DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend’s mother has been nice enough to let me rent out a room in her home. I’ve been staying with them for a few months now, and I pay only a few hundred dollars each month for rent -- a great deal considering I live in Los Angeles.

The only issue is my friend’s older brother does not clean up after himself at all. We have to share a bathroom, and he leaves it a complete mess every time he uses it. I’ve cleaned the bathroom by myself way too many times. I’ve asked him if he could at least keep the countertop clean; he promises that he will, but he never does. I can’t continue to live in filth. What should I do? -- Clean It Up

DEAR CLEAN IT UP: This may be a grin-and-bear-it experience. Clearly, your roommate’s mother has not required that he keep the bathroom clean. Otherwise, it would be. You can continue to ask him to do his part, but he has already demonstrated what his inclination is.

What you may consider doing is collecting his belongings and putting them in his room, including the toiletries that get strewn on the counter. But basic cleanliness may not be part of his routine, and you may not be able to get him to step up his hygienic practices. Bottom line: For the discounted rent, you may have to live with this inconvenience. Save your money so that you can move as soon as you are able.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been considering getting grief counseling to help me cope with the recent loss of my dog. I’ve had my dog since I was about 13 (I’m now 28), so this loss is hitting me hard. I feel like I’ve lost my best friend or a family member. I’m a little worried that it may seem a bit extreme to some people, but I know it could be helpful to me and my current mental state. I’ve had no experience with therapy or any type of counseling in the past, so I’m not sure what to expect or how to go about this. Do you think that grief counseling is a good idea for someone in my situation? Should I just wait it out? I’ve never experienced a loss quite like this before. -- Grieving

DEAR GRIEVING: Your grief is real. Treat it as such.

Start by researching a professional grief counselor who can help you through your feelings of loss. Avoid talking about your grief with friends or family members who are not compassionate. Not everyone can be there for you during this tender time. Don’t make the mistake of attempting to turn an unwilling loved one into a thoughtful listener. Be intentional about how you handle your grief.

Most important is for you to allow yourself to experience whatever you are feeling. I know friends who have held funerals for their pets, and select friends attended. Others have immediately gotten another pet to help reduce the pain of loss. Still others have suffered in silence. Choose the way forward that brings you the most comfort. Grief counseling could be your perfect solution.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I truly don’t like my best friend’s music. I’m a very honest person. Every time he asks me for feedback on a new song he’s dropping, I give it to him and I tell the truth; usually, I don’t like it. He thinks that I'm “hating” or being negative on purpose, but the truth is that I just don’t care for his music. I think he can do a lot better, and the music he comes out with is annoying and mediocre. Everyone else around him says that his music is great, but I think they’re just not keeping it real with him. I am scared that he can’t handle my blatant honesty and he’s going to write me off as a hater. What should I do? -- Music Critic

DEAR MUSIC CRITIC: You have stated your case to your friend. Stop repeating yourself. If he asks you again for your opinion on his music, resist bad-mouthing it. Instead, give him credit for sticking with it and following his dream.

For the sake of your friendship, the next time he asks for your opinion, you might want to refuse.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Nowadays, when I chat with my friends and family, I can’t help but talk about my job all the time. I can feel people around me getting annoyed, but I can’t help it. It’s the most interesting part of my life and pretty much the only thing that I do with my time. My question is, what else would I even talk about? I don’t date anymore, and since COVID-19 hit, I stopped going anywhere or doing anything besides work -- so what should I do? I don’t want to become the boring, work-obsessed friend, but I literally have nothing else going for myself. I have tried asking about my friends and their jobs when we chat, but the question always comes back to me. What should I do? -- Work-Obsessed

DEAR WORK-OBSESSED: You are the doing best you can. Give yourself a break. You can attempt to listen more, as you say you are doing. Continue to ask people about their lives and experiences. Generally, people do like to talk about themselves.

When it comes to your turn to talk, talk about what you care about. If that’s your work, so be it. If you choose, you can admit that right now, work is all you have. You pray that when things open up and you are able to be back out in the world, you can find a partner or cultivate new friendships. It’s OK for you to be yourself and talk about your life as it is. Just make sure you do not monopolize the conversation. No matter what the topic, you don’t want to take up too much oxygen. Pay attention to the flow of communication. Ask a question when it seems like it’s time for the conversation to change.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a townhome between two other townhomes. I have the kindest and most mild-mannered neighbors ever. They aren’t loud or rude, and they always say hello -- sometimes they will even stop by with gifts!

The only problem with my neighbors is that they consistently leave their trash on their front porch, and the smell is awful. The way that our homes are set up, their porch is pretty much my porch. The only thing that separates our front yards is a flimsy gate. When they leave their trash on the porch, I can see and smell it. It’s gotten to the point where I can smell it from inside my home! I don’t want to keep having to ask them to remove it; I’ve left them a few notes before and that has changed nothing. I am not the only neighbor to complain about this. Is getting our landlord involved too harsh? -- Throw It Out

DEAR THROW IT OUT: Contact the landlord immediately. Just because you like your neighbors doesn’t mean you have to put up with this unhygienic practice. Speak to the landlord about the situation. Make it clear that the stench is wafting into your home, and it needs to be addressed right away. Stay on top of the landlord to ensure that it is handled.

If your neighbors get mad at you, remind them that you asked them many times to handle it. You like them, but not their trash.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband got my kids a dog without asking me first. While I am angry for a number of reasons, the main reason is that my kids are not responsible enough to care for an animal. It’s been two weeks, and I’ve already had to feed the dog myself because the kids and my husband forget. My options here are to give away the dog or care for it all by myself, and since I’m a working mom with two kids and a husband, I have decided on the former. I think my best option would be to do it while the kids are at school. I warned them that if they can’t care for the dog, I’ll have no option but to get rid of it. They have not been consistent about walking, feeding or cleaning up after the dog since I told them that. Am I making the right choice by giving away the dog while they are at school? What else could I do? -- Out of Options

DEAR OUT OF OPTIONS: Your frustration is understandable. You should speak to your husband one more time about the dog and make it clear to him that the dog is his responsibility. If he refuses to take over the care of the dog, it does make sense to find a home where the dog can be properly cared for.

People consider their dogs family. You want to treat all family members with respect and proper attention. If your family cannot do that and you do not have the capacity to make it happen by yourself, do the research and find a home that can love this dog.

Most towns have animal shelters. You can also contact the ASPCA, a well-respected organization that rehomes animals every day.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)