DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in desperate need of a new hobby. During quarantine I have done my fair share of puzzles, I have crocheted ad nauseum and I am so sick of reading. What can I do to stop myself from going stir crazy? My friends only seem to want to sit around and watch Netflix. I would like something that all of us could do together. We are all women in our 40s with kids and differing schedules, but we can come together on weekends. What would you suggest we do? -- Bored of Netflix

DEAR BORED OF NETFLIX: Yes, it has been a whole year since we were able to move freely in the world. It surely has taken its toll on all of us. Here’s where creativity needs to step in. Thanks to the weather warming up, it may not be so hard to manage. Can you ladies start a walking group in your neighborhood? Getting outside and moving your body can be tons of fun -- and good for your health, too. You may want to take a yoga class on the weekend or start a gardening project. Think outdoors. Even with the threat of COVID-19 lingering for all of us, doing activities outside is still considered safer than being together inside. Plus, you get the added bonuses of being away from the TV and communing with nature.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 53-year-old woman, and I have not been in the dating world since the year 2000. I have dedicated my life to raising my children and developing my career, and I did not have the time nor the energy to date. Now that I am 53 and my kids are adults, I feel like the best parts of me are no longer there. I am not as young and as attractive as I once was. How would someone like me reintegrate into the world of dating? I am nervous that I could possibly meet untrustworthy people on dating websites. I also feel that I’ve been independent for so long that I don’t know how to compromise anymore. What should I do? -- Not Dead Yet

DEAR NOT DEAD YET: All of your concerns are legitimate -- but it’s time to let down your guard a bit. Start by defining what you are looking for in a companion, how flexible you are in the world of compromise and where you draw the line. Refresh your memory of what you think is important in a relationship and what you value.

Next, don’t give up on dating sites. A female friend of mine who was in her late 50s met a man on a mature dating site, and they have been married now for several years. It can work. You have to be open to it -- while remaining appropriately cautious.

You also need to go out and be with people -- socially distanced and masked, of course. But as local events begin again, attend them. Pay attention to what’s going on in your community, and show up. Don’t fret about your looks. Do your best to present yourself well, and let the true you shine through. If you hold the attitude that you want to meet a new friend, you create space for that to happen.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother won’t stop getting plastic surgery. She’s 52 years old, and she’s done body sculpting, liposuction, lip fillers and Botox, and now she’s trying to schedule a complete facelift. She is starting to look unrecognizable and incredibly plastic. I beg her to stop and try to reassure her that she’s still beautiful and doesn’t need to keep going under the knife, but she won’t listen to me. I’ve been doing research lately, and I’m reading that she could potentially be addicted to surgery. How do I get her to stop destroying her face? I don’t think she can see how it’s only going to get worse. -- Plastic Mom

DEAR PLASTIC MOM: Sadly, there are many people, women in particular, who begin the process of using surgical and other techniques to “improve” their appearance and who fall under the spell of the changes. As you have seen, there’s plenty of research on the subject.

Alone, you may not be able to do much to get your mother to consider stopping her body alterations. You can recommend therapy. Perhaps you can suggest that your mother go to therapy with you to work on some issues that are bothering you. If she agrees to that, go for it. Explain that you are worried about your mother’s health and mental well-being, and it is affecting your own health. With the therapist as a professional support, lay it on the table. Express your concerns, and attempt to get your mother to talk about it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After wearing my hair in protective styles for 15 years, I’ve recently decided to let my hair go natural. I’ve had everything from braids to wigs and have always kept my styles long. My natural hair is a short 4C afro.

I’ve had my natural hair for a few weeks, and I immediately started to notice that people were treating me differently than they used to. Men don’t really approach me anymore, and my co-workers make comments about missing my “long hair.” I hate that I’m now feeling self-conscious about this. As excited as I was to go natural, I’m feeling like maybe I would be more comfortable keeping my hair in protective styles until it gets a bit longer or bigger. Am I jumping ship too soon? Should I wait until it grows on me? -- Naturale

DEAR NATURALE: Welcome to the world of unconscious bias. Our culture tells us that certain textures and styles of hair are preferred. Natural, tightly curled hair is not on that list -- even for many people who have that hair. The good news is that there has been a movement afoot and gaining steam for decades that encourages the love of hair in all of its textures. The CROWN Act in California, and similar measures in New York and New Jersey, even exist to protect women with natural hair from being discriminated against at work.

Personally, you need to grow to love your hair in its natural state and learn new styles to wear. Over time, the more you embrace your hair, the more others may get used to seeing you that way. You will have to train them to see the beauty in your new look. You do that by wearing your hair with confidence and power.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve lived in a bustling city for the past 22 years. I would love to move to a quiet rural town with idyllic scenery and a small-town feel. My rent now is high because of my location, and I can really move anywhere because I don’t own my home. My only concern is dealing with the small-town mindset that often goes hand-in-hand with rural areas. Do you think that it would be more advantageous to make this leap? Or is it worth it to stay in the big city? -- Leaving the City

DEAR LEAVING THE CITY: The good news for you is that since you are not a homeowner, you can move freely and try out a new area. As long as you are able to do your work wherever you live or remotely, the world is your oyster. Research the areas you are considering to learn as much as you can, including the demographic makeup. Dig around to learn about the politics, culture and leadership of the area.

Sure, you may find that the small town is more provincial in its ways than a big city, but there are always tradeoffs. Try out a new city to see if you like it. Become a renter and give yourself one to two years. If it doesn’t suit you, pack up and continue your adventure.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a 38-year-old woman. I have my own home and I pay my own bills, but I have not been able to maintain a relationship for longer than two years. I really want to have children, but it seems as though my ideal situation of being married first and then having children is not going to happen. I never saw myself as an old mom. I don’t have any potential dating prospects on the horizon. Is it selfish of me to try IVF and have children without a father? I do not want to wait until I get to a high-risk age to have kids, and at this rate, I’m running out of options. -- Wanting Kids

DEAR WANTING KIDS: You are at an important crossroads in your life, where it is important to consider your future. Things are not as dire as they seem, though.

You have a few options to consider. It may not be too late to freeze your eggs. Speak to your doctor about that option, which allows you to use them later in life. Indeed, you might even be able to have a surrogate carry a child for you if you decide to have a baby in the future. You can also consider adoption in coming years, even the possibility of adopting an older child.

The notion of having a child without a father is something worth contemplating. Many women find themselves in this situation for a variety of reasons. While co-parenting is ideal, you can go solo and create a wonderful life for yourself and your child. You just have to plan. While planning, incorporate opportunities to go out and be in the company of other people. Your partner may be nearby, but the two of you just haven’t been in the right place to meet!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)