DEAR HARRIETTE: I asked my boyfriend for a break so I could have some space to think. He has bad reactions when I tell him things, and he can’t control his feelings. I have been scared to talk to him, which has led me to hide things from him. I constantly feel like I am lying to him, all to protect his feelings and his mood. He just can’t handle certain information, and he doesn’t listen to me -- he just jumps to react. It has made me rethink how we communicate and whether we can connect in a healthy way. If we can’t, then should we even be in a relationship? After realizing this, I asked for a break, but I’ve heard that people don’t get back together after a break. Do you think a break will help? -- Pausing on Love

DEAR PAUSING ON LOVE: I would say that you shouldn’t pause for too long. Your chance at making this relationship work will come from the two of you working together on your bond. What do you want? What do you need? Get clear on the answers to those questions. The bottom line is that you need to decide whether you want to devote your life to being with him. Figure that out first. Then, ask your boyfriend to get together to talk. Be open with him. If you think you want to be with him, tell him what you want in your relationship. Explain how important communication is for you, and give him examples of your concerns about the ways in which he reacts to you when you tell him things and what you have been doing to manage those reactions. Tell him that this worries you. Suggest that he go to anger management classes to gain competence at handling difficult information. See what he is willing to do to work with you. If he seems unwilling or unable to make the effort, you may have your answer about your future with him.

If it doesn’t seem like it’s possible to have a healthy bond, cut ties. Since you have already separated, this may be the cleanest time to break.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I believe my husband is either having an affair or getting dangerously close to it. We have not been close for a long time, but we have carved out a way of coexisting that I thought was common for couples who have been together for a long time. Recently, one of his college friends has come into the picture. They go out to eat and for drinks and to see art shows -- all kinds of things. Even during quarantine, they have made time for outings. He never wants to do anything like that with me. When I have made similar suggestions, he balks. When I have asked him about these outings with this woman, he blows it off, saying he’s just hanging out with an old friend. I went with them once, but it was uncomfortable. I felt like she was coming on to him, and he was enjoying the attention. I don’t want to lose my husband. What should I do? -- He’s Mine

DEAR HE’S MINE: Speak up and tell him that his relationship with this woman makes you uncomfortable. Tell him that you do not want him to continue to spend time with her. Be direct, and tell him that you feel that their friendship is a threat to your marriage. Ask him to choose to spend more time with you. His reaction will help you to know what he is willing and interested in doing.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I gave all of my nieces and nephews money for Christmas, mainly because we weren’t going to be able to see one another. I figured it was an efficient way to give them gifts. Plus, they are old enough to want to choose how to spend their money themselves. Of the six teenagers I sent money to, only two said thank you. I kid you not! I don’t mean a thank-you note. I mean anything. I didn’t hear boo from the others. I know they got the money because I sent it directly into their accounts. Two of them had to set up the delivery system so that they could even receive the money, which they did with help from their sister -- and still they didn’t say thank you. I am surprised at just how rude they were. Do you think I should say something, or maybe just not give them a gift next year? I worry that if I wait until next Christmas, though, they probably won’t even remember -- if they even realize it now. -- No Thank You

DEAR NO THANK YOU: This is your family, so you have the right to double back and talk to them about this. Contact each one directly. Check in to see how they are doing as this new year has begun. Ask if they received the money that you sent them for Christmas. When they respond affirmatively, ask them why they did not acknowledge receipt. Then tell them that it was rude to say nothing after receiving your gift and that you are offended by their bad manners. Teach them that in the cycle of giving and receiving, acknowledgment is the very least that they should do when receiving a gift. Expressing gratitude should be an action they cultivate. Make sure they know that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom is elderly and having a lot of difficulty these days. I have confided in a few friends about her condition. Several of these friends check in periodically to see how things are going. One friend calls me once or twice a week. It’s way too much. I appreciate the concern, but I have no interest in giving him a blow-by-blow of my mother’s condition. I know he is trying to show that he cares for me and my mom, but this is over the top. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I need him to chill. Should I say something or just be less available when he calls? I’m having a hard time coping with the stress of dealing with my mother’s illnesses. I don’t have the bandwidth to manage this friend who means well but is overwhelming. -- Too Much Support

DEAR TOO MUCH SUPPORT: I’m sorry about your mother’s failing health and your challenges with managing concerned loved ones. It’s all tough for you. Remember that this friend means well, even though his overtures are overwhelming. Next time he calls, thank him for checking in, and let him know that you can’t talk right now. Suggest that you talk in a week or so. Offer that you will check in with him if there are any changes. If he persists in calling too often, let the call go to voicemail when you are not up for talking. It is not rude of you to manage your time and energy.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boss called me after work hours the other evening; I had been sipping wine for some time, and I was definitely tipsy. I don’t even remember what my boss and I talked about because of my state. I’m worried that I sounded drunk. I also wonder if I agreed to do something for her that I can’t remember. Obviously, I know this is terrible, but how do I fix this? Do I ask my boss to remind me of what she wanted me to do? Do I apologize for being tipsy? Do I say nothing and hope for the best?

My job is important to me, and I don’t want to mess it up. My boss is pretty uptight, and I don’t think she takes kindly to drinking, so I’m really worried about how to handle this. -- Through Sober Eyes

DEAR THROUGH SOBER EYES: Being proactive will show that your intention is to be responsible for yourself. Given that the call was after hours, at least you were not drinking on the job. Legally, you should be on solid ground. But your boss’s view of your behavior may be tainted. I suggest that you speak to her directly. Tell her you were not in the best state of mind when she called the other evening. Admit that you are not sure if you fully addressed the reason for her call, and ask her to remind you.

Beyond that, do your best to manage your drinking so that you don’t get out of control again. If you ever do feel that you have consumed too much alcohol in the future, do yourself a favor and don’t answer the phone until you sober up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: People joke about gaining weight due to COVID-19, but I don’t think it’s funny. I bet I’ve gained more than the “COVID 19.” I was already a little bit overweight, and having to stay home for nearly a year has not been kind to me. Sitting around, not exercising, eating sometimes out of boredom -- you name it, I’ve done it. And now I am paying the price. My clothes don’t fit. I feel bloated, and I am worried that I can’t turn this around. I am ashamed of myself for unravelling this far, but here I am. I am horrified by the idea of seeing people I know when I’m in this state. I feel like such a failure. I need help. -- The COVID 19 (Pounds)

DEAR THE COVID 19 (POUNDS): Thousands of people are walking in the same shoes right now. But don’t worry. You can do something about it. The body is amazingly resilient. You do have to put in the effort, though.

Start by promising yourself that you will make a change in your habits -- eating and movement -- in order to refresh your course. Schedule an in-person physical where your doctor can check your vitals and help you assess what you need to do to get healthier.

Begin to move. You can walk 30 minutes a day or do simple exercises to get your body moving. Here’s a guide to some highly recommended online classes: bit.ly/391Wik5. Evaluate what you eat. Cut down on calories by reducing sugar and other carbs. Drink more water and eat more vegetables. For more ways to cut calories, check out this article: bit.ly/38Zq4pC.

Don’t give up. Track your success. You can do it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)