life

Supervisor Uncomfortable Requiring Vaccination

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | February 13th, 2021 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: The COVID-19 vaccine is now available to many who choose to get it. I have decided not to get the vaccine. I just feel like it's too rushed and new, and we don’t really know the effect of it just yet. I am a supervisor at a warehouse, and I received a memo that I was to tell my subordinates that in order to continue to work safely in the warehouse, every employee will be expected to get the COVID-19 vaccine and provide proof of having received it. I do not feel comfortable ordering others to do something for their health that they may not want just to keep their job. I feel like this is so wrong and possibly illegal. We are a small, privately owned company, but it doesn’t feel right. How can I talk to management about how wrong I think this is? Do you think I will lose my job over this? -- No Vaccine

DEAR NO VACCINE: This is tricky, given that we are living in dangerous times, healthwise. Every company and every individual is trying to figure out what to do. You are justified in your feelings of concern about the vaccines. For you, I highly recommend paying close attention to what the medical profession is saying. Follow the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (cdc.gov) to get regular updates on the progress of the vaccine.

As far as your job goes, while it is not yet considered illegal to refuse the vaccine, it certainly will cause a conflict if a supervisor refuses to follow the recommended protocol and, in turn, refuses to recommend it to staff. If you look at your employee handbook, there are probably any number of guidelines that are meant to be followed; they may not be legally binding but are nonetheless expected. As a leader, if you stand your ground and refuse to follow directions, it may be grounds for dismissal or transfer out of your leadership position.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for February 13, 2021

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | February 13th, 2021 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a professor, and I have been hosting all of my classes virtually, which, as I am sure you can imagine, has been challenging. Some students barely show up, and the ones that do are not paying attention. They work so hard during class to waste the time and think about anything else rather than listen to someone for one hour out of the day and learn something. I have had one particular student who fights me on everything that I require or assign. It sounds to me like he refuses to work for anything; he wants a degree without lifting a finger. I’ve had students like this before, but they come around because they want to get something out of a degree -- not this student. I don’t know how to help him. His complaints make me wonder why he’s even in college if he’s against everything about it. How can I get through to this kid and figure out what is going on? -- Help Him Learn

DEAR HELP HIM LEARN: Schedule a one-on-one meeting with this student and ask him about his future goals. Ask him about how he’s been dealing with the isolation. Try to get him to open up a bit about his life. Tell him that you want to help him succeed, and you are worried that if he continues to refuse to apply himself, he will not only fail the class, but worse, he will not learn information that may be valuable in the future. If he feels he cannot concentrate this semester, suggest that he drop the class rather than waste his money. Better, though, would be for him to reset his attitude and decide to pay attention.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

life

Reader Excited By Prospect of Tubman $20 Bill

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | February 12th, 2021 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: Now that Biden is in office, he is busting out so many new things already. One that I found interesting was his movement to put Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill. This was originally put into motion by President Obama, and now that Biden is President, I think it is noble that he is continuing this goal despite the effort being slowed down by President Trump. I think it’s a great plan that will be a daily reminder for Americans, but what can we really expect this to change for our futures? Have you given any thought to what this really means to people here on the ground? What difference, if any, do you see it making? -- Hero Tubman

DEAR HERO TUBMAN: Whenever a person is being considered to be put on the face of money, it’s a big deal because it happens so rarely. It is a symbolic gesture designed to highlight the contributions of the person to American culture. What might that mean, particularly about Harriet Tubman? Known as the Conductor, Tubman was a pivotal figure in American history. Born an enslaved woman, not only did she escape, but she returned countless times to lead others to freedom. Her courage, resilience and tenacity are inspiring for anyone. Seeing her face on American currency may inspire someone to look her up and learn about a part of American history that is rarely discussed openly. The more people learn about the fullness of our culture, the better off we all will be.

That said, many people do not pay attention to the faces on our currency or to the monuments in our parks. Imagine if we all did a little research to learn whose images we are honoring and what they say about who we are as a people!

life

Sense & Sensitivity for February 12, 2021

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | February 12th, 2021 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love my home, my job and where I live. What I don’t love is my landlord. I live in a college town, so often there are students looking for housing. Most tenants in this area are here for only a year or so and then leave. Because of this, my landlord told me that he gives tours of his units often. I signed a one-year lease, but I plan on being here for a couple of years with this new job.

My landlord emails me late at night to tell me that early in the morning he is coming to give a tour. He is supposed to give a 24-hour notice, but it's usually like a six-hour heads-up, which is very inconvenient for me. I approached him about this, telling him that showing my apartment -- during COVID-19 and when I have little interest in moving next year -- is inconsiderate. But he thinks he is within his rights. I don’t want to leave, but he is not respecting my boundaries. What should I do? -- Knocking Landlord

DEAR KNOCKING LANDLORD: Because of COVID-19, you may be able to push back successfully. It is unhealthy to bring random people into your home at all, let alone on an ongoing basis. Use the health argument to say that you do not want anyone entering your home who is not someone you have invited. If he continues to refuse, ask if you can extend your lease in exchange for being left alone. Or you may want to take him to court. Learn your rights and find out how you can file to protect your health. At the very least, you may want to have an attorney contact your landlord. Given that the CDC is recommending that people not even visit with their families indoors, you stand a good chance of keeping random apartment hunters out -- for now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

life

Family Treats Sick Reader Like a Pariah

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | February 11th, 2021 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I came down with a stomachache and sore throat recently, most likely based on something that I ate. But my stomach hurt so bad that I went to the doctor. Because I had had a fever one night when the pain was extra bad, the doctor made me get a COVID-19 test before I could do anything else. I waited for three days for it to come back, at home with my family. I already didn’t feel well, and then everybody started acting like I was going to kill them. My family accused me of making them ill because I went to the grocery store and maybe I exposed them to the virus. My friends scolded me for not being careful enough when I have gone outside -- which is hardly ever. I go to the grocery store and for walks occasionally just to stretch my legs, always wearing a mask. I didn’t appreciate how hostile they were. Anyway, I just got the results back -- NEGATIVE. But I’m still mad at how my loved ones treated me. Should I say something or just get over it? -- COVID Insanity

DEAR COVID INSANITY: People are scared. From medical professionals to the people living in your house, there is legitimate fear about contracting COVID-19. Especially now, when the death toll is well over 400,000 in the United States and the variants in England and South Africa threaten to be more contagious and more deadly, people are worried. You got the brunt of that worry.

I suggest letting it go that your family reacted intensely. Continue to be vigilant in wearing your mask, keeping your hands clean and maintaining distance. Don’t slack off on any of the basic protocols. And make an appointment to figure out what is wrong with you if the symptoms haven’t subsided.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for February 11, 2021

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | February 11th, 2021 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to get so frustrated with one of my longtime friends. It seems like the only time he reaches out to me is when he needs something. If he thinks someone could use my advice or he wants me to help somebody do something, he’s Johnny-on-the-spot. I wish he would just call to check on me and see how I’m doing. I have figured out that he thinks that he is showing his love for me by creating these relationships. I’ve had enough. How can I get my point across that I want all of these favors to stop? -- Enough

DEAR ENOUGH: Speak directly to your friend. Tell him that you want to be able to talk occasionally when the time is right, but you do not have the bandwidth to manage all the people he sends your way. Tell him you miss him -- not the basket of folks he constantly leaves at your doorstep. Acknowledge that you believe he does this because he appreciates you. Tell him that what you want from him is him -- not them.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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