DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter and I have a great relationship because it's always been just us. She tells me everything. When she was a teenager, she told me all the nitty and gritty, and there was a lot we went through; I can’t imagine she left anything out. I trust her. But now she's an adult making her own decisions, never consulting me. I guess that makes me feel left out and jealous.
One day I went to her home, and she left her phone open when she exited the room. I don't know what came over me, but I picked up her phone and started swiping through everything. I don’t know what I was looking for or expecting to find. A few seconds later, she came back into the room and caught me. Now she's not speaking to me. Why did I do this? I was frozen and had no words. I don't know what went through my head at the time. Maybe you could tell me why I would betray her privacy? -- Feeling Sorry
DEAR FEELING SORRY: You know why you went through her phone. What you need to do is tell your daughter and apologize. Be brutally honest. Reach out to her and ask her to talk. When she agrees -- which could take some time -- tell her how sorry you are for breaching her confidence by going through her phone. Admit that it has been difficult for you to step back as she grows into the woman she is becoming. Because she was so forthcoming with you when she was young and now she is not, you long to know more about her life. Be frank: You know that you should not have done that. Curiosity took over, and you started looking to see what’s going on in her life. Apologize. Promise to respect her privacy moving forward. Ask for her forgiveness.