DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m concerned about my dad’s eating habits. He is getting a bit older, and although he has no preexisting health conditions, he’s not in the best shape. He consumes way too much sugar and sodium, and he doesn’t get nearly enough exercise on a weekly basis. I’ve tried to help him, but he is stubborn and stuck in his ways. He feels that at his age, he is entitled to eat and live however he wants. I’m scared that if he doesn’t make a change, something bad is going to happen to him. How can I convince my dad to live a healthier lifestyle? -- Dad Needs Diet

DEAR DAD NEEDS DIET: Studies show that people who lead a sedentary lifestyle filled with sugar and sodium are setting themselves up for unhealthy bodies and disease. Sadly, one of the many negative side effects of COVID-19 on our communities is that many people have become more sedentary and not as mindful of what they consume. This is a recipe for disaster. Medical professionals point to lack of physical activity as having a direct effect on overall health and wellness. Being sedentary can lead to a host of diseases, including obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease and even early death.

Talk to your dad. Tell him you want him to live and that you are worried that his current lifestyle is not pointing him in that direction. Get him reading material so he can see for himself. Here’s one helpful article: medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322910#physical-dangers.

Invite him to go on walks, drink more water and change his diet. Keep encouraging him. Your positive attitude may inspire him to develop better habits.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I were on a break during Valentine’s Day. We’ve been together for two years, but we were having a bit of a rough patch last month, so we decided to cool things down for a minute. We are back together now, and things are just fine. My problem is that I’m upset with him for not doing anything for me on Valentine’s Day. He knows that I love that holiday. I understand that we were technically on a break during that time, but I also know he had every intention of getting back together. He could have done something small for me just for the gesture. I’m resentful because I felt completely alone and unloved on that day. Am I being ridiculous, or am I right to feel this way? -- Valentine

DEAR VALENTINE: Stop fretting over the past, and focus on the present. What do you like about your relationship? Why did you choose to get back together after your break? Evaluate the serious issues that prompted you to take a break in the first place, and decide whether you have adequately addressed them.

While Valentine’s Day can be fun, it’s a manufactured holiday. Your life is something different. Figure out what you want and whether your boyfriend wants the same things. Then work on building your bond better.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-fiance and I have been broken up for four years now. We got engaged in our early 20s and never got married. Our relationship lasted three years. Over the past year, he and I started communicating again. The more we communicate, the more I find myself wondering if we made a mistake by calling off our engagement. Neither of us is in a serious relationship at the moment. I’m curious whether or not I should give this another go.

We didn’t break up because of abuse, infidelity or any serious reason; we broke up because we were young and disillusioned with how we thought a potential marriage should be. We have no kids. Am I being unrealistic for thinking we could give it another go? -- Second-Guessing

DEAR SECOND-GUESSING: Young love is often fleeting because of bad timing. When you have an opportunity to revisit an old relationship that was positive but became too close too soon, why not go for it?

Start with an honest conversation. You can say that since you two have been communicating again, you realize how much you appreciate him and your friendship. If you have missed him, tell him. Ask how he feels. No need to make this a confessional. Instead, just start talking openly about your feelings.

If you want to date him again, say so. Since the two of you are free and single and still care about each other, it could be lovely to explore this and see what unfolds.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m dating a man who has a 5-year-old son. He has his kid with him every other weekend. We’ve been dating for about eight months now, and he still won’t introduce me to his son. I’m trying to not read too much into it, but my feelings are hurt. I feel like if he can’t introduce me to his kid, he isn’t very invested in our relationship. I try not to nag him about it, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to act like it isn’t bothering me. He mentioned to me that his son’s mother specifically asked that he not bring women around his son, and he wants to avoid conflict. Is this a red flag? What should I do? -- Red Flag

DEAR RED FLAG: It is wise for single parents who are dating to protect their children from transient relationships. Yours seems more committed than that, though. But the reality is that it’s still a new relationship, and he has his kid’s mom to contend with.

What this means is that you two need to make some decisions. Start by asking yourself what you want in this relationship. If you feel that you have a future together, talk openly about that, and find out where he stands. If your relationship is serious, at nearly a year long, it makes sense that you would want to meet his son and be in his life in some way. That will likely require your boyfriend to explain to his child’s mother that you are important to him and a part of his life; therefore, her rules have to relax. It could take time for him to get this woman to accept the new normal, and you will need to be patient. Figuring out a relationship with her will be part of your reality if you two decide to stay together. So take it slow, and do not try to force him to choose between her and you. There’s no winning there. They have a child together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m really afraid to get the COVID-19 vaccine. I was born in the late ‘60s, and I’ve witnessed firsthand how the medical community misdiagnoses, tricks and leads the Black community astray. I know that at some point I will need it -- and I don’t want to side with anti-vaxxers -- but I’m frightened. Do you think that I am justified in being afraid of getting the vaccine, or am I being irrational? I don’t believe statistics -- I know numbers can be fixed. -- On the Fence

DEAR ON THE FENCE: You are not alone in your skepticism about getting the COVID-19 vaccine -- particularly as a Black person. It is true that in the past, there have been many egregious acts by the medical community with regard to people of African descent, most notable among them being the Tuskegee Study, a 40-year study of African American males with untreated syphilis who were led to believe that they were being treated. For more on the history of how Blacks have been discriminated against regarding healthcare, read health.com/condition/infectious-diseases/coronavirus/covid-vaccine-black-distrust.

Based on all that I have read about the COVID-19 vaccines, this is a different story. Because of the advanced technology and capabilities in modern medicine, vaccinations have been developed in record time and are being administered to all races and ethnicities in the American population. To be fair, statistics show that Black and brown neighborhoods are getting access to vaccinations more slowly than predominantly white communities, but they are getting them. And the staggering death rate is diminishing.

Given that Black people have contracted COVID-19 at higher rates than whites throughout much of the United States, it is important to get protection against this deadly disease. That’s my opinion after extensive reading. To learn more about the vaccination for older African Americans and people of color, read AARP CEO Joann Jenkins’ thoughts at bit.ly/38TuZIe. General information about the vaccines can be found here: bit.ly/3lusiC3.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel that I’m losing control of my schedule because of my best friend. She understands how busy I am with my new job, yet she insists that I dedicate all of my free time to her. I honestly don’t think she realizes that she does this because it is just part of her personality. She naturally infringes on other people's time and helps herself to whatever she wants in all circumstances. For example, on my birthday she assumed that she and I would have the entire day to hang out, when in actuality I had other plans. If she had bothered to ask if I had other plans in the first place, she would’ve known that. How do I deal with this? -- Bossy Best Friend

DEAR BOSSY BEST FRIEND: In order for you to take control of your world, you have to speak up for yourself. That includes anticipating your best friend’s expectations. You probably knew that your best friend would want to spend your birthday together. You could have told her in advance that you had planned a full day, and she would be able to participate in part of it. Or perhaps you could have invited her to celebrate with you on another day. You have to control your life. You do so by managing your relationships.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)