DEAR HARRIETTE: I grew up in a house full of boys. I have four brothers who were rowdy and loud. Plus, my dad had a huge presence in the household. I have a boyfriend who is the opposite of them. He is sensitive and thoughtful. As much as I love my family, I would never call them sensitive. My boyfriend cries when we watch certain movies or when sad things happen. I like this about him.
But it leaves him vulnerable when he’s around my family. They constantly jab at him and tease him because he’s “soft.” When I have told them how much I like him and that I appreciate that softer side, they laugh at me. How can I get my family to welcome him when he is so different from them? Quite frankly, they can be bullies. -- Stop Bullying My Man
DEAR STOP BULLYING MY MAN: Your boyfriend is going to have to carve out a level of comfort for himself with your family. You cannot do this for him. He doesn’t have to become a bully himself or attempt to be different than he is, but he does need to establish his own space among the boys. My guess is that he will need to be able to ignore them, deflect their taunts and stand his ground.
What you can do is make sure that you clearly let your family know how much you care for him. You, too, should ignore their jibes. If you don’t add fuel to that fire, it may subside.