DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a really nice guy a few weeks ago, and we’ve been getting along really well. We’ve been on a couple of dates, we text all the time and I’m starting to really like him. There’s just one problem that I really cannot seem to get past: He has the same first name as my ex-boyfriend. Their name is kind of on the uncommon side, so this is a strange coincidence. I don’t know how far things can really go with someone who inadvertently makes me think of my ex-boyfriend whenever I talk to him. I want to tell him what my issue is, but I don’t know what to say or what he would even be able to do about it. How can I fix this problem? Am I overreacting? -- Same Names

DEAR SAME NAMES: If you truly like this new guy, tell him the truth. A lot of couples call each other by other names. Tell him you want to call him something different so that when you talk to him, it is he alone who comes to mind. If he has a nickname from his family, consider that. Or come up with a nickname together that you can call him. In time, the name thing may not matter, but in these early days, it may help to create a bridge to him and away from your ex.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My oldest son landed a great job in the same city that my parents, who are in their 70s, live in. They’ve been gracious enough to let him move in with them until he finds a place of his own. My concern is that my son is not being very cautious about their health. My parents are in the high-risk group for COVID and have not yet received the vaccine. My son is in his mid-20s, so I’m sure that he wants nothing more than to go out, have fun and meet new people, but I need him to take others into consideration as well. I’m scared my parents will be exposed or infected with the virus, and it will be my son’s fault. I have no way to regulate what he does and where he goes. What should I do? -- High-Risk

DEAR HIGH-RISK: Talk to your son about his habits and comings and goings. Ask him directly about how often he socializes, if and when he wears a mask, and how cautious he is being around his grandparents. If your son is unwilling to delay his fun for the sake of his grandparents’ health, you have a problem.

Speak to your parents. Find out from them how they feel about your son’s behavior. Ask specific questions about what they are observing. Evaluate what they have said, and help them to make a decision. They may need to ask your son to leave if he is not being safe enough. If they cannot do it, step in yourself and let your son know that he has to move out immediately.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend’s mother has been nice enough to let me rent out a room in her home. I’ve been staying with them for a few months now, and I pay only a few hundred dollars each month for rent -- a great deal considering I live in Los Angeles.

The only issue is my friend’s older brother does not clean up after himself at all. We have to share a bathroom, and he leaves it a complete mess every time he uses it. I’ve cleaned the bathroom by myself way too many times. I’ve asked him if he could at least keep the countertop clean; he promises that he will, but he never does. I can’t continue to live in filth. What should I do? -- Clean It Up

DEAR CLEAN IT UP: This may be a grin-and-bear-it experience. Clearly, your roommate’s mother has not required that he keep the bathroom clean. Otherwise, it would be. You can continue to ask him to do his part, but he has already demonstrated what his inclination is.

What you may consider doing is collecting his belongings and putting them in his room, including the toiletries that get strewn on the counter. But basic cleanliness may not be part of his routine, and you may not be able to get him to step up his hygienic practices. Bottom line: For the discounted rent, you may have to live with this inconvenience. Save your money so that you can move as soon as you are able.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been considering getting grief counseling to help me cope with the recent loss of my dog. I’ve had my dog since I was about 13 (I’m now 28), so this loss is hitting me hard. I feel like I’ve lost my best friend or a family member. I’m a little worried that it may seem a bit extreme to some people, but I know it could be helpful to me and my current mental state. I’ve had no experience with therapy or any type of counseling in the past, so I’m not sure what to expect or how to go about this. Do you think that grief counseling is a good idea for someone in my situation? Should I just wait it out? I’ve never experienced a loss quite like this before. -- Grieving

DEAR GRIEVING: Your grief is real. Treat it as such.

Start by researching a professional grief counselor who can help you through your feelings of loss. Avoid talking about your grief with friends or family members who are not compassionate. Not everyone can be there for you during this tender time. Don’t make the mistake of attempting to turn an unwilling loved one into a thoughtful listener. Be intentional about how you handle your grief.

Most important is for you to allow yourself to experience whatever you are feeling. I know friends who have held funerals for their pets, and select friends attended. Others have immediately gotten another pet to help reduce the pain of loss. Still others have suffered in silence. Choose the way forward that brings you the most comfort. Grief counseling could be your perfect solution.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I truly don’t like my best friend’s music. I’m a very honest person. Every time he asks me for feedback on a new song he’s dropping, I give it to him and I tell the truth; usually, I don’t like it. He thinks that I'm “hating” or being negative on purpose, but the truth is that I just don’t care for his music. I think he can do a lot better, and the music he comes out with is annoying and mediocre. Everyone else around him says that his music is great, but I think they’re just not keeping it real with him. I am scared that he can’t handle my blatant honesty and he’s going to write me off as a hater. What should I do? -- Music Critic

DEAR MUSIC CRITIC: You have stated your case to your friend. Stop repeating yourself. If he asks you again for your opinion on his music, resist bad-mouthing it. Instead, give him credit for sticking with it and following his dream.

For the sake of your friendship, the next time he asks for your opinion, you might want to refuse.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Nowadays, when I chat with my friends and family, I can’t help but talk about my job all the time. I can feel people around me getting annoyed, but I can’t help it. It’s the most interesting part of my life and pretty much the only thing that I do with my time. My question is, what else would I even talk about? I don’t date anymore, and since COVID-19 hit, I stopped going anywhere or doing anything besides work -- so what should I do? I don’t want to become the boring, work-obsessed friend, but I literally have nothing else going for myself. I have tried asking about my friends and their jobs when we chat, but the question always comes back to me. What should I do? -- Work-Obsessed

DEAR WORK-OBSESSED: You are the doing best you can. Give yourself a break. You can attempt to listen more, as you say you are doing. Continue to ask people about their lives and experiences. Generally, people do like to talk about themselves.

When it comes to your turn to talk, talk about what you care about. If that’s your work, so be it. If you choose, you can admit that right now, work is all you have. You pray that when things open up and you are able to be back out in the world, you can find a partner or cultivate new friendships. It’s OK for you to be yourself and talk about your life as it is. Just make sure you do not monopolize the conversation. No matter what the topic, you don’t want to take up too much oxygen. Pay attention to the flow of communication. Ask a question when it seems like it’s time for the conversation to change.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)