lives in Maryland. We decided that I would fly out to visit him next month. He and I made a deal that I would buy my plane ticket and he would pay for my hotel room. I booked my flight right away, but he has yet to book my room. I know that he can afford it, so money is not an issue. My problem is his hesitation. I literally booked my flight the same day that we had the conversation, and now it’s been a week since we’ve talked about it and he hasn’t booked my hotel. Should I cancel my trip? If he wanted to see me that badly, he would’ve booked the hotel the same day. The later he waits, the more expensive it’s going to get. -- Book the Room

DEAR BOOK THE ROOM: Calm down. The fact that he didn’t book the room on the same day is not a dealbreaker. Instead of freaking out, remind him that it would be wise to book the room soon to get the best rate. As travel is opening up, everything is going up in price -- from flights to hotels to car rentals. If he hesitates, ask him why. Rather than imagining the worst, find out what’s going on. Also, let him know that you need the peace of mind of knowing that everything is set. I imagine you haven’t traveled in a long time due to COVID-19, and he needs to understand you want everything to be in place now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was in a virtual meeting at my job the other day, and someone made a racist comment about a fellow co-worker who was not on the call. I was shocked that this person made the comment, but it was almost worse that nobody said anything about it. I didn’t speak up either. I am in a junior position and was afraid that if I said something, my job might be in jeopardy. But I’m still mad about it. A few people have been texting about it, but that isn’t going to change anything. Do you think I should say something to my boss? He didn’t make the statement, but he has the power to address the situation. I want to be an ally, but I don’t really know how. -- Becoming an Ally

DEAR BECOMING AN ALLY: Too often, when people make rude, racist or misogynistic statements in front of others, those assembled freeze or otherwise fail to acknowledge what was said. That is considered being a bystander in a situation where allyship is needed. People need to build the courage to speak up. Otherwise, no lessons will be learned, and hurtful statements will continue to be made. Sometimes the moment calls for people to stand in harm’s way in order to bring light to a wrong.

It is not too late for you to act. Yes, speak to your boss and revisit what happened. Ask your boss if he thinks it was wrong and if he would address it. If the answer is no, go to human resources and report the situation. If you have a diversity, equity and inclusion office, you can also report this incident there.

If you have a relationship with the offender, you can also speak directly to that person and share that what was said offended you and that you hope they will not say such things again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'd like to find ways to be less critical of myself. It seems that lately all I do is think of the ways that I’m inadequate. I’m constantly comparing myself to my peers and co-workers, and I recognize that that’s a problem. I’m not sure how to solve this. I fear that I’ve been doing it subconsciously for so many years that it’s ingrained into my personality. What should I do? -- Self-Critic

DEAR SELF-CRITIC: Now is a perfect time for you to start creating a formal list of your attributes. What are you good at? What are your accomplishments -- over time and this week? Count little victories as well as larger ones. Some of the best successes, by the way, come out of problem-solving. So think about what you have been able to overcome. Write it all down. Decide that you will look at yourself in the mirror every single day and profess your love to yourself. Say, “I love you just the way you are!” Say it with joy and resonance. Even on days when you are feeling low, stand in front of that mirror and call forth your personal greatness.

When you start doubting yourself, go back to the mirror and point out every great thing that you see. Even if you start out critical, look hard until you see something to celebrate. It could be the twinkle in your eye, the curl of your hair. Find something. You can do it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been waiting for months to go visit my family. We live in different states, and the rules have been so strict around COVID-19 that we have not been able to see one another. Now that my husband and I are fully vaccinated, we want to make the trip -- especially because we have elderly family members we haven’t seen for far too long. I work from home, so it’s no issue for me when we get back. My husband has to go into an office for his job. We just learned that some family members have not been vaccinated yet. How can we be sure that we won’t have to quarantine for two weeks when we return? -- Taking a Trip

DEAR TAKING A TRIP: The good news is that many states are beginning to lift their travel restrictions as more and more people get vaccinated. What you must do is check the restrictions that are in place for your state and wherever you are traveling. Also, there may be specific rules for traveling by plane or public transportation versus your own vehicle. This article may help: bit.ly/3uWXP3j.

Continue to follow CDC health protocols even though you are vaccinated, including wearing a mask when around your family if they haven’t been vaccinated. I would wear a mask around your elders, even if they have been vaccinated, out of an abundance of caution; wash your hands constantly; keep your distance. As the experts say, we are not out of the woods yet, so be vigilant. But it’s wonderful that you will get to see your family.

DEAR HARRIETTE: So many people have invited me to get together with them. They are calling these gatherings vaccination parties. I totally get it. I want to see my friends, too. But I’m still skittish. I am fully vaccinated now, but I have seen reports of people who are fully vaccinated getting COVID-19. I even heard of a seemingly healthy man who died of it after he got the vaccine. I don’t want to risk it. How can I not seem like a scaredy-cat? My friends keep calling. -- Afraid to Party

DEAR AFRAID TO PARTY: Being cautious is smart in my book. But it is also important to stay informed. The rules against being with other people have relaxed significantly since vaccinations have started. Guidelines suggest that you can gather in small groups with other vaccinated people without wearing masks and without being 6 feet apart. But medium and large in-person gatherings are not recommended. Find out how many people are supposed to be part of the gatherings in question. Confirm that only vaccinated people will be in attendance. Make your decision on a case-by-case basis.

Here are the clearly delineated guidelines from the CDC for vaccinated people: bit.ly/32euvsv.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)