DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend comes from an abusive background. He has experienced a lot of terrible things, such as sexual, physical and mental abuse. I can tell he is still heavily affected by his childhood trauma because he can go from zero to 100 real quick. He is a very logical and sweet person, but sometimes those bursts of anger consume him. Although he is seeking some therapy, sometimes I am concerned whether that anger and aggression will ever become directed toward me. I do not think that he would ever hurt me, but I am also a realist and understand that anything can happen. Should I be more concerned about this? What are ways that I can help him? Do you think I should try to talk to him about seeking more therapy? -- Concerned

DEAR CONCERNED: I am sorry to hear that your boyfriend has had so much hardship in his life. It is good that he is seeking help. You may want to ask him if he would be willing to go to therapy with you as well. Explain that you care deeply for him and want to learn to be the best that you can be in a relationship with him. A couples therapist may be able to provide the two of you with tools that will help you manage disagreements, anger and aggression. If you have the courage to talk about your concerns in front of him with a professional, you may gain insight into how to best manage the situation and grow as a couple. Go for it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After some irreconcilable differences with my business partner, we have decided to part ways. Our disagreement was a huge misunderstanding, but things spiraled out of control and ended in a very messy way. Regardless of what happened between us, I haven’t spoken out about her publicly, but she’s handling it in the complete opposite way.

Since our falling-out, my former business partner has sent countless emails to our colleagues, spreading lies about me. She has tried to interfere with my professional relationships as well as my personal ones. Everyone is suggesting that I take her to court for defamation of character, but I lack the time or resources. What would you suggest I do? -- Can’t Sue

DEAR CAN’T SUE: You cannot afford to stay silent while your business partner actively works to destroy your reputation. Craft a statement to your colleagues and friends saying how unfortunate the demise of your professional partnership is. Rather than addressing each of her lies, reinforce the positive. Let them know what you are currently doing, and invite them to be in touch. You can make a general statement indicating that it is unfortunate that your business partner has chosen to air her unfounded ideas publicly, but you want to assure them that you are still in business and available to work with them.

You may also consider hiring an attorney briefly to send a cease and desist letter to your former business partner indicating that if she does not stop, you will sue. Often, the threat of a lawsuit can be enough to put out a fire like this. If not, you may have to invest money into the preservation of your reputation.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an older woman, and I would like to leave the job that I’ve been working at for decades. I find that my creativity and my desire to do something different are not being fulfilled. I fear that it is too late for me to follow my dreams, and I have too much to lose -- I am in my 50s now, and I have a family to support. I know that people say it is never too late to follow your dreams, but I am trying to be pragmatic. I cannot abandon my job altogether, but I fear if I don’t leave now, I’ll be stuck here for the rest of my life. What steps should I take? -- Practicality

DEAR PRACTICALITY: Make a plan. Rather than doing anything rash, think about what you would like to do. Perhaps there is a hobby that you can practice that will allow you the creative outlet that you crave. Sometimes adding an activity outside of the workplace can be incredibly satisfying because it also helps you to nurture your whole life, not just your work life.

If there is a career change that you desire, figure out what it is. Do you have the skills, or should you take a class to get yourself ready? Can you volunteer in that area of interest in your free time? Volunteering is an effective way of gaining skills and a soft entry into a new experience. The point: Don’t give up. Get creative. It is never too late!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m having second thoughts about how I ended my last relationship. It’s been a few weeks since we’ve spoken, so it seems a bit random to try to rehash anything now, but I feel that I didn’t say everything I wanted to say to my ex. I feel like I was too cold toward her. I don’t have any intention of getting back together, but I think it would be a good idea to have a talk with her and gain some closure. My female friends are telling me that it’s better to just cut off communication completely and let bygones be bygones, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I want to tell her that I’m sorry. What do you think? -- Closure

DEAR CLOSURE: If you believe that you were unnecessarily unkind or rude or otherwise hurtful to your ex, offer to apologize. Be sure not to confuse your message, though. Reach out to her and request to meet or talk. Express your regret for being unkind to her. Be specific so that she knows what you are talking about.

I often say that endings are more important than beginnings. I believe this wholeheartedly, as I have seen how the ways in which people walk away from relationships can be unnecessarily callous and devastating. It is so much better for everyone if you bring your best self to the end of an engagement, whether it is a job, a friendship, a love relationship or anything else. When we begin things, we focus on showing our best selves. Do yourself and others a favor by bringing that great, compassionate you when you are about to close doors, too.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend won’t stop making comments about my weight gain. I know that I’ve gained weight. I’m probably about 20 pounds heavier since the start of the pandemic, but I’m taking the necessary steps to lose the weight now. Even when I feel a bit healthier and smaller, she will still find a way to sneak in an uncalled-for remark. She’s someone who has always been on the thinner side, so she has no perception of how hurtful those comments can be. Even when she means her comments as compliments, they make me uncomfortable and insecure for the rest of the day. I’m growing to resent her. Do you think it’s worth addressing, or should I cut her off? My other friends think I need to kick her to the curb, but I’m unsure. -- Weight Gain

DEAR WEIGHT GAIN: Tell your friend you want to talk to her, then lay it all on the line. Point out that whether or not she realizes it, her comments are hurtful. You are completely aware of the fact that you have gained weight, and you have started to do something about it. Having her constantly berating you for how you look is not helpful. Tell her that she is constantly hurting your feelings and that you want her to stop. If she cannot figure out how to be supportive, make it clear that you will have to distance yourself from her.

There’s a chance that your friend isn’t conscious of her ongoing criticism of you. If she honestly attempts to curb her comments, keep her in the friend group. Otherwise, pivot away from her and toward your healthy practices and supportive friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m starting to suspect that my friend is using me for my platform. I have a music blog that is starting to gain some traction, and whenever we speak, he asks about placement for his music on my blog. To be fair, he was one of the first people who showed support when I began my blog. He was always giving me random shoutouts and reposts, and he “liked” all of my content.

Now that my blog is starting to stand on its own, I’m wondering if the support was genuine. The other day, he asked if I could interview him on my page, and he spent the entire interview plugging his music and merchandise. I still really appreciate the love that he shows to my blog, but it’s starting to feel a little excessive. He pretty much expects me to post about him whenever he wants. What do you suggest I do? -- Blogger

DEAR BLOGGER: You can remain grateful to this friend who helped you in the early days of establishing your blog without being beholden to him. Establish criteria for how you create content for your blog. What do you want to talk about? Who do you want to feature? Ideally, what kinds of stories do you want to share? Think about these things very clearly, and write them down as editorial guidelines. This can include guests' product promotion.

As far as your friend goes, make sure you follow your guidelines with him. You can tell him that you have to wait a bit to interview him because you just had him at a particular time, and it’s too soon. Point to the guidelines to back yourself up. Remain grateful to him, but stand your ground. You do not have to do what he says.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)