DEAR HARRIETTE: I try hard to stay away from the topic of religion when I’m with my in-laws, but I’m starting to realize how unavoidable this topic is. My husband comes from a very religious background, and I simply wasn’t raised to subscribe to any particular religion myself. I feel that my in-laws impose their views on me every time we see them. I also believe that they judge me because I do not believe in the same things that they do. I talk to my husband about how uncomfortable they’ve made me, but since those are the people who raised him, I feel that he is biased and only halfway understands why I’m so frustrated. What can I say or do? -- Religious In-Laws

DEAR RELIGIOUS IN LAWS: I hate to say this, but you knew who they were when you married your husband. It sounds like none of you has changed, but all of you wish that you had; hence the friction. Since you can only control yourself, make the decision that you will accept them for who they are and stop being affected by their proselytizing. Their way is to talk about their religion. Your way can become to change the subject, excuse yourself from the conversation and remark only on the topics that stir you the most. In other words, agree to disagree with them on particular points.

If you and your husband are considering having children, you should talk about how you will raise them. It is highly likely that your in-laws will push hard to have your children reared in their religious practices. The only way that this won’t happen is if you and your husband discuss and firmly agree on a different plan that he is willing to back you up on when the time comes.

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I get my confidence back after dealing with internet trolls? While I know the best thing to do is ignore people who have nothing positive to say, I also can’t help but feel that with every harsh joke, there’s some truth. I’ve been struggling with my confidence after a bunch of people attacked my pictures online. My pictures usually get a lot of attention because of my online presence, but this time, a lot of the attention came with negativity. I want to tune it out and get back to feeling like myself, but I cannot help but look at myself a little differently. How can I go back to feeling like my usual confident self? -- Internet Trolls

DEAR INTERNET TROLLS: There are real consequences to getting caught up in the wheel of likes and dislikes on the internet. Honestly, whenever people rely too heavily on other people’s opinions, it can be detrimental to their mental health. The internet has only made it worse because people can anonymously post anything, and often they are unkind.

Building self-esteem requires you to evaluate yourself for who you are and what you value, not what other people say. Unless you did something scandalous for which you honestly feel regret, take these comments with a grain of salt. Perhaps somebody was jealous or bored and decided to pick on you. Do not react to the negative comments. If they warrant deletion, take them down. If they should be reported, do that. But don’t fight back. Your best defense is radio silence. If you do not engage these trolls, they will lose their power over you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have spent most of my working life doing freelance projects with small businesses. Recently, I have been working with a big corporation, and I have been having difficulties. On one hand, they like my creative ideas and vision a lot. But I haven’t figured out their processes yet, and I always seem to be late. I’m noticing that they are getting frustrated with the way that I work. This is tough because I have been able to help them break through on some strategy work that has been extremely helpful to them. Yet I sense that they are tired of needing to consider my approach. How can I fall in line with their ways and remain a fresh and vital member of the team? -- Teamwork

DEAR TEAMWORK: Talk to your supervisor and express your concerns. Ask for advice on how to best meld with their systems while keeping your edge. Be upfront about how much you enjoy working with them and how you believe that your unique approach has been helpful to them, but you also recognize that your way may be wearing some people down. Ask for feedback and input.

Also, play closer attention to their deadline schedule. To the best of your ability, present your ideas within their timeframe so that there is no reason for compromise on either side.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two teenagers and a husband, and often I feel like I’m the only one contributing to the upkeep of our household. My kids work hard at their studies, but when they aren’t doing schoolwork, they are playing video games or sleeping. My husband is working only part-time now due to COVID-19, so he has a lot of time on his hands that he mostly uses for watching TV or sleeping. My job has ramped up, and I’m usually on Zoom calls until 7 or 8 p.m. I don’t think it’s fair for me to have to cook dinner after I end my calls if they have been chilling for hours. Same goes for cleaning up, doing laundry, etc. Sometimes I get so mad because I need a break, too. I know that the lion’s share of work in a household often falls on the mom, but it’s not fair. And right now, it’s overwhelming. I need a break. How can I get my family to step up? -- Help Me

DEAR HELP ME: Call a family meeting, and point out your frustration and your need for everyone to participate in the work of the home. Take them through what happened in the previous week, each day. Point out what each family member did or didn’t do all day. Note how you were left caring for everyone’s needs while they did not pitch in.

Create a schedule for the family, and post it on your refrigerator. Put initials beside each duty, and invite everyone to help. If they don’t, stop doing everything for them. See how they react when there is no meal, no clean clothes, no maintenance.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine just lost her son on Valentine’s Day to a random, senseless act of violence. I am completely devastated for her, and I can’t even begin to imagine how she’s feeling. I’ve watched her son grow up; he was kind of like a nephew to me.

I know that nothing I can say can heal or soothe her pain, but I need a bit of guidance. She’s understandably quieter than usual, so I cannot necessarily tell what she needs from me. Sometimes I don’t know if she wants distance or wants me to stay around and be there for her. My instinct is to stay close and never leave her completely alone. Do you know the best way to deal with someone who is experiencing this type of grief? Distance or close proximity? -- Helpless Friend

DEAR HELPLESS FRIEND: I’m so sorry to learn of your friend’s loss. What she is going through is incredibly difficult, and there is no prescription for how she should handle her grief -- nor how you can support her. Your question is a great one because chances are, there are times when your friend needs distance and other times when she needs loved ones close by. Since you are not psychic, you cannot know for sure which moment you are in. Naturally, this is a difficult time for you, too.

I recommend that you stay close -- but from a distance. Text her regularly, but don’t always ask how she’s doing. Send her thoughtful things, like uplifting quotes, funny memes, links to programs you think she might enjoy, an audiobook that seems like it would make her smile, photos of the two of you enjoying yourselves together, etc. Keep in touch. Call her occasionally. Invite her to go with you for a walk or a drive. Ask her if she needs anything. She may say little, but I’m sure she will appreciate your attentiveness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a strong suspicion that my co-worker stole money from me. I’m a waitress, and I left money in my apron one day when I took it off in the bathroom and left it in the stall. When I remembered, I rushed back to the bathroom, but of course it was too late. My apron was there, but the money was gone. There were only three of us working, and I saw the co-worker I suspect enter the bathroom at around the same time that I was exiting. It is possible that it wasn’t her, but there’s an even stronger possibility that it was her. I don’t want to accuse her of something she didn’t do, but I need to know. I have a growing animosity toward her because I suspect that she stole from me. What should I do? -- Missing Cash

DEAR MISSING CASH: I wish you had asked immediately if anyone had noticed cash in the bathroom. You could have said that you left your apron in there, and when you returned to get it, your tips were missing. You even could have asked this person directly if she took your money. Since time has passed, you are less likely to have anyone admit to the theft.

You have to let it go. You cannot prove who took your money. Harboring anger toward this woman is eating at you. That sentiment will not help you or your opinion about work. In the future, keep your money on your person at all times.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)