DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 30 years old, and I've always been really insecure about my body. During the summer, my friends and I have pool parties and beach days. All of my friends wear bikinis, even though not all of them have perfect bodies. I admire and envy their confidence; I simply don’t have it. I am so insecure about my body that I have not put on a swimsuit since my teens. I'm afraid that I'm spending my best years being defeated by my own insecurities. I would love to get into the pool, and I would love to go to the beach. I don't want to stand in my own way. How can I take the steps towards accepting myself for who I am? -- Summer Body

DEAR SUMMER BODY: Because this is a deep-seated issue for you, you may want to get some professional counseling to help you sort through your insecurities. Body image is an issue for many women and men. Believe me, it comes up a lot as we inch closer to summer.

Apart from counseling, here are some other things you can try. Get comfortable looking at your body in the mirror. Stand in your underwear in front of the mirror and look at yourself head to toe, front to back. As you look at yourself, say, “I love you just the way you are.” Repeat it like a chant. Offer love to yourself. Welcome your full self as you are. Do this every day, and after a while, you will begin to believe it.

Now, invest in a bathing suit. It can be a one-piece. It can even be a bathing suit with swim shorts. Find something that you feel comfortable in. Then drum up the courage this summer to go for it. Trust that your friends will support you. Choose to be free and to have fun.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently lost my grandmother's ring. My mom gave it to me as a wedding gift three years ago. I've always been really close to my grandmother, but I was afraid to wear the ring because of how precious it is. I thought I put it away in a safe spot, but somehow I’ve misplaced it. I'm very scared to tell my mom that I lost this family heirloom. It was supposed to be in my family for generations. What should I do? -- Missing Ring

DEAR MISSING RING: Before you share the news with your mother, step back and think hard about where the ring might be. Talk to your husband about it, and ask him to be on the lookout. Look under the bed and in all of your drawers. Don’t give up. Scour every nook and cranny. Perhaps it is not gone.

If, after a thorough search, you still can’t find it, then tell your mother. I say that with one caveat: If your mother is unwell, of fragile mind or body, keep this information to yourself. There is no need to worry your mother since there is nothing you can do about the loss, in terms of replacing the ring. So, weigh the emotional consequences of telling your mother versus keeping it to yourself. Tell her only if you think she can handle it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Whenever I talk to my sister, we have some kind of an argument. She is older than me, and she just can’t help herself. She always finds a way to jab at me and make herself look better. I am so sick of it. But here’s the thing -- while she can be rude and mean to me, I have discovered that she brags about me when she talks to other people. I was shocked to learn that she speaks about me in glowing terms. Who knew? That made me feel a bit better, but it doesn’t change that she is rude to me. As an adult, how can I get her to quit it? I don’t like talking to her much because it’s guaranteed that she will find a way to be mean. -- Reset

DEAR RESET: Contact your sister and tell her what you discovered. Tell her how pleasantly surprised you were to learn that she had nice things to say about you to whoever it was. Point out how happy you were to learn that she even had those thoughts about you since what you typically hear from her is criticism. Ask her to be kinder to you when you talk. Tell her it is emotionally exhausting to talk to her because you know at some point she is going to be mean. Ask her to stop.

Then, when you are in conversation and she begins to go in on you, ask her in the moment to stop. If she continues, tell her you have to go, and literally get off the phone. You do not have to keep listening as your sister berates you. You can choose to pivot.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a call the other day from an old college friend. We used to work together at the school newspaper back in the day. He is a really nice guy. I consider him a friend even though we don’t talk much. Anyhow, he called me out of the blue to talk, and during the conversation, he asked if I knew that he liked me when we were in school. I was caught off guard. I did know, but I was interested in somebody else at the time, so I didn’t react to him when he did little things that showed he liked me. Plus, I was 19; I didn’t know what to say to him. But now we are grown, and he brought it up again. We are both married, so I don’t think he is trying to spark a new flame. I dodged the question again, but I think he deserves an answer. What should I say? -- He Liked Me

DEAR HE LIKED ME: A sad reality is that it is common for people to have poor timing when it comes to love. Even more, all too often one person may like someone who doesn’t like him or her back -- at least not in that way. That's the story of love sometimes!

Your friend does deserve an answer, a kind and true answer. You can tell him how much you liked him then and now, as your friend, but when he was crushing on you back in the day, you were crushing on somebody else. Admit that you didn’t react to his overtures because you didn’t know what to say. Add that you are very glad that you have stayed friends over the years, and you hope to remain friends for life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Now that a lot of people are getting vaccinated, I see more people going outside, meeting up in groups and not wearing masks. This frightens me. We are not even close to being fully vaccinated yet. I get that people are tired of being cooped up at home, but I don’t think this is smart. Several friends have been calling, trying to get me to hang out with them, but I’m not ready. When I say that, they call me a scaredy-cat. Really? Do you think I’m being too cautious? Several of my friends passed away from COVID-19. One of them was older and unwell, but one of them was the picture of health and young, and he died anyway. I am scared. -- Reentry

DEAR REENTRY: First, I want to express my condolences for your losses during the pandemic. As of this writing, more than 537,000 people in our country have died, and the death toll has not stopped climbing even now as the vaccinations are reaching more people. You are not wrong to be concerned.

Most of us have been home for a whole year. Naturally, it is with some trepidation that we venture out socially, even if vaccinated. You are not wrong to be cautious. The good news is the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has come up with guidelines for fully vaccinated people to help ensure safe reentry into daily life. It turns out, you can be in the company of other fully vaccinated people indoors without masks. You can be around unvaccinated people from the same household indoors without a mask. You should continue to practice social distancing with a mask in larger groups or when the space is not well-ventilated.

You can begin to engage socially, so you may want to take your friends up on their invitation if they, too, are vaccinated. Here’s more information from the CDC: bit.ly/2P16Vwf.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a big virtual birthday party recently. I decided to do it at the last minute, but it turned out great. I was inviting people up until the day before the party as I remembered them. As you can imagine, I forgot a few people. I have mainly gotten sweet messages from people who weren’t invited, wishing me a happy birthday. But a couple of people expressed sadness and upset that they weren’t included. It wasn’t intentional at all. I haven’t said anything to them because I don’t know what to say. I made a spur-of-the-moment decision and inadvertently left them out. What can I say to let them know that I do indeed care about them? -- Missed the Party

DEAR MISSED THE PARTY: Do not belabor the oversight as there is nothing you can do about it. Instead, you can reach back to the friends in question, thank them for their well wishes and express sincere regret that you didn’t tell them about your event. Assure them that you care deeply about them and appreciate their loving wishes.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)