DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother has been really depressed lately and is gaining a lot of weight as a result. I've noticed him eating a lot and not exercising at all. It's been gradual; since last November, he’s been slowly gaining more and more weight. I think losing our great-aunt may have triggered this depression. They were very close, and he really hasn’t been the same since she died. I’m concerned for his health and his happiness. Losing control of his weight may worsen his depression. How can I intervene without upsetting him or making him feel bad? -- Intervening

DEAR INTERVENING: The combination of losing your great-aunt and the impact of a yearlong quarantine has likely doubly impacted your brother’s health. This has been a tough year for many. It can be hard to notice the effect of this time on the human spirit and body. Your brother probably hasn’t even noticed how he has changed. Of course you want to tread lightly, but you also should take the risk of making him slightly uncomfortable in order to get him to wake up.

One thing you can do, if you have time, is invite your brother to do things with you that get him moving. Ask him to take a walk in the park. You could also coax him into participating in exercise challenges with you where you both commit to moving your bodies several days a week, even if you are not in the same place. Becoming his accountability partner can help him -- and you -- to become more fit as you are connected around a shared healthy living goal.

Talk to him directly about how he’s feeling, and point out your concerns. Tell him you do not mean to hurt his feelings or make him feel uncomfortable, but you have noticed that he seems depressed and has put on a lot of weight. Tell him you are concerned about him. Recommend that it could be good for him to see a counselor to process his thoughts and feelings. Recommend that he get a physical and possibly see a nutritionist, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: The subdivision I live in has had two separate robberies this year. I've always been very anti-gun, but now I'm starting to think that a gun may be a viable option. I was raised anti-gun, so it’s just a morality thing, but I need to take the correct measures to protect myself. My home has a great security system, but I do live alone. How can I protect myself without abandoning my morals? -- Anti-Gun

DEAR ANTI-GUN: Having a gun will not likely protect you from a home invader because you are not trained in how to use it. Apart from your anti-gun sentiment, you need to be practical. I would upgrade your home security system and talk to the neighborhood association about hiring security guards or creating a neighborhood watch. You can hold on to your moral compass and work with your community to try to make your neighborhood safer.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been around the same church community for practically my entire life. I'm moving to a new town where I know hardly anyone, so I’m going to have to find a new church family. I have no idea where to begin since I don't have any connections in the new town. I'm in my late 20s, and I want to find a young church with traditional values. How should I go about this? -- Churchgoer

DEAR CHURCHGOER: Start with your home church. Speak to the pastor to find out if they have any contacts in your new town or if they can put you in touch with a national office to help you with an introduction. Depending upon your church affiliation within the denomination, this could be an easy ask. Churches are typically eager to welcome young people, especially now, when attendance is down for much of the nation. Talk to an administrator to learn about churches that fit your personality and needs.

If that doesn’t work, look online for churches in your new town with young congregations and a traditional mindset. You are bound to find some options that you can visit. When you get to town, talk to people in your neighborhood about the churches there. Take your time, and attend the churches that are potential candidates so that you can get a sense of the pastor, the service and the congregation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom is a 70-year-old woman. Her dog recently died after being with her for 15 years. I know that she would love to have another pet, but she fears that she's not at a place in her life where owning another pet makes sense. I think she is just being morbid. I know she wants another dog, and I want to surprise her with one. I genuinely don't know whether or not she'll be offended that I went against her wishes, but I figured it’s worth a shot. Do you think I’ll offend her by surprising her with another dog? She talks about missing her dog often -- even though she swears she doesn’t want another one. -- Missing Our Dog

DEAR MISSING OUR DOG: I do not believe in surprising people with animals. Caring for a pet is a tremendous responsibility. Unless you are willing and able to care for a dog for your mother, do not give her a pet without her blessing. What you can do is talk to her. Acknowledge her grief over her dog’s passing. She may need some time to mourn her dog before inviting another one into her life.

Tell her that you think it would be good for her to have a new pet, and you would like to gift her a dog. Ask if she would be willing to go with you to see some dogs and to consider welcoming a new pet into her home. The experience of visiting and meeting dogs that she might like can be an adventure that may cheer her up.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I joined a dating app a couple of months ago, and I connected with a really nice man who met all of my requirements. It wasn't until about two weeks ago that he started showing serious signs of instability. For example, if I’m busy and cannot answer my phone, he will call and text me incessantly. He’s even gone as far as to call my work number and make sure I’m there. On one occasion, he showed up at my house unannounced and practically begged me to let him inside. We are not even officially in a relationship -- we are only casually dating. I don’t know if I can look past this behavior. Should I have a talk with him or just cut him off altogether? -- Online Dater

DEAR ONLINE DATER: This man sounds dangerous. You definitely don’t want to keep dating him, but because he knows where you live and work, you have to be careful in distancing yourself from him. If possible, have a conversation with him on the phone and let him know that while you have enjoyed getting to know him, you do not want to go out with him anymore. Assure him that he is a nice guy, but you have decided that you do not want to continue this relationship. If he asks why, tell him that you don’t think you two are a good fit. Before you get serious, you want to stop.

Chances are, this won’t be enough. You should alert your neighbors, friends and job that this man may decide to lurk around, and you need them to have your back. You can contact the dating app and let them know that this man has some stalker tendencies. If he crosses the line -- as in trespassing or threatening you -- call the police.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister is a year older than me, and we grew up very close. We were roommates in college, and our kids were even born within the same year. When I moved away to a different state, we gradually grew apart.

When our kids were younger, we would spend holidays together, but now our kids are older and they all have their own lives. There's a lot of tension between my sister and me because I know she feels a bit excluded. What makes things more challenging is that when I do reach out to her, she seems to be upset with me. I would like to rebuild and strengthen my relationship with my sister. Life is too short to fight with the people you love. How can I fix our strained relationship? -- Sister Problems

DEAR SISTER PROBLEMS: Ask your sister to have an honest talk with you. Invite her to tell you what’s going on with her. Point out that she always seems to be upset with you when you talk, and you want peace in your relationship. Coax out of her what’s really going on. Whatever comes up, try to address it head-on. Remind her that you love her and her children and want more than anything to work together to release the tension and reclaim the tight bond you once shared.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)