DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend won’t stop making comments about my weight gain. I know that I’ve gained weight. I’m probably about 20 pounds heavier since the start of the pandemic, but I’m taking the necessary steps to lose the weight now. Even when I feel a bit healthier and smaller, she will still find a way to sneak in an uncalled-for remark. She’s someone who has always been on the thinner side, so she has no perception of how hurtful those comments can be. Even when she means her comments as compliments, they make me uncomfortable and insecure for the rest of the day. I’m growing to resent her. Do you think it’s worth addressing, or should I cut her off? My other friends think I need to kick her to the curb, but I’m unsure. -- Weight Gain

DEAR WEIGHT GAIN: Tell your friend you want to talk to her, then lay it all on the line. Point out that whether or not she realizes it, her comments are hurtful. You are completely aware of the fact that you have gained weight, and you have started to do something about it. Having her constantly berating you for how you look is not helpful. Tell her that she is constantly hurting your feelings and that you want her to stop. If she cannot figure out how to be supportive, make it clear that you will have to distance yourself from her.

There’s a chance that your friend isn’t conscious of her ongoing criticism of you. If she honestly attempts to curb her comments, keep her in the friend group. Otherwise, pivot away from her and toward your healthy practices and supportive friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m starting to suspect that my friend is using me for my platform. I have a music blog that is starting to gain some traction, and whenever we speak, he asks about placement for his music on my blog. To be fair, he was one of the first people who showed support when I began my blog. He was always giving me random shoutouts and reposts, and he “liked” all of my content.

Now that my blog is starting to stand on its own, I’m wondering if the support was genuine. The other day, he asked if I could interview him on my page, and he spent the entire interview plugging his music and merchandise. I still really appreciate the love that he shows to my blog, but it’s starting to feel a little excessive. He pretty much expects me to post about him whenever he wants. What do you suggest I do? -- Blogger

DEAR BLOGGER: You can remain grateful to this friend who helped you in the early days of establishing your blog without being beholden to him. Establish criteria for how you create content for your blog. What do you want to talk about? Who do you want to feature? Ideally, what kinds of stories do you want to share? Think about these things very clearly, and write them down as editorial guidelines. This can include guests' product promotion.

As far as your friend goes, make sure you follow your guidelines with him. You can tell him that you have to wait a bit to interview him because you just had him at a particular time, and it’s too soon. Point to the guidelines to back yourself up. Remain grateful to him, but stand your ground. You do not have to do what he says.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been married for six years and have two beautiful children (ages 2 and 3). About a year ago -- around the time the pandemic started -- I lost my job. At first, my husband was extremely sympathetic and supportive about my struggle to find new work, but now it seems his patience is wearing thin. He makes passive aggressive remarks about being “the only one who pays the bills” and gets angry with me when I spend “too much money” on groceries.

I think he’s looking at it the wrong way. Because of the virus, our kids have not resumed school, and I think it’s convenient that I am able to take care of them during the day. If I were working right now, we’d be spending thousands per month on child care. I’ve had no luck in finding a new job, and, honestly, I do not really want to do anything but stay home and care for my kids. What should I do? -- Mom of Two

DEAR MOM OF TWO: Sadly, women have fared the worst during the COVID-19 pandemic. Millions have lost their jobs. According to a McKinsey report (bit.ly/372FpV3), women are 1.8 times more likely to lose their jobs during the pandemic than men and currently represent 54% of the current job losses in our country. Moms of young children have it especially hard, as you see, because of child care challenges.

You and your husband need to talk openly and honestly about life as it is today. The stress is real for both of you. Together, you have to figure out a way forward. Make a budget that is as lean as possible. Get support if you need it, including visiting a local food bank. Agree to work through this together. You can also look for online work, like telemarketing or data entry, with flexible hours that you can do from home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a feeling that my best friend is lying to me about still seeing her ex. They were together for quite some time, and while he did several awful things to her over the course of their relationship, the final straw for her was when she found out he was cheating with one of her classmates. She cried over him for days and swore she would never speak to him again. That was about two months ago.

We each have access to location services on the other’s phone, so I can see everywhere she goes. Most nights -- when she leaves her location on -- I can see that she’s at his apartment complex. I understand that in the grand scheme of things, it isn’t really my business, but that’s not how our friendship works. We’re always supposed to be 100% honest with each other and promise not to judge. While I wouldn’t approve of them being back together, it does hurt that she doesn’t think she can tell me about it. Should I ask her directly? I’m scared to overstep and cause a rift. -- Suspicious

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Your friend is probably worried that you will judge her. Ask her if she is OK. Ask if she is seeing her ex again. Encourage her to talk about what’s going on in her life. Suggest that she spend some time alone so she can sort through her feelings. Remind her that you are there for her -- always.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently gained a lot of attention through social media (Instagram specifically) as a brand influencer. I get paid a substantial amount of money to simply take a few pictures and promote brands from all over the world.

My friends don’t seem to be supportive of my career at all. Whenever I mention a new sponsorship or brand endorsement, they veer the conversation in another direction almost immediately. They never ask about the work I do, but when I mention it, they are quick to downplay my accomplishments. They’ve made comments asking if I was still interested in a “real job” before. I’m proud of the work I do and attention I’ve gained -- why can’t my friends seem to be proud of me as well? -- Influencer

DEAR INFLUENCER: You are going to need to get recognition for your professional accomplishments from other sources outside of your friend group. That may seem sad to you, since you are close to these people, but know that it isn’t unusual for friends and loved ones to not “get” you in certain ways. It is possible for people to sincerely love you without understanding or appreciating the work that you do or the contributions that you make in other parts of your life.

In your case, you are involved in a relatively new means of earning a living. For some, it may seem trendy and possibly fleeting. They may not understand and may have opinions based on whatever they think an “influencer” is. Rather than fretting over how to convince them of your value, plot your course. Figure out how you can build your reputation and your business. The main caution I would offer is that as you align yourself with various brands, make sure that you do so only when the brand is reflective of your values. Those simple posts that you describe that go all over the world represent you and what you stand for. I strongly suggest that you evaluate each brand, each photo and each post before you put them into the universe. Once it’s out there, you cannot take it back.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been with my boyfriend for about two months now. When I first met him, I noticed he had quite a few woman friends he was very close with. It was never an issue for me before we began dating officially, but now I find myself becoming increasingly uncomfortable with some of his friendships. On his birthday, one of his woman friends wrote a very long and intimate birthday post on Facebook. Another woman friend sent him what looked like an expensive floral arrangement on that same day. I don’t want to seem insecure or crazy, but I think they are overstepping, and I wish he would set some boundaries. What should I do? -- Uncomfortable

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: You are new in your relationship, and it seems like you want to deepen your commitment. It’s time to talk to your boyfriend. Tell him what you are hoping for with him, and note that some of his woman friends seem a bit territorial and intimate with him. Ask him to get them to give you two space. Suggest that he let them know that you two are exclusive now, and he’s off the market.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)