DEAR HARRIETTE: I've known the man who I am currently “seeing” for three years. We’ve never been in a relationship before -- we’ve always just been long-distance friends. It is almost as if we are pen pals. We met through social media.

My friend has always lived in a different state, and it wasn't until the end of last year that we finally got to meet in person. It was so wonderful, but he told me that even though he loved and enjoyed our time together, he's been in a long-distance relationship before and it did not go well, so he doesn’t want to be in a long-distance relationship with me. Despite this, we speak much more frequently now and have basically continued on with a relationship without actually having the titles of boyfriend or girlfriend. I feel that I've made up my mind that this is who I want to be with, but he still has reservations about being with me. Do you think that I'm wasting my time? -- Long Distance

DEAR LONG DISTANCE: If you want this relationship to be different, you have to request it and be willing to walk away if you can’t have it. Tell this man that you want more than talking; you want him to be your partner. Talk about what that might look like. How often can you see each other? Would either of you ever consider moving to the other’s town? Find out what he wants and if you are part of that plan. If you are unwilling to keep doing what you are doing, you may have to stop talking to him for a while. Perhaps absence will make the heart grow fonder, and he will come around to trying to figure out with you if you can be together. If not, let him go and create space for someone who wants to be more than a modern-day pen pal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I drink too much, I bite my nails. I honestly don’t think about it until the morning when I see that my hands are all jacked up. It happened again recently, and I realize that I must be drinking too much in general. I’m not really aware of it until I see my hands. I do have a lot of stress, but this is not good. How can I control myself? -- Drink Too Much

DEAR DRINK TOO MUCH: Thank your body for giving you a warning sign of your behavior. It’s amazing how the body works. Your nail biting is your indicator of when you are drinking too much. In the light of day, you have to make a decision. I recommend that you go online to Alcoholics Anonymous (aa.org) and sign up for a virtual meeting. One spot of good news during COVID-19 is that you don’t have to get out of your house to get support. Log on, find a meeting and go. You will hear people talk about their battles with drinking -- without judgment. You can listen and also talk about your life. This engagement may help you to examine your choices differently and drum up the courage to stop drinking. Give it a try.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 30 years old, and I've always been really insecure about my body. During the summer, my friends and I have pool parties and beach days. All of my friends wear bikinis, even though not all of them have perfect bodies. I admire and envy their confidence; I simply don’t have it. I am so insecure about my body that I have not put on a swimsuit since my teens. I'm afraid that I'm spending my best years being defeated by my own insecurities. I would love to get into the pool, and I would love to go to the beach. I don't want to stand in my own way. How can I take the steps towards accepting myself for who I am? -- Summer Body

DEAR SUMMER BODY: Because this is a deep-seated issue for you, you may want to get some professional counseling to help you sort through your insecurities. Body image is an issue for many women and men. Believe me, it comes up a lot as we inch closer to summer.

Apart from counseling, here are some other things you can try. Get comfortable looking at your body in the mirror. Stand in your underwear in front of the mirror and look at yourself head to toe, front to back. As you look at yourself, say, “I love you just the way you are.” Repeat it like a chant. Offer love to yourself. Welcome your full self as you are. Do this every day, and after a while, you will begin to believe it.

Now, invest in a bathing suit. It can be a one-piece. It can even be a bathing suit with swim shorts. Find something that you feel comfortable in. Then drum up the courage this summer to go for it. Trust that your friends will support you. Choose to be free and to have fun.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently lost my grandmother's ring. My mom gave it to me as a wedding gift three years ago. I've always been really close to my grandmother, but I was afraid to wear the ring because of how precious it is. I thought I put it away in a safe spot, but somehow I’ve misplaced it. I'm very scared to tell my mom that I lost this family heirloom. It was supposed to be in my family for generations. What should I do? -- Missing Ring

DEAR MISSING RING: Before you share the news with your mother, step back and think hard about where the ring might be. Talk to your husband about it, and ask him to be on the lookout. Look under the bed and in all of your drawers. Don’t give up. Scour every nook and cranny. Perhaps it is not gone.

If, after a thorough search, you still can’t find it, then tell your mother. I say that with one caveat: If your mother is unwell, of fragile mind or body, keep this information to yourself. There is no need to worry your mother since there is nothing you can do about the loss, in terms of replacing the ring. So, weigh the emotional consequences of telling your mother versus keeping it to yourself. Tell her only if you think she can handle it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Whenever I talk to my sister, we have some kind of an argument. She is older than me, and she just can’t help herself. She always finds a way to jab at me and make herself look better. I am so sick of it. But here’s the thing -- while she can be rude and mean to me, I have discovered that she brags about me when she talks to other people. I was shocked to learn that she speaks about me in glowing terms. Who knew? That made me feel a bit better, but it doesn’t change that she is rude to me. As an adult, how can I get her to quit it? I don’t like talking to her much because it’s guaranteed that she will find a way to be mean. -- Reset

DEAR RESET: Contact your sister and tell her what you discovered. Tell her how pleasantly surprised you were to learn that she had nice things to say about you to whoever it was. Point out how happy you were to learn that she even had those thoughts about you since what you typically hear from her is criticism. Ask her to be kinder to you when you talk. Tell her it is emotionally exhausting to talk to her because you know at some point she is going to be mean. Ask her to stop.

Then, when you are in conversation and she begins to go in on you, ask her in the moment to stop. If she continues, tell her you have to go, and literally get off the phone. You do not have to keep listening as your sister berates you. You can choose to pivot.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a call the other day from an old college friend. We used to work together at the school newspaper back in the day. He is a really nice guy. I consider him a friend even though we don’t talk much. Anyhow, he called me out of the blue to talk, and during the conversation, he asked if I knew that he liked me when we were in school. I was caught off guard. I did know, but I was interested in somebody else at the time, so I didn’t react to him when he did little things that showed he liked me. Plus, I was 19; I didn’t know what to say to him. But now we are grown, and he brought it up again. We are both married, so I don’t think he is trying to spark a new flame. I dodged the question again, but I think he deserves an answer. What should I say? -- He Liked Me

DEAR HE LIKED ME: A sad reality is that it is common for people to have poor timing when it comes to love. Even more, all too often one person may like someone who doesn’t like him or her back -- at least not in that way. That's the story of love sometimes!

Your friend does deserve an answer, a kind and true answer. You can tell him how much you liked him then and now, as your friend, but when he was crushing on you back in the day, you were crushing on somebody else. Admit that you didn’t react to his overtures because you didn’t know what to say. Add that you are very glad that you have stayed friends over the years, and you hope to remain friends for life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)