DEAR HARRIETTE: Since the pandemic started, my husband has been working at home. He still has his job, thank God, but he hardly ever goes in. I’m so worried that he will end up losing his job. He is already a senior citizen. I can’t imagine what he will do if he has to look for work. He has been taking real estate investing courses, but I can’t envision him doing that successfully. My husband is not a salesman in any way. He refuses to speak up at work to say he is available for an assignment. In real estate, you have to hustle. It’s all about being assertive and putting yourself out there. I know my husband means well, but I think it’s unrealistic for him to believe that he will be able to grow a real estate business when he lacks the people skills that go with it. How can I encourage him to make a responsible choice without hurting his feelings? I’m scared to death that we will end up with nothing if he continues down this path. I work, by the way, but I don’t make enough money to take care of the both of us. -- Supporting My Man

DEAR SUPPORTING MY MAN: Tread lightly. Since your husband has chosen a second career, you don’t want to dash his hopes. Instead, encourage him to role-play with you. What will he be doing if he is in real estate? Ask him to practice on you. How will he pitch to a potential buyer? What would a day look like? Encourage your husband to talk through all of the details of this new line of work so that he can see for himself what it will look like. Let him discover through these conversations whether he believes he has the aptitude for it. Additionally, talk to him about retirement and how you will be able to manage as a family. Do not give up. Keep the conversation going so that you can get to the topics that must be discussed.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was going through some boxes and things, trying to organize my house, and I came across some old love letters that I had written to a man I used to date many moons ago. While we dated way before I met my husband, I bet that these letters would be disturbing for him to find. I kept them for so long because of the nostalgia. I really loved this man. I think that I should dispose of them, but I’m finding it hard to do. What do you think? -- Letting Go

DEAR LETTING GO: Put yourself in your husband’s shoes. How would you feel if you came across some of his old love letters? It’s time to shred them, burn them or otherwise safely dispose of them. Live in the present. It’s safer and can be more fulfilling.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was just looking back at old photos of my family. A little more than a year ago, we hosted a pretty extravagant party for my mother’s birthday. All of her friends came, and it was beautiful to be with everyone. Even though all of her friends are aging, they were doing pretty well.

A year later, after quarantining for so long, it’s just terrible how they are. My mother has suffered tremendous memory loss; I’m sure it’s due to the isolation. She survived COVID-19 -- as did a few of her friends -- but it took a lot out of them. I want to do something for them to motivate them to live, but we still can’t get together. Do you have any ideas? -- Inspiring the Elders

DEAR INSPIRING THE ELDERS: One of the ravages of COVID-19 is social life. This has been difficult to manage, especially for older people. Memory loss is one of many side effects that people have been reporting about their loved ones during this time. If your mother and her friends have access to electronic tablets with screens large enough for them to easily see images on them, you may be able to use technology to create a virtual event for them.

Plan a date and time when everybody joins a videoconferencing call. You can use Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or some other technological platform. For those who are living with adult children, caregivers can help. For those living in retirement communities or nursing homes, ask management to let them borrow a tablet. They should be able to set it up and get everyone together. In this way, the friends can see and talk to each other, preferably prompted by some of you. Don’t make the gathering too big. Instead, you may want to organize several smaller groups so that everybody gets a chance to talk.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Dating during COVID-19 sucks. I had just started talking to a guy at school when everything got shut down. We all went home for what turned out to be months. He and I kept “talking” via social media, but it didn’t amount to much. Now we are back at college, but it’s awkward. I saw him the other day, but students are all keeping our distance. Plus, nothing ever really started with this guy. I thought we might like each other, but we didn’t get the chance. Should I ask him if he would like to get together? I liked him enough before to want to get to know him better. He seems nice. I really don’t know what to do. -- Next Steps

DEAR NEXT STEPS: If you are interested in this guy, reach out to him and be direct. Remind him that just as you two were getting to know each other last year, the pandemic put a stop to everything. Ask him if he would like to (safely) get together now to do something normal, like see each other in person and talk. Chances are, you will get a simple yes or no. Take it from there.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: The COVID-19 vaccine is now available to many who choose to get it. I have decided not to get the vaccine. I just feel like it's too rushed and new, and we don’t really know the effect of it just yet. I am a supervisor at a warehouse, and I received a memo that I was to tell my subordinates that in order to continue to work safely in the warehouse, every employee will be expected to get the COVID-19 vaccine and provide proof of having received it. I do not feel comfortable ordering others to do something for their health that they may not want just to keep their job. I feel like this is so wrong and possibly illegal. We are a small, privately owned company, but it doesn’t feel right. How can I talk to management about how wrong I think this is? Do you think I will lose my job over this? -- No Vaccine

DEAR NO VACCINE: This is tricky, given that we are living in dangerous times, healthwise. Every company and every individual is trying to figure out what to do. You are justified in your feelings of concern about the vaccines. For you, I highly recommend paying close attention to what the medical profession is saying. Follow the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (cdc.gov) to get regular updates on the progress of the vaccine.

As far as your job goes, while it is not yet considered illegal to refuse the vaccine, it certainly will cause a conflict if a supervisor refuses to follow the recommended protocol and, in turn, refuses to recommend it to staff. If you look at your employee handbook, there are probably any number of guidelines that are meant to be followed; they may not be legally binding but are nonetheless expected. As a leader, if you stand your ground and refuse to follow directions, it may be grounds for dismissal or transfer out of your leadership position.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a professor, and I have been hosting all of my classes virtually, which, as I am sure you can imagine, has been challenging. Some students barely show up, and the ones that do are not paying attention. They work so hard during class to waste the time and think about anything else rather than listen to someone for one hour out of the day and learn something. I have had one particular student who fights me on everything that I require or assign. It sounds to me like he refuses to work for anything; he wants a degree without lifting a finger. I’ve had students like this before, but they come around because they want to get something out of a degree -- not this student. I don’t know how to help him. His complaints make me wonder why he’s even in college if he’s against everything about it. How can I get through to this kid and figure out what is going on? -- Help Him Learn

DEAR HELP HIM LEARN: Schedule a one-on-one meeting with this student and ask him about his future goals. Ask him about how he’s been dealing with the isolation. Try to get him to open up a bit about his life. Tell him that you want to help him succeed, and you are worried that if he continues to refuse to apply himself, he will not only fail the class, but worse, he will not learn information that may be valuable in the future. If he feels he cannot concentrate this semester, suggest that he drop the class rather than waste his money. Better, though, would be for him to reset his attitude and decide to pay attention.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)