DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a big birthday coming up, and I don’t know what to do. Normally I would host a big party for myself -- not out of ego, but as a way to ensure that I can bring my friends together and we can all have a great time. I want to do something like that, but thanks to COVID-19, we still can’t get together in person. I feel like everybody is sick and tired of Zoom parties, plus I don’t know how to design one so that it would be fun and not solely focused on me. Do you have any ideas? -- Celebrate

DEAR CELEBRATE: Is there an outdoor area where you and some friends can gather that might give you a chance to meet up with some of your loved ones in person? A socially distanced small gathering might be a way to bring you and your friends joy.

A video party can also be fun, but that, too, should be limited in scope. If you have too many people on the call, it will be hard for people to talk. Be selective with your guest list, and dream up fun activities for your guests to participate in, such as memory swapping about great experiences. Some people request friends to send in short videos when they are unable to join a planned call. Still others host smaller gatherings that can be intimate moments to connect with loved ones for your special day, but not all at once -- kind of like going out for coffee or drinks with a few groups of people. Extending your celebration to a week or a month of smaller engagements may be fulfilling for all!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been really nervous about work and my future for the past few months. I know I’m not alone, but that doesn’t change how I feel. I have been noticing that my teeth hurt in the morning; I think I have been grinding them at night. I don’t feel myself doing it, but I have not been sleeping well. I feel exhausted when I wake up. I’m now worrying that I could crack my teeth from grinding them too hard, and I have no idea how to stop given I’m not certain that I’m even doing it. What do you think I should do about my situation? -- Undone

DEAR UNDONE: Take a deep breath, and trust that you are going to be able to get to the bottom of your troubles. Since your teeth are hurting you, start by making a dental appointment. Your dentist can examine your teeth to make sure that they are not in jeopardy of loosening or falling out. A dentist can also prescribe mouth guards to protect you when you sleep, if needed.

Also, consider seeing a therapist. Your worries about your life and your future may be the source of your physical discomfort. Talking to a mental health specialist may help you to unpack your feelings and figure out the best way forward. By facing your fears and considering how to tackle each one, you may be able to gain control over your worries and define steps for greater security and peace of mind all the way around.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been so busy at work that it has been hard to keep everything organized. My boss keeps giving me more and more assignments because she says I am the most capable member of the team. I appreciate that, but it’s becoming too much. Last week, I missed a couple of key deadlines. That is not my way. I know it was because I overlooked them, trying to add on the new work that my boss just gave me. How can I talk to her about the workload without seeming ungrateful? I want to be promoted and to be thought of favorably. I’m afraid that it’s all about to fall apart, though, because it is just too much. -- Overwhelmed

DEAR OVERWHELMED: Request a meeting with your boss, and give her a complete update. Thank her for the opportunities she is offering you, and acknowledge that you appreciate her faith in you to get the job done. Point out your successes so that she can see what you are accomplishing. Then pivot and express your concerns. Tell her that you are worried that things are beginning to fall through the cracks and that you would like to request help to keep the workflow going effectively. Essentially, rather than requesting to give work back to your boss, suggest that your boss entrust you with managing support staff to ensure that everything is handled well. This approach will show your boss that you are being proactive. You are not saying no to the added work, but instead yes -- but you need help in order to get it done. You can assign and oversee that help with her blessing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have called my mother every night after work for about 20 years. She is up in age now, and I can tell that it is hard for her to stay awake for my call. I live on the West Coast and she’s on the East Coast, so getting the time right has always been tough. But now I am lucky if I reach her twice a week before she has gone to sleep. How can I keep close to my elderly mom when our decades-long rhythm is broken? -- New Routine

DEAR NEW ROUTINE: As hard as it feels right now to change, change is an integral part of life. Your mother is having to adjust to so many things, including managing during COVID-19, which has left many elders isolated. Add to that her internal clock changing due to her advancing age, and life is simply different. In the past, it may have been a delight many times and also a challenge for your mother to stay up late in order to talk to you. Even though she surely has cherished your calls, it is likely that the time difference has sometimes been hard on her.

Rather than longing for what you no longer have -- her ability to be more accommodating to the time difference -- celebrate what you do have. Schedule your twice-weekly calls so that your mother and you will look forward to them. Catch up as you have in the past, making sure to listen closely for how aware and in tune she is. Remind her of when you will call again so that she remembers your new rhythm.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I go outside in my neighborhood and a little bit beyond, I see more businesses shutting down. It is so depressing. I realize it’s been almost a year since COVID-19 stopped us in our tracks. I have been working from home ever since, and I have been afraid to do much of anything. But I do try to spend a few dollars here and there to help out the local shops. I feel so sad. I guess my little sandwich purchase or occasional trip to the dry cleaners hasn’t been enough to keep these stores open. Obviously, I know they need more than me, but I see whole blocks of businesses shut down. I’m so worried about what is going to happen. Is there anything more that I can do to help? I see a few establishments hanging on, but I can only spend so much. Is this a lost cause? -- Helping My Neighbors

DEAR HELPING MY NEIGHBORS: I, too, watch with horror as blocks and blocks of businesses are shut down where I live in New York City. It is frightening. While you, as an individual, may feel that you can’t make a difference, don’t believe that. Just as each vote counts in an election, each purchase counts toward keeping small (and large) businesses open. To make a bigger impact, reach out to your neighbors and friends, and suggest that all of you make a concerted effort to support local businesses with your consistent patronage.

You can go a step further and speak to your favorite businesses to find out how they are doing. If you find that some are in serious, immediate jeopardy of closing, you can rally your friends to help them stay afloat. While we cannot save all businesses, it may be possible to keep some alive. Hopefully there will be an additional stimulus package soon that will specifically support the thousands of small businesses that are currently in jeopardy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was going through old photos recently as I was preparing a gift for my family, and I got to see an instant replay of how much I have changed. I have had medical problems for the past few years. Well, the photos show just how much weight I have gained in that period of time. My doctors have told me that if I lose weight, I may be able to reverse some of my health problems. Up to now, I haven’t had the discipline or energy to do what it takes to lose weight. These pictures make it clear that I had better do something quick. Is it awful that vanity is now driving my focus on health? I need to do something, and these pictures were like a slap in the face. -- Too Vain

DEAR TOO VAIN: Whatever it takes to jump-start your health care plan, be grateful for it! If you are clear that you need to lose weight to get healthier, and these pictures helped to open your eyes -- thank the photos.

Your journey to better health can be initiated by vanity. That’s fine. Just don’t stop there. Move your body. Be mindful of what you eat and drink, and commit to getting healthy for your life. The bonus, if you are consistent, is that your overall health will likely improve, AND you will look better!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)