DEAR HARRIETTE: I gave all of my nieces and nephews money for Christmas, mainly because we weren’t going to be able to see one another. I figured it was an efficient way to give them gifts. Plus, they are old enough to want to choose how to spend their money themselves. Of the six teenagers I sent money to, only two said thank you. I kid you not! I don’t mean a thank-you note. I mean anything. I didn’t hear boo from the others. I know they got the money because I sent it directly into their accounts. Two of them had to set up the delivery system so that they could even receive the money, which they did with help from their sister -- and still they didn’t say thank you. I am surprised at just how rude they were. Do you think I should say something, or maybe just not give them a gift next year? I worry that if I wait until next Christmas, though, they probably won’t even remember -- if they even realize it now. -- No Thank You

DEAR NO THANK YOU: This is your family, so you have the right to double back and talk to them about this. Contact each one directly. Check in to see how they are doing as this new year has begun. Ask if they received the money that you sent them for Christmas. When they respond affirmatively, ask them why they did not acknowledge receipt. Then tell them that it was rude to say nothing after receiving your gift and that you are offended by their bad manners. Teach them that in the cycle of giving and receiving, acknowledgment is the very least that they should do when receiving a gift. Expressing gratitude should be an action they cultivate. Make sure they know that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom is elderly and having a lot of difficulty these days. I have confided in a few friends about her condition. Several of these friends check in periodically to see how things are going. One friend calls me once or twice a week. It’s way too much. I appreciate the concern, but I have no interest in giving him a blow-by-blow of my mother’s condition. I know he is trying to show that he cares for me and my mom, but this is over the top. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I need him to chill. Should I say something or just be less available when he calls? I’m having a hard time coping with the stress of dealing with my mother’s illnesses. I don’t have the bandwidth to manage this friend who means well but is overwhelming. -- Too Much Support

DEAR TOO MUCH SUPPORT: I’m sorry about your mother’s failing health and your challenges with managing concerned loved ones. It’s all tough for you. Remember that this friend means well, even though his overtures are overwhelming. Next time he calls, thank him for checking in, and let him know that you can’t talk right now. Suggest that you talk in a week or so. Offer that you will check in with him if there are any changes. If he persists in calling too often, let the call go to voicemail when you are not up for talking. It is not rude of you to manage your time and energy.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boss called me after work hours the other evening; I had been sipping wine for some time, and I was definitely tipsy. I don’t even remember what my boss and I talked about because of my state. I’m worried that I sounded drunk. I also wonder if I agreed to do something for her that I can’t remember. Obviously, I know this is terrible, but how do I fix this? Do I ask my boss to remind me of what she wanted me to do? Do I apologize for being tipsy? Do I say nothing and hope for the best?

My job is important to me, and I don’t want to mess it up. My boss is pretty uptight, and I don’t think she takes kindly to drinking, so I’m really worried about how to handle this. -- Through Sober Eyes

DEAR THROUGH SOBER EYES: Being proactive will show that your intention is to be responsible for yourself. Given that the call was after hours, at least you were not drinking on the job. Legally, you should be on solid ground. But your boss’s view of your behavior may be tainted. I suggest that you speak to her directly. Tell her you were not in the best state of mind when she called the other evening. Admit that you are not sure if you fully addressed the reason for her call, and ask her to remind you.

Beyond that, do your best to manage your drinking so that you don’t get out of control again. If you ever do feel that you have consumed too much alcohol in the future, do yourself a favor and don’t answer the phone until you sober up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: People joke about gaining weight due to COVID-19, but I don’t think it’s funny. I bet I’ve gained more than the “COVID 19.” I was already a little bit overweight, and having to stay home for nearly a year has not been kind to me. Sitting around, not exercising, eating sometimes out of boredom -- you name it, I’ve done it. And now I am paying the price. My clothes don’t fit. I feel bloated, and I am worried that I can’t turn this around. I am ashamed of myself for unravelling this far, but here I am. I am horrified by the idea of seeing people I know when I’m in this state. I feel like such a failure. I need help. -- The COVID 19 (Pounds)

DEAR THE COVID 19 (POUNDS): Thousands of people are walking in the same shoes right now. But don’t worry. You can do something about it. The body is amazingly resilient. You do have to put in the effort, though.

Start by promising yourself that you will make a change in your habits -- eating and movement -- in order to refresh your course. Schedule an in-person physical where your doctor can check your vitals and help you assess what you need to do to get healthier.

Begin to move. You can walk 30 minutes a day or do simple exercises to get your body moving. Here’s a guide to some highly recommended online classes: bit.ly/391Wik5. Evaluate what you eat. Cut down on calories by reducing sugar and other carbs. Drink more water and eat more vegetables. For more ways to cut calories, check out this article: bit.ly/38Zq4pC.

Don’t give up. Track your success. You can do it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I keep waking up in the night with the realization that I do not want to stay married. My husband and I have barely gotten along in years. He seems to have a short fuse all the time. We tiptoe around each other, and our only child is about to go away to college. It feels like things could naturally end after our kid goes to school, but I am scared to death about what to do next. I don’t have enough money to be on my own, and he does not have enough money to take care of both of us if we were to split, not that he would want to or have the duty to do that, anyway. I feel stuck because I can’t afford to go, which is horrible. I work, but I don’t make a lot of money, and I have virtually no savings. Should I just figure out how to stay or pray that there is a way for me to manage if I leave? -- At the End

DEAR AT THE END: Do you think your marriage is worth saving? If there may be a way to rekindle your affection for each other, consider inviting your husband to go to therapy with you. At these pivotal transition points in a marriage, couples often need to figure out ways to recommit.

No matter what, be honest with your husband. Find the courage to talk to him about your concerns. Ask him what he wants for the future. Express whatever is in your heart. If you believe that you should go your separate ways, say as much, and begin the conversation about how that might happen. Facing the unknown can be terrifying, but being honest about your life and the future is essential for your well-being. This is how you will figure out your next steps. No matter what, it will require more than resignation or prayer to gain peace of mind.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who recently lost both of her parents to COVID-19. She is devastated. They were a sweet couple and a tight-knit family. Her parents got sick at around the same time, even though they hardly went out of their house and always wore masks. Who knows why they didn’t survive, but now my friend is frozen. She is so sad. She is an only child. Though she has lots of friends, nobody can seem to console her. This is too much to bear, or so it seems. I want to be there for her. What can I do? -- After the Fall

DEAR AFTER THE FALL: Without being too pushy, stay in touch with your friend. It will take time for her to accept that her parents are gone. The grief right now is overwhelming. She has to process the loss and begin to see herself in the world truly alone -- familywise, that is. From there, she will begin to welcome her friends back into her covenant and recognize the value of that bond. As your friend heals, stay present. Now and again reach out and check to see if she needs anything.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)