DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in the age group where most of my friends who are lucky enough to still have their parents are now dealing with their major health issues. That includes me. It is hard for me to keep up with everyone to make sure that they and their parents are OK. Just being a supportive friend is getting challenging. I’m worried that I may miss one of my friends who could need a hug or help handling a situation with a parent -- or even worse, a parent dies and I can’t respond fast enough. I need to create a system to keep myself calm and to stay engaged. Do you have any ideas? -- Caring for Elders

DEAR CARING FOR ELDERS: What you can do is make a list of all of your friends who have elderly parents. Put their phone numbers and email addresses with their names in an easily accessible location. Consider making the plan to contact each friend once a week to check in. Sometimes it can be a call. Other times it can be a text or an email. Let them all know that you want to be there to support them. Encourage them to reach out to you as well, so that the burden isn’t solely on you to keep the chain of communication open.

Consider creating a support group among your friends so that you talk weekly or with whatever frequency works for you. This can give all of you an outlet to talk about the changing dynamics of your parents and your relationships with them. Agree to be there for each other without judgment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: With more and more people getting vaccinated, I have begun to get invitations to meet up with friends. I haven’t done it yet, not so much because of COVID-19, but because I feel self-conscious. I gained a lot of weight during this year, and I don’t want to be judged by others when they see me. How can I get past this fear and embarrassment? -- The COVID 19

DEAR THE COVID 19: You are not alone in your weight gain. Statistics suggest that most people gained 1.5 pounds per month during the past year, some as many as 29 extra pounds. Wherever you are, notice it and decide what you will do for your health to turn the tide. In terms of meeting up with other people, please know that you are not alone. Chances are, you are about to see a lot of people who have packed on some extra pounds. Decide to accept people as they are, just as you want them to do for you. Do not comment on your weight or others’. Just be grateful to be with people -- still wearing masks and safely distanced, even if you have had the vaccine.

You may also want to start a walking group or exercise group where you meet up with people and move your bodies. Many of us need to jumpstart our fitness routines. Now is the time!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I think that my dad has misogynistic views. He's always been old-fashioned in his values and beliefs, but now that I'm older, I'm starting to realize how problematic his mindset is. He says things to me such as, “As a woman, you need to learn how to cook and clean not only for yourself, but for your future husband.” I don't understand why that's my duty as a woman. I already know how to cook and clean for myself. He also says things like, “Men prefer a clean house when they come home.” I want to call him out on it. Is this misogynistic, or am I overreacting? -- Change Your Views

DEAR CHANGE YOUR VIEWS: Your father is telling you what he learned growing up. Is it old-fashioned? Yes. Is it misogynistic? I'm not sure. If he also says that men shouldn’t have to cook or clean, that this is solely a woman’s job, that enters into the land of limited, sexist views.

Roles for men and women in society were once clearly delineated. That has changed for many people. In some households, men do all the cooking. In others, men are excellent at keeping house. For some couples and families, shared responsibilities make it possible for all of the chores to get done.

While it is wise for you to master all of the tasks that keep a home in order, you should not feel that you have to be the woman extraordinaire who does everything so her husband doesn’t have to do anything. Instead, as a couple, you can work out who does what. That also means you should choose a partner who wants to share the weight.

There’s no need to argue with your father. You can tell him that your intention is to marry a man who wants to be your partner, and that includes being an active participant in taking care of your home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend never wants to come out with me to any social events. I know it sounds like it makes sense because of the pandemic and everything, but even before that, she couldn't be bothered to come with me to large gatherings. She's totally fine hanging out when it's just the two of us, but when other people are involved, she never wants to tag along. My mom suggested that it could be a form of social anxiety. If that's the case, I would love to help her come out of her shell a little bit. I always go with her to her social events. What do I do? I don't want to force her into positions where she's uncomfortable, but how will she ever get comfortable if she doesn't try? -- Extrovert

DEAR EXTROVERT: When you go with her to her events, how many people are there? What makes her comfortable there? Do you have any events that are of equal size and composition? Perhaps if you invite her to smaller social events that are on your calendar, she may be willing to try them out.

Also, as an extrovert, when you go to your events, are you the life of the party? Do you stick with your friend? If she is an introvert, she may feel overwhelmed or intimidated if you become the center of attention when she prefers to remain quiet. Evaluate the situation so that you can figure out how best to create a great experience for both of you. It may also be true that this friend isn’t the right person to accompany you to certain events. Pay attention so that you can figure that out and invite accordingly.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been in a relationship for the past six months. My boyfriend and I are happy and in love. A few nights ago, he told me that when we were in our casual dating phase and were not exclusive yet, he was still seeing other women. He told me the names of the girls he was seeing, and I know a few of them very well. I would not have a problem with this, except for the fact that at that time, he told me that he was seeing only me. I'm trying to remain unbothered by this, but it is a little upsetting. I feel like he lied to me so unnecessarily. We've already talked about it, and he promises that it isn’t a big deal. How do I address this? I don't know if I feel comfortable continuing a relationship with a liar. -- Six Months In

DEAR SIX MONTHS IN: Slow down and assess the situation. It sounds like your boyfriend is admitting something to you -- still pretty early in your relationship -- so that he can clear the air. In the early days before people commit to each other, it is not uncommon to withhold information about who else you’re seeing. Should he have told you that you were the only one? No, but I don’t think this is a dealbreaker, especially if you believe that your relationship is going well. You can ask him why he decided to tell you about these other women now. Tell him that it bothers you that he previously lied about it. Talk it out now so that you can move on quickly.

Focus on now and the life you can build for the future. Ask him never to lie to you again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My roommate and I have been arguing over getting a pet. I'm totally fine with getting a cat or something that could kind of take care of itself and wouldn't be destructive. She really wants a large dog. Our apartment doesn't allow large animals. If we got caught with it, we could get evicted. She is offering to pay whatever pet fees they have, but I am dead set against a dog. I know for a fact that she's been looking at dogs behind my back and plans on probably getting one anyway. I enjoy my roommate; she and I have been friends for years, but I cannot support this decision of hers. I do not want to get evicted, and I don't want to have to kick her out for going against my wishes. What do I do? -- Need New Roommate

DEAR NEED NEW ROOMMATE: Schedule a house meeting with your roommate that is specifically about pets. Be direct with her about your concerns -- you do not agree to a large dog, nor does your building. Point out that you know she has been looking for dogs, and that you are unwilling to lie or sneak in order to have a large dog that can get you both evicted. Tell her that a dog is a dealbreaker. Be sure that you can get her off of your lease, though, before you do that.

If it gets bad enough, you may have to include the landlord in this discussion. If she breaks the rules, figure out how to protect yourself so that she has to go, but not you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)