DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I are pretty competitive when it comes to sports and gambling; it’s what we have always done since college. We get hurt -- like bumps and bruises -- but end up fine. We laugh it off and get back up, no problem. We gamble and make bets on games and random things. We do silly and crazy dares.

Recently, I got a new job that came with a signing bonus. While we were having one of our competitive nights, we made some bets, and I felt invincible putting up my big check. My friend, being my friend, matched it. I won, and he lost. I knew he could not afford to pay up, but he wrote me a check anyway. Now he won’t talk to me. I gave the money back to him, but his pride won’t let him keep it. I feel like a villain for winning. I don’t know how to fix this. What should I do? -- Sore Loser

DEAR SORE LOSER: Time will be the healer in this situation. What happened goes far beyond that competitive moment. In your moment of invincibility, you revealed to your friend that you have won a bigger competition, which neither of you may have realized you were in -- namely, that of the bigger paycheck and the uptick in your career.

All of the games that you two have played over the years show how competition lives at your core. Naturally, it would show its face when things get real. All you can do is let time take care of it. You were out of turn in waving the flag of your bonus in his face. After things cool off a bit, you can text or call him and invite him to engage again, like usual. Eventually, you should be able to establish a refreshed rapport.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband curses a lot these days. Even though we have two young children and I ask him repeatedly to curb his language, he just doesn’t seem to care anymore. He used to reserve his profanity for our private conversations, but now he can’t be bothered. My youngest, who is 7, just used curse words when speaking to me. I was mortified. I do not want my children to think that cursing is acceptable. How can I get my husband to stop? -- No More Potty Language

DEAR NO MORE POTTY LANGUAGE: Carve out a private moment with your husband when the children are asleep and you two are alert. Tell him you want to talk about something serious. Then go for it. Reveal that your youngest is now cursing, and you are concerned. Point out that your husband's constant profanity is fueling this. You want to teach the children to use appropriate, respectful language, and you need his support. Ask him to agree NOT to curse around them. Pick replacement words and phrases that you agree on. Push until he agrees.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I grew up in a house full of boys. I have four brothers who were rowdy and loud. Plus, my dad had a huge presence in the household. I have a boyfriend who is the opposite of them. He is sensitive and thoughtful. As much as I love my family, I would never call them sensitive. My boyfriend cries when we watch certain movies or when sad things happen. I like this about him.

But it leaves him vulnerable when he’s around my family. They constantly jab at him and tease him because he’s “soft.” When I have told them how much I like him and that I appreciate that softer side, they laugh at me. How can I get my family to welcome him when he is so different from them? Quite frankly, they can be bullies. -- Stop Bullying My Man

DEAR STOP BULLYING MY MAN: Your boyfriend is going to have to carve out a level of comfort for himself with your family. You cannot do this for him. He doesn’t have to become a bully himself or attempt to be different than he is, but he does need to establish his own space among the boys. My guess is that he will need to be able to ignore them, deflect their taunts and stand his ground.

What you can do is make sure that you clearly let your family know how much you care for him. You, too, should ignore their jibes. If you don’t add fuel to that fire, it may subside.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am tired of wearing a mask every time I go outside. I thought COVID-19 would be handled by now. It’s been almost a year, and I’ve had it. I want my old life back. Plus, I learned that a woman I know caught COVID even after wearing a mask, so what’s the point? I think I just want to live my life and see what happens. I am young and healthy. I want to see my friends and take off this mask. Since I haven't gotten sick yet, I think I should be good. Do you think I’m being stupid? I don’t plan on being reckless. I just want my regular life back. -- No More Mask

DEAR NO MORE MASK: It’s totally understandable that you are exhausted by the pandemic and the recommendations for staying safe. We are all tired. And yet, more than 400,000 Americans have died from COVID-19, including many young, healthy people. It is real, and it isn’t going away yet. Your friend who got the virus while wearing a mask is proof of how dangerous the illness is. That’s why the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends several measures: wearing a face covering, staying 6 feet apart and constantly washing your hands. They also suggest that you not gather in enclosed spaces whenever possible.

You should continue to follow these guidelines, even though it is frustrating. We don’t know how long this will last, but it won’t be forever. The vaccine should help us dramatically once enough people have been able to get it. Be patient. Visit from a distance with loved ones. Follow President Biden’s request to mask up for his first 100 days. It is worth it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter and I have a great relationship because it's always been just us. She tells me everything. When she was a teenager, she told me all the nitty and gritty, and there was a lot we went through; I can’t imagine she left anything out. I trust her. But now she's an adult making her own decisions, never consulting me. I guess that makes me feel left out and jealous.

One day I went to her home, and she left her phone open when she exited the room. I don't know what came over me, but I picked up her phone and started swiping through everything. I don’t know what I was looking for or expecting to find. A few seconds later, she came back into the room and caught me. Now she's not speaking to me. Why did I do this? I was frozen and had no words. I don't know what went through my head at the time. Maybe you could tell me why I would betray her privacy? -- Feeling Sorry

DEAR FEELING SORRY: You know why you went through her phone. What you need to do is tell your daughter and apologize. Be brutally honest. Reach out to her and ask her to talk. When she agrees -- which could take some time -- tell her how sorry you are for breaching her confidence by going through her phone. Admit that it has been difficult for you to step back as she grows into the woman she is becoming. Because she was so forthcoming with you when she was young and now she is not, you long to know more about her life. Be frank: You know that you should not have done that. Curiosity took over, and you started looking to see what’s going on in her life. Apologize. Promise to respect her privacy moving forward. Ask for her forgiveness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I have grown up together and stuck together through college. We studied similar fields but have different majors and degrees. We went to a job fair, and he met a recruiter and told me all about the job he was applying for. I was so amazed and couldn't help but feel like that job was a great fit for me. I searched around and got ahold of the recruiter for the position and got myself an interview. We both interviewed for a bunch of different jobs, but I think he wanted this job as much as me. Turns out, I got the job. Now I have to tell my friend, but I never mentioned applying for the job. I am going to be in hot water when I tell him. What should I say? -- I Stole His Job

DEAR I STOLE HIS JOB: This could be a dealbreaker for your friendship because it was clearly a breach of trust, and it was sneaky. You have to tell your friend, but don’t be surprised if he cuts you out of his life for your dishonesty. Tell him that you got a job -- the job that he had told you about. Admit that you also interviewed for it after learning about it from him. Tell him the truth. Apologize for not being forthcoming. Ask for his forgiveness. Don’t expect it, though.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)