DEAR HARRIETTE: A guy who went to college with me calls every six months or so, always wanting me to hook him up. By the second sentence of the call, the ask is there, and it’s always for a significant favor that is far beyond my scope of interest, network or anything else. This guy is pushy and gross, as far as I am concerned. But we do share the bond of going to the same college a thousand years ago. I do my best to help anybody from my school that I can. But this has gotten out of control. How can I get him to back off? I have tried so many things, including hardly ever being able to help -- not because I am holding back, but more because I really can’t. -- Enough

DEAR ENOUGH: It is OK to stop engaging this man. If he has shown himself to you to be a taker and a user without ever reciprocating, you can make the choice that you do not have to talk to him anymore. That can be as simple as you no longer accepting his calls. Period.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I started a weight loss program at the beginning of the year, and we are continuing to do it the best we can. My sister, however, is doing much better than me. She is down almost 20 pounds. I’m down 7 and struggling to keep that off. Never mind I want to lose 40. I need to. She is probably 5 pounds from her goal already. I’m beginning to feel like a loser because I am going so much slower than my sister. She is very encouraging to me, but I’m at a loss. I have changed my eating habits. I am exercising with a trainer twice a week. What am I doing wrong? -- Not Fit

DEAR NOT FIT: It is wonderful for you and your sister to encourage each other, but do your best not to compete. You are two different people with different bodies, metabolism, etc. You are different, and your bodies are responding to your fitness and nutrition changes accordingly. The good news is that you are losing. Keep up the momentum. Doctors say that nutrition is even more important than exercise when it comes to weight loss, though both are essential for your overall health. Talk to your sister about exactly what she eats -- and what she doesn’t. You may get some further inspiration from her about her food choices. If you need to lose 40 pounds for health reasons, you may want to visit a nutritionist who can recommend a particular eating strategy for your body that will help you to reach your goal. It is important to follow an eating plan that works for you and that is not so strict that it could harm your body or provide only temporary results. I mention this because many people are gung-ho at the beginning of the year and begin to follow extreme weight loss programs only to find themselves having gained back whatever they lost plus some once they come off of it. Don’t do that. Decide on a strategy with your medical professional and stick to it. What I have learned that works for most people as a general rule is to eat less sugar, less salt, less meat, less fatty food, less processed food and more organic food, and to drink more water.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a big birthday coming up, and I don’t know what to do. Normally I would host a big party for myself -- not out of ego, but as a way to ensure that I can bring my friends together and we can all have a great time. I want to do something like that, but thanks to COVID-19, we still can’t get together in person. I feel like everybody is sick and tired of Zoom parties, plus I don’t know how to design one so that it would be fun and not solely focused on me. Do you have any ideas? -- Celebrate

DEAR CELEBRATE: Is there an outdoor area where you and some friends can gather that might give you a chance to meet up with some of your loved ones in person? A socially distanced small gathering might be a way to bring you and your friends joy.

A video party can also be fun, but that, too, should be limited in scope. If you have too many people on the call, it will be hard for people to talk. Be selective with your guest list, and dream up fun activities for your guests to participate in, such as memory swapping about great experiences. Some people request friends to send in short videos when they are unable to join a planned call. Still others host smaller gatherings that can be intimate moments to connect with loved ones for your special day, but not all at once -- kind of like going out for coffee or drinks with a few groups of people. Extending your celebration to a week or a month of smaller engagements may be fulfilling for all!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been really nervous about work and my future for the past few months. I know I’m not alone, but that doesn’t change how I feel. I have been noticing that my teeth hurt in the morning; I think I have been grinding them at night. I don’t feel myself doing it, but I have not been sleeping well. I feel exhausted when I wake up. I’m now worrying that I could crack my teeth from grinding them too hard, and I have no idea how to stop given I’m not certain that I’m even doing it. What do you think I should do about my situation? -- Undone

DEAR UNDONE: Take a deep breath, and trust that you are going to be able to get to the bottom of your troubles. Since your teeth are hurting you, start by making a dental appointment. Your dentist can examine your teeth to make sure that they are not in jeopardy of loosening or falling out. A dentist can also prescribe mouth guards to protect you when you sleep, if needed.

Also, consider seeing a therapist. Your worries about your life and your future may be the source of your physical discomfort. Talking to a mental health specialist may help you to unpack your feelings and figure out the best way forward. By facing your fears and considering how to tackle each one, you may be able to gain control over your worries and define steps for greater security and peace of mind all the way around.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been so busy at work that it has been hard to keep everything organized. My boss keeps giving me more and more assignments because she says I am the most capable member of the team. I appreciate that, but it’s becoming too much. Last week, I missed a couple of key deadlines. That is not my way. I know it was because I overlooked them, trying to add on the new work that my boss just gave me. How can I talk to her about the workload without seeming ungrateful? I want to be promoted and to be thought of favorably. I’m afraid that it’s all about to fall apart, though, because it is just too much. -- Overwhelmed

DEAR OVERWHELMED: Request a meeting with your boss, and give her a complete update. Thank her for the opportunities she is offering you, and acknowledge that you appreciate her faith in you to get the job done. Point out your successes so that she can see what you are accomplishing. Then pivot and express your concerns. Tell her that you are worried that things are beginning to fall through the cracks and that you would like to request help to keep the workflow going effectively. Essentially, rather than requesting to give work back to your boss, suggest that your boss entrust you with managing support staff to ensure that everything is handled well. This approach will show your boss that you are being proactive. You are not saying no to the added work, but instead yes -- but you need help in order to get it done. You can assign and oversee that help with her blessing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have called my mother every night after work for about 20 years. She is up in age now, and I can tell that it is hard for her to stay awake for my call. I live on the West Coast and she’s on the East Coast, so getting the time right has always been tough. But now I am lucky if I reach her twice a week before she has gone to sleep. How can I keep close to my elderly mom when our decades-long rhythm is broken? -- New Routine

DEAR NEW ROUTINE: As hard as it feels right now to change, change is an integral part of life. Your mother is having to adjust to so many things, including managing during COVID-19, which has left many elders isolated. Add to that her internal clock changing due to her advancing age, and life is simply different. In the past, it may have been a delight many times and also a challenge for your mother to stay up late in order to talk to you. Even though she surely has cherished your calls, it is likely that the time difference has sometimes been hard on her.

Rather than longing for what you no longer have -- her ability to be more accommodating to the time difference -- celebrate what you do have. Schedule your twice-weekly calls so that your mother and you will look forward to them. Catch up as you have in the past, making sure to listen closely for how aware and in tune she is. Remind her of when you will call again so that she remembers your new rhythm.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)