DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve recently started dating a woman who is a lifelong vegan. She is very health-conscious, and she even has a website and YouTube channel dedicated to her plant-based lifestyle. While I admire her dedication to veganism, I myself have never been a vegan, nor do I wish to be.

My girlfriend has “joked” a few times about how she plans to convert me into a full-fledged vegan. Whenever we go out to eat, she gets upset if I choose a meal that has meat in it. I’ve never liked being told how to live my life or feeling like someone is forcing their ways on me. I don’t appreciate the judgment she passes whenever I eat what I want to eat. How can I fix this? -- Non-Vegan

DEAR NON-VEGAN: You two need to have a serious conversation about values and boundaries. Explore what values and beliefs you share. Where do your ideas about life sync up, and where do they not? Talk openly about your beliefs, and consider whether your differences are manageable or too far apart. Talk about the way you eat in this context. It is possible for the two of you to be in a relationship when you don’t eat the same foods, though it won’t be easy. It may require that you both cook, for example, so that when you eat at home, you each get to enjoy the food that you prefer.

You need to directly address her judgment over your eating habits. Explain that you know that her food choices are important to her and you would never stand in her way, but you expect the same respect for your choices. Be clear that you do not want to become a vegan, and you want her to stop proselytizing. Now, if you eat in an unhealthy manner and your body needs to get well, you may want to talk about ways to improve your eating -- but without the judgment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter recently told me that she wants to move out of state by herself. She just graduated from college and is very independent, but I really want her to stay closer to home without clipping her wings. When I graduated from college, I was engaged to be married, so I left home and moved to a different state from my family, and I deeply regret that. I know that these are different times, but I would still like her to stay close to home. How do I broach the subject without making her feel that I am stopping her from exploring her adult life? -- Empty Nest

DEAR EMPTY NEST: Your job as a parent is to prepare your child to become an adult. That means that you give her the wisdom and knowledge about how to take care of herself without your supervision. This is hard for parents sometimes because on one hand, we want our kids to grow up, but on the other, we want them to stay close to us.

You have to prepare to let go -- now. Allow your daughter to make her own decisions. Let her move wherever she wants to move, and give her your blessing. You can tell her that she is always welcome to come home and that you will miss her terribly, but you have to encourage her to make her own decisions. Do not talk about your regrets right now. That will guilt her. Let her go.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a 20-year-old college student, and my mom recently got engaged to her boyfriend of two years. She’s been a single mom for pretty much my entire life, and I'm nervous about her taking this next step. Her boyfriend seems cool, but I really don't know him all that well since they started dating while I was away at school. I want her to be happy; however, I'm also insecure about losing our closeness. My mom and I are best friends. It's been just the two of us for so long. How can I be more accepting of this change? -- Mom and Me

DEAR MOM AND ME: Your mother’s relationship is only one of two significant changes that you are facing right now, even if you don’t realize it. You are becoming an adult, and you need to step fully into that, which means that you need to be able to be independent of your mother, even as you stay close to her. Interestingly, the fact that she is soon to be married may be a good thing for both of you. Why? Because both of you need to discover how to be independent of each other. Chances are, your mother went through something like this when you went away to college. Becoming an empty nester can be devastating to some parents, especially when they are very close to their children.

Instead of worrying, make a decision to welcome this man into the family, to be happy for your mother and to remain close to her. Talk to your mother about your feelings. Perhaps she will share some of hers, as well. Yes, your relationship will change, but that was going to happen anyway. Welcome the changes, and choose to enjoy the journey.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a Black man living in Columbus, Ohio. My girlfriend -- who is white -- and I have been together for three years and are now discussing marriage, but my parents seem to feel uneasy about this. I asked my fiancee if her parents, being white, were comfortable with us being married. They said they were. But for some reason, my parents aren't quite comfortable with the idea. When I pressed them on it, they said that there’s no way a white woman would be able to fully understand me for who I am, especially in a post-Trump America. I disagree, but I don’t want there to be strife between our families. What do you think I should do? -- Family Feud

DEAR FAMILY FEUD: Sadly, we live in a country that is still plagued by racism. Even so, many mixed-race couples marry and build beautiful lives together. For conditions to be optimal, it would be great if your families got along with each other and with the two of you. Your parents can have their skepticism. Rather than arguing with them about their beliefs, focus on building your life with your fiancee. Talk through all of your issues and concerns. Be open about race, discrimination and social justice issues. Figure out where each of you stands on the hot topics of the day -- and where your values lie. You will have to stand up to plenty more people than your parents, so test it out to see how strong the two of you are in your beliefs and willingness to fight for your life together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend was housesitting for me while I went out of town for a few weeks to visit family. One of the most important tasks I gave her while watching my house was to take care of my houseplants. My plants are very large and require proper care and sunlight, or they will quickly start to wither and die.

When I got back, my plants were extremely wilted and looked as if they had not been watered at all. My tallest plant, which my great-aunt gave me before she passed away -- was pretty much dead. This plant was the most important thing to me because I promised my aunt that I would take care of it when she started to get sick.

I'm furious with my friend. She knows how much these plants meant to me, and I have no idea if she even tried to take care of them. I know it may seem like I'm overreacting, but I am very upset with her carelessness, and now I can't help but feel differently toward her. I know that this is not worth losing a friendship over. How do I address this with her? -- Plant Mom

DEAR PLANT MOM: Talk to your friend. Tell her how disappointed you are that her plants were not watered and are almost dead. Ask her what happened. Be specific. Ask her why she did not do the most important task that you gave her. While there is no legitimate excuse not to honor the agreement, listen to what she says.

You also need to look at yourself and your decisions. You asked this friend to housesit with the most pressing job being to water your plants. Did you have any indication that she has a green thumb or any consciousness about plants? Some people do not pay attention to plants. This may be hard for you to believe, but it’s true. It seems that you did not choose well when it came to having this task fulfilled. You are actually equally if not more to blame for this mishap because you asked the wrong person to do the job. You can forgive your friend -- and yourself -- for what happened. Next time, choose more wisely.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been in love with a man for the past 30 years -- from a distance. The timing was always wrong for us to be together, mainly because he is a bit of a player. I never totally waited for him. I got married and had a family, but he has stayed in my heart as “the one.” I know it’s horrible, but it’s true. Anyhow, recently he called us “spiritual husband and wife” and told me that he loves me more than any other woman in his life. What am I supposed to do with that? Saying these words doesn’t give us the kind of relationship that I have always wanted. It kind of makes me mad. He declares these things without accepting any responsibility or role in demonstrating this love. I don’t know what to do. I’m still married, though not particularly happily. But I don’t think this guy would be there for me like I need, even if I did leave. -- Not Enough

DEAR NOT ENOUGH: You need to let go of this man. Stop letting him pull your strings. It’s not fair for him to have your heart from a distance. Stop giving it to him. Focus on the life you have chosen. Right now, you are not being fair to your husband or yourself. It is not possible to find happiness in this way. Life is not a game, even if he seems to be playing one.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)