DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I go outside in my neighborhood and a little bit beyond, I see more businesses shutting down. It is so depressing. I realize it’s been almost a year since COVID-19 stopped us in our tracks. I have been working from home ever since, and I have been afraid to do much of anything. But I do try to spend a few dollars here and there to help out the local shops. I feel so sad. I guess my little sandwich purchase or occasional trip to the dry cleaners hasn’t been enough to keep these stores open. Obviously, I know they need more than me, but I see whole blocks of businesses shut down. I’m so worried about what is going to happen. Is there anything more that I can do to help? I see a few establishments hanging on, but I can only spend so much. Is this a lost cause? -- Helping My Neighbors

DEAR HELPING MY NEIGHBORS: I, too, watch with horror as blocks and blocks of businesses are shut down where I live in New York City. It is frightening. While you, as an individual, may feel that you can’t make a difference, don’t believe that. Just as each vote counts in an election, each purchase counts toward keeping small (and large) businesses open. To make a bigger impact, reach out to your neighbors and friends, and suggest that all of you make a concerted effort to support local businesses with your consistent patronage.

You can go a step further and speak to your favorite businesses to find out how they are doing. If you find that some are in serious, immediate jeopardy of closing, you can rally your friends to help them stay afloat. While we cannot save all businesses, it may be possible to keep some alive. Hopefully there will be an additional stimulus package soon that will specifically support the thousands of small businesses that are currently in jeopardy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was going through old photos recently as I was preparing a gift for my family, and I got to see an instant replay of how much I have changed. I have had medical problems for the past few years. Well, the photos show just how much weight I have gained in that period of time. My doctors have told me that if I lose weight, I may be able to reverse some of my health problems. Up to now, I haven’t had the discipline or energy to do what it takes to lose weight. These pictures make it clear that I had better do something quick. Is it awful that vanity is now driving my focus on health? I need to do something, and these pictures were like a slap in the face. -- Too Vain

DEAR TOO VAIN: Whatever it takes to jump-start your health care plan, be grateful for it! If you are clear that you need to lose weight to get healthier, and these pictures helped to open your eyes -- thank the photos.

Your journey to better health can be initiated by vanity. That’s fine. Just don’t stop there. Move your body. Be mindful of what you eat and drink, and commit to getting healthy for your life. The bonus, if you are consistent, is that your overall health will likely improve, AND you will look better!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend comes from an abusive background. He has experienced a lot of terrible things, such as sexual, physical and mental abuse. I can tell he is still heavily affected by his childhood trauma because he can go from zero to 100 real quick. He is a very logical and sweet person, but sometimes those bursts of anger consume him. Although he is seeking some therapy, sometimes I am concerned whether that anger and aggression will ever become directed toward me. I do not think that he would ever hurt me, but I am also a realist and understand that anything can happen. Should I be more concerned about this? What are ways that I can help him? Do you think I should try to talk to him about seeking more therapy? -- Concerned

DEAR CONCERNED: I am sorry to hear that your boyfriend has had so much hardship in his life. It is good that he is seeking help. You may want to ask him if he would be willing to go to therapy with you as well. Explain that you care deeply for him and want to learn to be the best that you can be in a relationship with him. A couples therapist may be able to provide the two of you with tools that will help you manage disagreements, anger and aggression. If you have the courage to talk about your concerns in front of him with a professional, you may gain insight into how to best manage the situation and grow as a couple. Go for it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After some irreconcilable differences with my business partner, we have decided to part ways. Our disagreement was a huge misunderstanding, but things spiraled out of control and ended in a very messy way. Regardless of what happened between us, I haven’t spoken out about her publicly, but she’s handling it in the complete opposite way.

Since our falling-out, my former business partner has sent countless emails to our colleagues, spreading lies about me. She has tried to interfere with my professional relationships as well as my personal ones. Everyone is suggesting that I take her to court for defamation of character, but I lack the time or resources. What would you suggest I do? -- Can’t Sue

DEAR CAN’T SUE: You cannot afford to stay silent while your business partner actively works to destroy your reputation. Craft a statement to your colleagues and friends saying how unfortunate the demise of your professional partnership is. Rather than addressing each of her lies, reinforce the positive. Let them know what you are currently doing, and invite them to be in touch. You can make a general statement indicating that it is unfortunate that your business partner has chosen to air her unfounded ideas publicly, but you want to assure them that you are still in business and available to work with them.

You may also consider hiring an attorney briefly to send a cease and desist letter to your former business partner indicating that if she does not stop, you will sue. Often, the threat of a lawsuit can be enough to put out a fire like this. If not, you may have to invest money into the preservation of your reputation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an older woman, and I would like to leave the job that I’ve been working at for decades. I find that my creativity and my desire to do something different are not being fulfilled. I fear that it is too late for me to follow my dreams, and I have too much to lose -- I am in my 50s now, and I have a family to support. I know that people say it is never too late to follow your dreams, but I am trying to be pragmatic. I cannot abandon my job altogether, but I fear if I don’t leave now, I’ll be stuck here for the rest of my life. What steps should I take? -- Practicality

DEAR PRACTICALITY: Make a plan. Rather than doing anything rash, think about what you would like to do. Perhaps there is a hobby that you can practice that will allow you the creative outlet that you crave. Sometimes adding an activity outside of the workplace can be incredibly satisfying because it also helps you to nurture your whole life, not just your work life.

If there is a career change that you desire, figure out what it is. Do you have the skills, or should you take a class to get yourself ready? Can you volunteer in that area of interest in your free time? Volunteering is an effective way of gaining skills and a soft entry into a new experience. The point: Don’t give up. Get creative. It is never too late!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m having second thoughts about how I ended my last relationship. It’s been a few weeks since we’ve spoken, so it seems a bit random to try to rehash anything now, but I feel that I didn’t say everything I wanted to say to my ex. I feel like I was too cold toward her. I don’t have any intention of getting back together, but I think it would be a good idea to have a talk with her and gain some closure. My female friends are telling me that it’s better to just cut off communication completely and let bygones be bygones, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I want to tell her that I’m sorry. What do you think? -- Closure

DEAR CLOSURE: If you believe that you were unnecessarily unkind or rude or otherwise hurtful to your ex, offer to apologize. Be sure not to confuse your message, though. Reach out to her and request to meet or talk. Express your regret for being unkind to her. Be specific so that she knows what you are talking about.

I often say that endings are more important than beginnings. I believe this wholeheartedly, as I have seen how the ways in which people walk away from relationships can be unnecessarily callous and devastating. It is so much better for everyone if you bring your best self to the end of an engagement, whether it is a job, a friendship, a love relationship or anything else. When we begin things, we focus on showing our best selves. Do yourself and others a favor by bringing that great, compassionate you when you are about to close doors, too.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)