DEAR HARRIETTE: I started talking to a guy during quarantine, and now he wants to take me out. We got close -- from a distance -- over this past year. We even had phone sex. It was fun, given the circumstances. I feel safe with him, or as safe as you can when you haven’t physically spent time together.

Because we have established intimacy on the phone and over Zoom, I think he is going to want to actually be physically close soon. I’m scared to death in part because actual intimacy is something I haven’t had in a whole year, and also because even though I feel like I know him, this also feels really new. How can I talk to him about this so that things don’t get awkward? I am nowhere close to ready to have actual sex with him, but I do want to get together. -- Real Life

DEAR REAL LIFE: Be honest with him. Acknowledge how much fun you have had this past year, getting to know him virtually. Tell him that you are excited about getting together with him in person. Admit, though, that you are a bit nervous. Developing a virtual relationship feels different from cultivating a bond in person. Admit that you are concerned about taking things too fast. Tell him that you want to take it slow and get to know each other in person. You may not have to mention sex at all. If you think it’s necessary, tell him that you don’t want to be intimate with him yet. You want to wait until it feels right.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and I have been friends for almost 25 years. We managed to stay close when I went away to college, but when I returned, I realized that our relationship has not been as fruitful. When we hang out, I don't feel valued; I feel insignificant, like my concerns, emotions and ideas are unimportant, and that her issues are somehow worse and her views are more important. I'm feeling so burdened and irritated. How can I break up with my friend? -- Outgrowing Friends

DEAR OUTGROWING FRIENDS: Before you walk away from this lifelong friendship, speak up. Tell your friend that you want to get together to have a heart-to-heart. Be open and honest with her. Explain that you are not feeling valued in your friendship. Give her examples of how you two talk and how she seems to focus on herself to the exclusion of you. Be very specific when you illustrate what hurts your feelings or irritates you. It sounds like she is not a good listener and that she is self-centered. Do your best to outline what you want in your friendship. Make clear points about what would make you happy to get from her.

There is a good chance that your friend doesn’t realize that this is what she is doing. Give her a chance to change her ways. If she does not or cannot change, you don’t necessarily have to break up with her. You can simply spend less time with her. You can be less available to engage, get together or talk.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was glued to the TV for the past four years because of how volatile things were in Washington, D.C. Frankly, I am exhausted by all of that, and I do not have the energy to focus on the new administration the way I did the last one. I worry that I am making a mistake. I know that there are issues that I should be paying attention to, and I will be mad if things go wrong and I didn’t say anything, but I am just plain tired. I do not think that Biden has all the answers, and Congress is still pretty messed up. How can I continue to be vigilant part-time? -- No More Politics

DEAR NO MORE POLITICS: You are not alone. Many people on all sides have been hypervigilant over the past few years, worrying nonstop about our country’s future. The good news there is that people were paying attention, but we do still need that focus from everyday citizens. You may want to focus differently. Do not watch the news every night; many programs are designed to get you riled up. Instead, read the newspaper. Do your best to look at more than one source, though, so that you can at least attempt to get honest context. Pay attention to the political analysts that you trust to learn their perspective on the issues of the day. That can include think tanks and other organizations that evaluate policy. You can also choose certain days when you will not pay attention to the news at all. The world will still be there in the morning.

Seek balance in your life. In this way, you can savor each day -- and pay attention to how our world works. When appropriate, you can make your voice heard without being consumed by politics every day.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a recent college graduate, and for the past couple of months, I have been trying to talk to this guy who is a senior at his university. I say “trying” because it seems like this interest is one-sided, and it seems like he’s never free to see me. His reasoning for not hanging out with me is that he is an athlete who is always busy. I know that this is a valid reason, but it still feels like an excuse. I believe that you make time for what you want. Should I wait for him, or am I wasting my time? -- College Grad

DEAR COLLEGE GRAD: I think you know the answer to your question already. You are right: If this man wanted to spend time with you, he would be doing exactly that in whatever way he could. It’s time to ask yourself some tough questions. Did he ever act like he was interested in you? If so, when? What changed? Is it possible that once you left school, his interest waned? Or was there ever interest on his part at all?

If, indeed, it is simply that he is busy with his sport, the fact remains that he isn’t spending time with you or making you feel like it’s worth the wait. So stop waiting for him. Back off. If he wakes up one day and realizes that you are “the one,” it may be too late. His loss.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two dogs and a cat. I know that my life would be much easier if I sold my pets, but I can’t bring myself to do so. I love my pets as if they’re my children.

Recently, my landlord told me that I can either get rid of one of my animals or pay an extra monthly fee of $75. I’m struggling to pay rent as it is. Should I continue to hide my animals from my landlord and risk being evicted? Selling them would be an absolute last resort for me. -- Pet Lover

DEAR PET LOVER: If you do not want to sell or rehome one of your pets, start investigating to see if you have any rights in this situation. First, check your lease. Make sure that there is a legally binding clause that indicates the pet policy. Read it carefully to ensure that your landlord has the right to charge you extra for your pets. If the policy is unclear, do your best to fight for your animals. Promise to keep them under your control at all times and to keep your place tidy.

If you have no rights, your next recourse may be to move. Look around for affordable apartments with welcoming pet policies. Moving can be a drag, but it may be the only way to keep your babies.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I keep hearing rumors from the other tenants in my apartment building about my landlord being a racist. My landlord is an older white gentleman, and the other tenants in my building are mostly white as well. I am a young black woman, and I don’t take kindly to racism. My landlord is otherwise pretty mild-mannered, but lately I have noticed the microaggressive comments. I’ve locked in for a six-month lease, but that was before I realized that I’m renting from a racist. What do I do? -- Want My Money Back

DEAR WANT MY MONEY BACK: If your landlord is doing or saying things that are negatively impacting you, document everything. If possible, capture video of him when he makes racist comments. You will need a lot of evidence to potentially get out of your lease. If others are also offended by his comments, as you suggest, ask them to join you in recording your landlord’s behavior and lodging a formal complaint against him. You may gain more traction by working together.

Contact a lawyer, and discuss the matter. Bring all documentation that illustrates your allegations. Sadly, many people make racist comments without repercussion.

Hopefully you will be able to prove that you are living with unnecessary distress and need to break your lease. Because you are on a short-term lease anyway, start looking for new housing now. Six months will go by in a blink, and you don’t want to end up with nowhere to live as you fight this battle.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)